If I had a band I would call it 'Master of Ceremonies'. I would rock harder than the hardest rockers in the world. I would rock hardest. According to MySpace there are three other bands that are using my band name. One of them is a rapper with 0 plays, one of them is techno with 0 plays, and the last is a metal band...
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I decided to totally rewrite my resume today. I really hate selling myself like this. I feel like a dirty whore preparing for a sleazy night on the street looking for anyone that will have me. I was prompted into action by a call from a job recruiter I have talked with on several occasions about finding me something better than my current job. This...
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ddom:
I like the way Monster works. You can put all kinds of stuff in and it will give only you an "okay" resume but it is a good first draft.
Let me know when your current job is available. I can code COBOL in my sleep and then do real programming when I wake up. Do you think 30+ years COBOL experience is enough?
Let me know when your current job is available. I can code COBOL in my sleep and then do real programming when I wake up. Do you think 30+ years COBOL experience is enough?
smith:
There are plenty of CV companies out there, and they all suck - primarily because they're COMPLETELY DISHONEST.
ergo., let's assume I can program in Visual Basic. This will get extrapolated to:
"Experience in Visual Basic, ASP, ASP.NET VB#, enterprise development with VB, etc."
Which is nonsense. Lather, rinse, repeat. I've done hiring and seen this trend way too many times.
Case in point: a guy I used to work with got a job as an LDAP administrator about four months after he started working with me. He didn't even know what LDAP stood for, but a couple months down the road, he got hired because of a bullshit CV.
And you think composing the CV makes you feel like a whore? Wait until you get to defend it at a panel interview.
ergo., let's assume I can program in Visual Basic. This will get extrapolated to:
"Experience in Visual Basic, ASP, ASP.NET VB#, enterprise development with VB, etc."
Which is nonsense. Lather, rinse, repeat. I've done hiring and seen this trend way too many times.
Case in point: a guy I used to work with got a job as an LDAP administrator about four months after he started working with me. He didn't even know what LDAP stood for, but a couple months down the road, he got hired because of a bullshit CV.
And you think composing the CV makes you feel like a whore? Wait until you get to defend it at a panel interview.
Christ. This month is wearing me down.
I spent the whole weekend shitting myself into dehydration. I can't even remember the last time I had a stomach flu...I must have been in junior high or something.
Being unable to leave the couch for several days pretty much forced me to quit smoking. I'm on day three. All I need to do is make it to...
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I spent the whole weekend shitting myself into dehydration. I can't even remember the last time I had a stomach flu...I must have been in junior high or something.
Being unable to leave the couch for several days pretty much forced me to quit smoking. I'm on day three. All I need to do is make it to...
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maibey:
Yes! That kid's going to be much better looking than anything Jay and I could conjure up.
shadowd:
I hope your health and your server are fully restored. We're over the half way point of February - hang in there.
menotyou:
My wrinkled balls
Well. It's official. I just turned old. Thirty years from the typing of this very sentence my mother vagina was being torn asunder. I celebrated my emergence by drinking a glass of twenty five year old scotch on the rocks and smoking a cigarette at exactly 12:01 am. This was a very satisfactory way to usher in the elder age of Jay.
Despite my advanced...
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Despite my advanced...
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ryah:
i'm making the frosting for those penis cookies...in my nasal cavity!
micajah:
I'll be in Austin this weekend. 
and 
Have a safe drive.
and
Have a safe drive.
Today begins year three with my beloved Honubandit. Last night she shaved a mohawk into my head, we ate sushi, and rang up a $50 tab on $2.50 beers. Then we went home, finished off a six pack, and talked until 6:00a.m. When I called in to work this morning I felt fully justified in the claim that I was sick. It was a...
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micajah:
Cheers!
I shall drink a stiff one for your 30th. Pun intended?
I shall drink a stiff one for your 30th. Pun intended?
shadowd:
Congrats to you both! It's a great feeling when you find someone who willingly puts up with you. 
