Right now, out there, somewhere in the world is a man with a very small penis. This poor pathetic little man has such a disturbingly small penis his testosterone imbalance refines a pure form of envy that fuels a rage inside him he must take out on anyone that has a larger penis than him...which is everyone. Sometime in the last few days this sad...
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lordmuppet:
that sucks. Im sorry for you. 
micajah:
Small penis usually means little balls. Hence no goods. 
Has anyone else ever noticed the irony in someone saying, "You are so selfish. You never consider my feelings"? By its very nature it is selfish and hypocritical.
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menotyou:
Hmm...yea. Datsun is right. It's still selfish but not necessarily hypocritical.
...or unjust.
[Edited on Jun 09, 2005 10:52AM]
...or unjust.
[Edited on Jun 09, 2005 10:52AM]
maibey:
Now don't go thinking that you're special
Just because you are...
Cause I always over think it
And I always go too far.
Just because you are...
Cause I always over think it
And I always go too far.
I got toasted last night. My hang over is so apparent three people have commented I look like, "Death warmed over". What the hell does that mean anyway? Who warms a dead person up? Dirty people perhaps?
I'm going to head some of you off at the pass here and explain I really do understand that "death warmed over", is a euphemism for, "You look...
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I'm going to head some of you off at the pass here and explain I really do understand that "death warmed over", is a euphemism for, "You look...
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maibey:
Did you at least get laid?
maibey:
what, did you call a hooker or something? I know, one of those dirty talk phone lines, huh? either way, sounds like this girl was a dirty nasty whore--not someone you'd bring home to your momma (so they can talk about gilmore girls)
this is the worst reply i have ever written
this is the worst reply i have ever written
It's possible that was the longest I have ever gone without updating. Wow.
Ok...I have a very serious question to pose for everyone. How is it possible for someone that doesn't live in my apartment to leave their shoes behind? Seriously. For months now my roommate and I have both been assuming the shoes belonged to the other. I find it hard to comprehend how...
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Ok...I have a very serious question to pose for everyone. How is it possible for someone that doesn't live in my apartment to leave their shoes behind? Seriously. For months now my roommate and I have both been assuming the shoes belonged to the other. I find it hard to comprehend how...
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maibey:
weak man...weak
micajah:
Thems is mine shoes'
It will be awesome when someone lays down on your couch and you can tell yourself that their face is mixing with your naked ball sweat.
[Edited on Jun 01, 2005 9:38AM]
It will be awesome when someone lays down on your couch and you can tell yourself that their face is mixing with your naked ball sweat.
[Edited on Jun 01, 2005 9:38AM]
One of my friends recently saw a panhandler with a sign that said, "Parents killed by Ninjas. Need money for kung-fu." That was the first time in my life I ever had bum envy.
If I tell you I am going to lie to you before I do, does it still count as lying? You would know it is a lie so at least a...
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If I tell you I am going to lie to you before I do, does it still count as lying? You would know it is a lie so at least a...
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micajah:
Let's design a community where all our friends live on the same block. We'll have a huge Recreation building in the center where we have partys, barbq's, and shows(of all kinds).
maibey:
Dude, why would you do that in the first place?
Umm, can my friends go too? We'll behave.
Umm, can my friends go too? We'll behave.
My new theory on Men and Women.
Girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice.
Boys are made of snips and snails and puppy dog tails.
Have you ever HAD sugar and spice? Mix some garlic and brown sugar, the result will be a little vomit in your mouth. Seriously...try it. For that matter what the fuck is a "snip"? If it's a...
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Girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice.
Boys are made of snips and snails and puppy dog tails.
Have you ever HAD sugar and spice? Mix some garlic and brown sugar, the result will be a little vomit in your mouth. Seriously...try it. For that matter what the fuck is a "snip"? If it's a...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
rockadiva:
garlic and brown sugar didn't make me throw up in my mouth...
however, did. 
How was prom?
[Edited on May 20, 2005 2:26PM]
maibey:
Douche tongue...I think you've stumbled across a new petname!
Jay goes to Prom
Part Tres: The bloody anus.
About five minutes after the long walk back from the cemetery to my room I learned about my absent drivers license. Yesmy ID is missing. The first butt puckering thought to enter my skull was, How in the holy hell am I going to get home?!?! San Francisco is cool and all, but Im starting to...
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Part Tres: The bloody anus.
About five minutes after the long walk back from the cemetery to my room I learned about my absent drivers license. Yesmy ID is missing. The first butt puckering thought to enter my skull was, How in the holy hell am I going to get home?!?! San Francisco is cool and all, but Im starting to...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
maibey:
Haha, did you really see him fucking a goat? And by goat...do you mean a nasty little goat, or GOAT?
maibey:
Goat is the weirdest word ever. shawww
Part 2.5: Filler Crap until I finish part 3.
This is how these bastards LIVE!
Bow and Arrow?? I dunno. It made me laugh though.
Yea...a little piece of home. How nice of them.
Think about this for a second. How bad does it really have to be before they get off their asses and actually put up a sign? I steered clear...
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This is how these bastards LIVE!
Bow and Arrow?? I dunno. It made me laugh though.
Yea...a little piece of home. How nice of them.
Think about this for a second. How bad does it really have to be before they get off their asses and actually put up a sign? I steered clear...
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micajah:
Wait.....whats going on here?
maibey:
umm, no thank you. my man is hung like donkey kong. like a fucking humpback whale.
Part Deux:
Friday night I just fucked around and did nothing of note. Saturday however I woke up and chose to pay homage to the late great Emperor Joshua Norton I.
Step 1: The bridge. The bay bridge allows travelers to quickly ride from San Francisco to Oakland. This $77 million (depression dollars mind you) idea was commissioned by our illustrious late...
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Friday night I just fucked around and did nothing of note. Saturday however I woke up and chose to pay homage to the late great Emperor Joshua Norton I.
Step 1: The bridge. The bay bridge allows travelers to quickly ride from San Francisco to Oakland. This $77 million (depression dollars mind you) idea was commissioned by our illustrious late...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
vixen:
You went to Prom? How was it?
lemonkid:
Fuck Brad. Her and me.
Ahh....San Francisco. Last night I received a fairly potent omen that Lady Eris was watching my trip. I have been rereading the amazing Sandman series as I mentioned in my last post. The last story I read before crashing out was a riveting tale about none other than Joshua Norton. The man whose grave I plan to visit tomorrow afternoon.
The next morning long after...
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The next morning long after...
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micajah:
ech! I hate planes. I do like having my crotch patted down though. 
micajah:
Sounds like a plan! Are the tickets on sale already?