So, we're currently on storm deployment right now.
Storm deployment. The words themselves me make me nauseous. They produce a certain level of fright in anybody who has ever had to deal with them. Those two words represent man's inability to cope with nature. When man (in the Phoenix-Metro area) is unable to cope with anything who do they call? Me.
We have storms in AZ but these past couple of little windy things aren't storms. It's just big wind. Deal with it people. People call us because the dust is coming in their door and getting their furniture dirty. First thing that would pop into somebodies head: close the fucking door. But nooooooooo! "I can't close the door because it's getting cooler outside." We all have tradeoffs, lady. A cooler temperature in your residence means dirtier furniture. Or else turn down the AC. It works for me. I can't wait for the monsoons to start. I hope we have a fucked up monsoon season so that when people look back at this year the days when there were some tiny dust storms are viewed as the Golden Ages.
Next up: heat. Heat fucks with people around here. People from all over the US move to Arizona due to the semi-booming economy and the cheaper-than-California (though not necessarily cheap) housing. Of course moving from Chicago to AZ just before the summer hits is not a good idea. It takes a while to acclimate. During the acclimation phase one should try to slowly introduce their frail frames to the scorching weather. Slowly take small walks down the street and back. Then get back in the AC. One should not decide they want to go on a 3-mile jog Mr. New-to-the-Area-From-Chicago. Because when one stops sweating and their body temp jumps through the roof then who gets called? Me--again. Then four guys have to come in a big, red Tonka Toy and save your ass. Not to mention the two in the tinier, red ambulance that have to take your ass to the hospital for being a fucktard. Baby steps, Mr. Chicago.
I do have a soft spot in my heart for the homeless though. I keep a case of bottled water in my trunk and when see a homeless person or homeless people I stop off if I'm able and I give them some water. It makes me feel good, plus it lessens the chance that we'll be running on some homeless person suffering from heat stroke. Nothing causes people to call us faster than a homeless person having a seizure on the sidewalk. That and fires--and car accidents--car accidents with fire. Well, there are a few things that people will call us for faster than a homeless person having a seizure. But seizuring HP are in the top 100--hopefully.
It's Friday which means that tonight we'll have a lot of car wrecks and assaults at various bars. There should be a few people unconscious people in vehicles. People drink alot and then drive and then they always end up passing out at 7-11. It's kind of weird. Always 7-11.
Well, I hope you all have a good time this weekend and in the coming weeks. I'm gonna have to take some time to hang with people from here. It's cool that work keeps me busy as all hell but it sucks that I don't get to see my peeps as often as I'd like.
*****
Fuck yah! Four shootings last night! I love my city.
On another note, the Phoenix Fire Dept Thunder, the football team we have in The National Public Safety Football League, beat the FDNY's Bravest yesterday for the Championship, 31-26. I love my job.
Now, sleepytime.
Storm deployment. The words themselves me make me nauseous. They produce a certain level of fright in anybody who has ever had to deal with them. Those two words represent man's inability to cope with nature. When man (in the Phoenix-Metro area) is unable to cope with anything who do they call? Me.
We have storms in AZ but these past couple of little windy things aren't storms. It's just big wind. Deal with it people. People call us because the dust is coming in their door and getting their furniture dirty. First thing that would pop into somebodies head: close the fucking door. But nooooooooo! "I can't close the door because it's getting cooler outside." We all have tradeoffs, lady. A cooler temperature in your residence means dirtier furniture. Or else turn down the AC. It works for me. I can't wait for the monsoons to start. I hope we have a fucked up monsoon season so that when people look back at this year the days when there were some tiny dust storms are viewed as the Golden Ages.
Next up: heat. Heat fucks with people around here. People from all over the US move to Arizona due to the semi-booming economy and the cheaper-than-California (though not necessarily cheap) housing. Of course moving from Chicago to AZ just before the summer hits is not a good idea. It takes a while to acclimate. During the acclimation phase one should try to slowly introduce their frail frames to the scorching weather. Slowly take small walks down the street and back. Then get back in the AC. One should not decide they want to go on a 3-mile jog Mr. New-to-the-Area-From-Chicago. Because when one stops sweating and their body temp jumps through the roof then who gets called? Me--again. Then four guys have to come in a big, red Tonka Toy and save your ass. Not to mention the two in the tinier, red ambulance that have to take your ass to the hospital for being a fucktard. Baby steps, Mr. Chicago.
I do have a soft spot in my heart for the homeless though. I keep a case of bottled water in my trunk and when see a homeless person or homeless people I stop off if I'm able and I give them some water. It makes me feel good, plus it lessens the chance that we'll be running on some homeless person suffering from heat stroke. Nothing causes people to call us faster than a homeless person having a seizure on the sidewalk. That and fires--and car accidents--car accidents with fire. Well, there are a few things that people will call us for faster than a homeless person having a seizure. But seizuring HP are in the top 100--hopefully.
It's Friday which means that tonight we'll have a lot of car wrecks and assaults at various bars. There should be a few people unconscious people in vehicles. People drink alot and then drive and then they always end up passing out at 7-11. It's kind of weird. Always 7-11.
Well, I hope you all have a good time this weekend and in the coming weeks. I'm gonna have to take some time to hang with people from here. It's cool that work keeps me busy as all hell but it sucks that I don't get to see my peeps as often as I'd like.
*****
Fuck yah! Four shootings last night! I love my city.
On another note, the Phoenix Fire Dept Thunder, the football team we have in The National Public Safety Football League, beat the FDNY's Bravest yesterday for the Championship, 31-26. I love my job.
Now, sleepytime.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
sarahannsg:
lots of people share your waterskiing story. Are you going to any good shows this summer? Well providing there are no life threatening dust storms. . .or perhaps. . .rain 
handsomejoe:
It sounds like you have a busy summer with work. I bet you can hardly wait until the monsoons when people drive their cars into flooded roads.