lolablu

The most important thing I've learned in treatment is that I need to retain a sense of humor, about absolutely everything. A sense of humor will carry me through. So today, family members were invited to come to the program to ask questions for about an hour. I was so touched by the concern that people's family members showed that I joked, "Anyone want to...
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It would be great if, every once in a while, my parents could be on time for something. I have lunch plans with them. The plans were originally set for half an hour from now. Have my parents left the house yet to undertake the 45-minute drive to my place? No. They're leaving in "15 minutes." Meaning about 30 minutes, I would guess. They will...
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There may be only one man in New York who loves Classical literature, medieval theology, empiricist philosophy, and the history of American Protestantism. Our first conversation was about Julian of Norwich. He knows about my eating disorder and my depression and, instead of being freaked out, he's supportive. Ladies and gentlemen, I have faith in the workings of the universe, for the first time in...
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OK, my cleavage is back in full effect. If I eat healthily and exercise and try to let my body take the shape that's natural for it, it turns out that I'm sorta curvy. So over the past 6 months or so, I have gone from 32 A to 34 D. Sweet Jesus. I need to go spend some time alone with myself now.

The weather outside is frightful, but the opera is so delightful. My treatment program was cancelled for the day, I cancelled my appointment with my therapist, and I'm staying in until this evening, when I'll be seeing Renee Fleming as Desdemona in the Met's production of Otello. Joy!

I have an announcement to make. I am not pregnant. That's right: I am not currently gestating a fetus in my womb, nor do I plan on doing so in the near future. Many of the people in my environment are fruitful and multiplying these days, so, if you've found yourself thinking of me and wondering, "When will she procreate?" the answer is, "I don't...
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My birthday weekend was great. It was filled with good friends, burlesque performers, drag queens, and hotness in general. Thank you for all your birthday wishes!

What follows is an actual exchange over lunch today:

M: My husband told me the only time he ever cried at a movie was when Spock died.

Me: What do you say to that?

H: I can tell you what to say in Klingon.

Went out with a super cute British girl last night. It was my first date with a woman in quite some time, and it was refreshing. I don't mean to disparage men, but I often don't understand them as well as I do women. Anyway, my new lady friend sent me sweet text messages all day today, and I'm looking forward to seeing her again...
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I had the nicest time last night. I went to dinner and the opera with a friend. Dinner was amazing, and the Met's production of Carmen is awesome. Seriously, it left my friend and I in awe. The chemistry between Olga Borodina (Carmen) and Marcelo Alvarez (Don Jose) was palpable, even from our seats all the way in the back. Opera makes me love my...
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I ate a cookie! Not a box of cookies, a pint of ice cream, some laxatives and some diet pills-- just a cookie! And I didn't starve myself to "earn" it, either. I wanted one cookie. I ate one cookie. This is amazing to me. I'm really, really proud.

I made the mistake of looking at old pictures. Even though I was unhealthy, I wish I was still that skinny.