going to LEX in the morning. dad said 6am. i doubt it, somehow.
otherwise, it's been a nothing day. rain. rain, more rain
being pulled over at 3am on 27 because. we. "fit the description of a car leaving ruby tuesday's" where. violent acts were being done.
eh. not me. wish. fighting. fun.
beck. humor and come home. we shall beat the shit out each...
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otherwise, it's been a nothing day. rain. rain, more rain
being pulled over at 3am on 27 because. we. "fit the description of a car leaving ruby tuesday's" where. violent acts were being done.
eh. not me. wish. fighting. fun.
beck. humor and come home. we shall beat the shit out each...
Read More
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
I'M BACK.
and i have Hyena.
hah. and yar.
and i have Hyena.
hah. and yar.
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
ondyne:
Hi welcome back. Hyena said to come say hi, so I figured if you're a friend of Hyena's you gotta be pretty fucking rad. 
melvina:
AWWWW beck. beautiful mins mel.
bwahaha.
and hell. to parikhan. mm. c.u.t.e.
any.way.
LEX tomorrow. shopping for DOG THINGS, dickies pants and seeing howard at the hospital.
call you tomorrow, babe. <3
bwahaha.
and hell. to parikhan. mm. c.u.t.e.
any.way.
LEX tomorrow. shopping for DOG THINGS, dickies pants and seeing howard at the hospital.
call you tomorrow, babe. <3
i barely know what my own name is.
my brain is threatening to bust it's way out of the front of my skull. it pounds.
but it's raining outside and i was stiff from sitting at an odd, non-offensive angle at sean's and i stood in my parking lot and looked up and stood in that parking lot and let.it.fall.
the lights were too bright...
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my brain is threatening to bust it's way out of the front of my skull. it pounds.
but it's raining outside and i was stiff from sitting at an odd, non-offensive angle at sean's and i stood in my parking lot and looked up and stood in that parking lot and let.it.fall.
the lights were too bright...
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hyenahell:
soon. i am trying. i will call tomorrow. i am sorry i am not there now... but soon. i promise. soon.
i love you. more than anything.
<3beck.
i love you. more than anything.
<3beck.
nikonphoto80:
We all fell a little psychotic every once in while its the ones who dont ever fell psychotic that really are. 
i forgot to say that i'm taking a bit of an intermission. from saying much. because i'm going insane.
oh. and the doc upped my lithium x600.
oh. and the doc upped my lithium x600.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
nikonphoto80:
You need to come with derelict and see me Friday it would be a good time. 
hyenahell:
as long as we can still play cowboys. i want to. very badly. call. or i might have to call you. between hiding from the phone and cussing at telemarketers who offer me money to answer medical questions... i said no. many times. he wouldn't listen, so i snapped. and told him, that if someone said they prefered not to, even if it sounded odd, he should respect that. i also called him a telephone rapist. i thought it was funny. he didn't. but he left me alone after that.
some things just strike you as. funny.
you know. not plain and not. over-exagerrated.
any way. POINT BEING:
sean and i were sitting here. smoking. and talking about his sister's rolling capabilities. which probably rival mine. mostly bad except when using a $1 bill.
and he informs me that. and he couldn't think of what to say so i thought.
preganant?
and. he says....
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you know. not plain and not. over-exagerrated.
any way. POINT BEING:
sean and i were sitting here. smoking. and talking about his sister's rolling capabilities. which probably rival mine. mostly bad except when using a $1 bill.
and he informs me that. and he couldn't think of what to say so i thought.
preganant?
and. he says....
Read More
VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
hyenahell:
I HAVE AN IDEA!!!
let's book one of those out west weekend horse riding trips! where you get to ride crazy mountain trails on horseback and cook in iron skillets over a fire in the dessert and sing cowboy songs! we can wear cowboy hats and EVERYTHING!
LET'S DO IT! PLEEEEEASE?????
let's book one of those out west weekend horse riding trips! where you get to ride crazy mountain trails on horseback and cook in iron skillets over a fire in the dessert and sing cowboy songs! we can wear cowboy hats and EVERYTHING!
LET'S DO IT! PLEEEEEASE?????
melvina:
OMG.YES.
meh. i'm tired and do not wish to work today.
derelict:
you and me both....
I almost went schitzo on some little girls in class.
Kids are so lazy these days
Beck will be here soon.
Maybe that helps.
-tash
I almost went schitzo on some little girls in class.
Kids are so lazy these days
Beck will be here soon.
Maybe that helps.
-tash
i danced with dee till dawn in the yard, under a half.moon.and.stars.
i punk-rocked-it-around-the-couch. in the living room. and shook like i wouldn't in public, or maybe like i should- and the dancing made me dizzy and We danced a dance for jules.
the waltz.
i woke up with a hang over from too much whiskey and gust- and.went.from.bed.to.bath.to.work.
terrible things We must do for...
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i punk-rocked-it-around-the-couch. in the living room. and shook like i wouldn't in public, or maybe like i should- and the dancing made me dizzy and We danced a dance for jules.
the waltz.
i woke up with a hang over from too much whiskey and gust- and.went.from.bed.to.bath.to.work.
terrible things We must do for...
