ngsexplorer

Soooo...I've had this stupid restlessness for a while now. I feel that I am I guess living the bachelor life I never did before kind of? I mean, I was with my ex from right after I turned 20 until I was almost 25. I never did the bar scene and I've always had to be the "bread winner" so to speak so when I bought us a house, helped her get a new car, etc I had to work all the time and stay focused on being promoted and such.

Now, I feel like since I'm single, 25, and fairly sucessful I want to enjoy myself a little more...of course also now, almost every friend I have is married or in relationship with a forecast of married in the near future...not that there is anything wrong with that because I was in the same spot a year ago. It just sucks that I feel like I have no one to hang out with now that I am able to enjoy this so-called single life. I was hanging out with this lady friend of mine and things were pretty great for a while, but it is a slightly toxic relationship and she can go from one of the most enjoyable, awesome people I've ever hung out with to a total nutjob from one minute to the next sometimes. Not to mention absolutely EVERYTHING is my fault or because I do something wrong, or whatever. I've done a lot of shit for this chick over the past few months and helped her out with waaayyy too much because she is extremely unappreciative. I guess the point is, she's a slightly bi-polar crap face. With that said, she is the only person I can think of that would randomly throw a dance party with me at my house one evening and have a blast with just us two. Any other friends I have that I would say something like that to would look at me life I'm a child, but I want to have fun for a while ya know? I still have a lot of responsibilities and I still get my ass up and go to work every day and even go to class at night to finish my degree this semester. So it's not like I have taken this bad turn and am not taking care of my life and responsibilities or something. I mean half of them still get help from mommy and daddy anywase...I donno...I just need some rad single friends that are maybe in a similar place in their life and want to enjoy it. I hate this sitting around doing nothing shit. It doesn't have to be partying, I just don't like wasting a day doing nothing. TV can only entertain me for about an hour and then I'm done.

Sooo...anywase, this chick now hasn't talked to me in several days because of some other ridiculous shit she has come up with that I do wrong or piss her off about. I've tried to tell her let's just make up, get over it, and move on, but it's like she just thrives on the drama and bullshit of each situation. I also enjoy her companionship though. I tend to always find some sort of female companionship even when I'm single. I've never been the type to just sleep around from one girl to the next or something. Even when I'm single I'm usually attached at the hip to a girl...kinda stupid I'm sure, but oh well. So now...I'm lonely and bored and anxious and someone come play with me dammit. My ADHD can only be contained for so long! haha

I'm glad I'm making some strides forward in my life as far as trying to better some confidence issues of my own and some downfalls I feel I have. I'm trying to keep a positive trend on things and not let things of the past get me down (ex-bitchface that broke my heart after over 4yrs!!) and I'm proud that I have lost around 50lbs in just 4 months so far! Just another 30lbs to go and I'll be back to slim kid town. My career is just so-so right now. I have a decent job, I am basically the boss below the owner of the company and that's kinda cool I suppose and I am learning a lot if I want to start my own company, but there is still a great lack of fullfillment mainly due to the fact that I still have to answer to someone and don't make quite the money I want to be making ultimately...but I can't have it all right now. Anywase...I'm just rambling on my lunch break. Peace and unicorns.

Grantimus Radimus

P.S. FRESA---Come to OKC...