From "Go Home" by Barenaked Ladies:
If you're lucky to be one of the few
To find somebody who can tolerate you
Then I shouldn't have to tell you again
Just pack your bags and get yourself on a plane
If you need her, you should be there
Go home
From "Go Home" by Barenaked Ladies:
If you're lucky to be one of the few
To find somebody who can tolerate you
Then I shouldn't have to tell you again
Just pack your bags and get yourself on a plane
If you need her, you should be there
Go home
Have you seen Return of the King? You remember that part at the end where Sam and Frodo are all dehydrated as hell? I'm pretty sure they didn't run out of water but instead are parched because they never stop crying. They cry like 15 times. I would be thirsty too if I spent months being a weepy bitch. Seriously though...it's a great movie.
Wil...
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Wil...
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readyamykill:
dude.
i came up with stuff on my cat.
well, not really, but almost.
i came up with stuff on my cat.
well, not really, but almost.
readyamykill:
also, 6 days left?
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readyamykill:
it makes me wish i was a meter maid
ryah:
CAN I PLEEEEEAAAAASE BRING PANCAKE TO THE PARTY TONIGHT?
she is going to be all alone next week, when i'm in chicago. plz plz plz?
she is going to be all alone next week, when i'm in chicago. plz plz plz?
Man. My company is such a cheap ass. We don't get Christmas bonuses or parties. We DO get a free lunch with a raffle however. Whooo! Yeah. Last year the raffle included a bunch of crap and gift certificates. This year they opted not to do the gift certificates because we are now a public company so all we are left with is the possibility...
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smellslikescifi:
Why are you complaining, I LOVE waffles!
OH. RAFFLES.
Ok, that DOES suck. REVOLT!
OH. RAFFLES.
Ok, that DOES suck. REVOLT!
smith:
Dave can help you turn the jacket into tacky. Ask him how!
And they make more than just metal back patches. plz.
And they make more than just metal back patches. plz.
I ordered a package last night at 6:00 PM CST. The package shipped from Illinois and was in my office before I got to work at 10:00 AM this morning. That is damn impressive during the holiday season.
Right now I'm at work watching the Star Wars Christmas Special. Twenty Eight years one month and three days ago Christmas was raped by George Lucas. I...
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Right now I'm at work watching the Star Wars Christmas Special. Twenty Eight years one month and three days ago Christmas was raped by George Lucas. I...
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martini:
you get paid to watch blasphemy?
i want in on this.
xo
i want in on this.
xo
lemonkid:
Fuck that's crazy shipping.
Air Force Intelligence
Army Intelligence
Central Intelligence Agency
Coast Guard Intelligence
Defense Intelligence Agency
Department of Energy
Department of Homeland Security
Department of State
Department of the Treasury
Drug Enforcement Administration
Federal Bureau of Investigation
Marine Corps Intelligence
National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency
National Reconnaissance Office
National Security Agency
Navy Intelligence
That's 16 intelligence agencies. Am I the only one that thinks it would do the country...
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Army Intelligence
Central Intelligence Agency
Coast Guard Intelligence
Defense Intelligence Agency
Department of Energy
Department of Homeland Security
Department of State
Department of the Treasury
Drug Enforcement Administration
Federal Bureau of Investigation
Marine Corps Intelligence
National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency
National Reconnaissance Office
National Security Agency
Navy Intelligence
That's 16 intelligence agencies. Am I the only one that thinks it would do the country...
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micajah:
I came up with it. But I'm sure many people have said it before.
micajah:
Aaaaaaaah Crap! Whatever.
I'll probably like it just because its a fantasy movie. For gods sake, I love Starship Troopers. And that movie is terrible.
I have a feeling people didn't like it because they were expecting a Harry Potter movie.
I'll probably like it just because its a fantasy movie. For gods sake, I love Starship Troopers. And that movie is terrible.
I have a feeling people didn't like it because they were expecting a Harry Potter movie.
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ddom:
I only use Firefox.
Can you think of any reason I would have to logout to see my own journal? I filed a help request but it has to be something crazy.
Can you think of any reason I would have to logout to see my own journal? I filed a help request but it has to be something crazy.
maibey:
You got it.
I warm squishy feeling you though.