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swizal:
Yay!!!
melvina:
bwahaha. now beware, dear. that be the 23rd i think. what are you doing around then any how?
melvina:
mel.and.jules.and.the.beck.and.sorts.
razelove:
you're pretty, are those scars on your chest? they look kind of painful. I have an irregularly shaped sternum, not quite the same as scars, but its a bit uncomfortable as well. Anywho, you looked familiar, but when I looked at your pics I realized it was one of those fleeting resemblances. Anywho, I'm matt
manic.panic.I.WENT.TO.WAL-MART. hell.
and there was an alarm so loud i held.my.hands.to.my.ears.and.yelled.
yelled for it to STOP and people.just.kept.shopping. like everything was normal. but not me. i'm stuck in the vegetable section, screaming like a fuckin maniac "TURN IT OFF!" and pacing.
oh. and i freaked out the mexicans. sorry, guys.
i got go-go juice and went.inside.on.a.manic.HIGH. high, high up but no drugs. sigh. i walked.briskly....
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and there was an alarm so loud i held.my.hands.to.my.ears.and.yelled.
yelled for it to STOP and people.just.kept.shopping. like everything was normal. but not me. i'm stuck in the vegetable section, screaming like a fuckin maniac "TURN IT OFF!" and pacing.
oh. and i freaked out the mexicans. sorry, guys.
i got go-go juice and went.inside.on.a.manic.HIGH. high, high up but no drugs. sigh. i walked.briskly....
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
swizal:
i hate wal-mart i have to go there right now i work in the shitty deli there is not a worse job!
melvina:
yeah but at least i could find you if i tried.
i smell like violets and razor blades.
but i did clean the large drops of blood off the bathroom floor. i am clean but not relaxed.
i'm swallowed all my pills that just don't work any more. i need to up them. all of them. and am chasing those with a bit too much wine, i'd say.
ah well. i have to work tomorrow. i...
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but i did clean the large drops of blood off the bathroom floor. i am clean but not relaxed.
i'm swallowed all my pills that just don't work any more. i need to up them. all of them. and am chasing those with a bit too much wine, i'd say.
ah well. i have to work tomorrow. i...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
swizal:
yeah what they said!!! anything but what you are doing now!!! i dont know you very well so i will keep my nose out of it. come to lex we will go geet a beer or something whatever you want just get happier!!!
melvina:
haha. the cutting is therapy for my, guys. no worries. not suicidal. i know that jules would not permit that.
i just. need a better schedule. i need to transfer homes. and then i need to come to lexington and have a motherfucking shot of some thing, or ten. cause justin, babe. i can't drink beer. it. tastes weird. but you can guzzle as many as you like!
i have to go back to work... sigh. so tired. headache for the fourth day in a row. yay. and. i need a part time job. i just don't know where with all the shit in my face.
hum.
any how. LOVELY OF YOU TO POST FOR ME. i like notes. they entertain me. and. make me think i exist, some times.
snicker. <3
i just. need a better schedule. i need to transfer homes. and then i need to come to lexington and have a motherfucking shot of some thing, or ten. cause justin, babe. i can't drink beer. it. tastes weird. but you can guzzle as many as you like!
i have to go back to work... sigh. so tired. headache for the fourth day in a row. yay. and. i need a part time job. i just don't know where with all the shit in my face.
hum.
any how. LOVELY OF YOU TO POST FOR ME. i like notes. they entertain me. and. make me think i exist, some times.
snicker. <3
i dreamed of jules.
we were on a greyhound bus. (when she sent me dreams while she was alive. we were always on buses. all sorts. or trains. or subways. always one of those.)
we were going to texas. but stopped in the middle of arkasas. and some people got off the bus. we got off the bus.
and the bus left us behind.
and...
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we were on a greyhound bus. (when she sent me dreams while she was alive. we were always on buses. all sorts. or trains. or subways. always one of those.)
we were going to texas. but stopped in the middle of arkasas. and some people got off the bus. we got off the bus.
and the bus left us behind.
and...
Read More
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
melvina:
wow.
my.
and thank you. more insight is always good.
<3
my.
and thank you. more insight is always good.
<3
alyk:
sorry to co-op your journal, but....I constantly have dreams about phones...not being able to dial, losing the phone, etc...so I asked my psych prof what he thought and he said that there was no freudian interp that he knew of but he's heard that the general interp is something about meeting strangers who harass you and bewilder you in your affairs...scary, huh? I don't know if it's true, but thought I share... 
i.am.taking.the.first.drawl. of. the.first.cigarette. of. the.morning.
the first hit and sniff and... just enough to get me to work where i know i'll be interviewed for some thing i didn't do and sent home for it too. without pay.
at this moment. i am not caring. barely at all. except for the part where i am accused of things i haven't done.
i hate that.
it...
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the first hit and sniff and... just enough to get me to work where i know i'll be interviewed for some thing i didn't do and sent home for it too. without pay.
at this moment. i am not caring. barely at all. except for the part where i am accused of things i haven't done.
i hate that.
it...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
derelict:
glad youre back on line. and once again I know those dreams, even my oldest son has them, and looks to the shower for his daddy. It's even sadder to see someone so small feel this anger and confused pain. I will not be able to tell him his father took his own life due to stupidity. He is beginning to ask Q's now. The farthest thing to deep I've told him was a half-truth. "He took somebody elses meds." thats is more than he understands, but he still asks fpr more...
I would really like for you to go with me next time I go see NikonPhoto80. He really is very sweet.
I would really like for you to go with me next time I go see NikonPhoto80. He really is very sweet.
nikonphoto80:
Well ill buy that fucking book and when it is on the best sellers list we will make a move and win so many awards.
maddy,s birthday party was great ill write more about that later
maddy,s birthday party was great ill write more about that later
[Edited on Jun 06, 2005 2:34PM]
there is a thought. I have some property here in somerset where we wouldn't be bothered but is easy to find from the highway, will look into that.