I feel so uninspired. Like the endless days of mindless work and uncreative bullshit has caused the creative part of my brain to melt. I need to be rescued, I need something to be passionate about. I need something I can't put my finger on.
I started watching "the Secret" last night. Of course because I was watching it from my bed I got through... Read More
I am starting to feel like there is no one in the world that understands me. Ok so maybe I am high mantainence, self centered at times and its always about me. I am so frustrated and the one person in my life who is supposed to support me unconditionally just doesn't fucking GET... Read More
I feel like everything goes in cycles... Good, bad, up, down. I feel like the only way to really break that cycle is to put everything that you have into spreading positive energy-- towards yourself and everybody else-- and eventually, it will come back to you on the flip side.
Post Secret always makes me cry... We are all the same, in so many ways. Everyone who sends in a secret feels so alone... What if we didn't have to keep those secrets, and instead we could find acceptance?
I took my eldest back to school shopping and it dawned on me that I am going to totally have to get a higher paying job to do this every year. My kids are only getting older and they are no longer satisfied with cutesy clothes from the "children's Place" to which I have done all my shopping until now. Its west 49 and boathouse... Read More
Going to Niagara today. Ok so its not the hottest place on earth but its away from here and thats all that matters. Gonna take lots of pictures, gamble, drink and be merry. See you all when I get back.
You know I think it's time for Niagara to lose it's family image. Whenever I go there is mucho drinking and good times. They have a haunted house there that I loved......I think.....I was pretty drunk at the time. Have a great time and put a coin in video poker for me, that shit won me $2000 in a weekend.
Things are getting better today. I thoughts are starting to go away..of course until the next time he emails or texts but I will cross that bridge when I get to it.
Had amazing sex last night.
Today worked 10 hours and came home to 2 of my kids barfing. It was a flu pandemic at daycare apparently. I am saddened to know that inevitabley... Read More
Don't patronize I realize I'm losing and this is my real life
I'm half asleep and I'm wide-awake this habit is always so hard to break
I don't want to be the bad guy
I've been blaming myself and I think you know why
I'm killing time
And time's killing you
Every way that I do
Did you say, please just follow me
I thought... Read More
Do you ever wonder about things that make no sense? Like why people do the things they do and what it all means. I am wondering in the words of Jack Nicholson "is this as good as it gets?"
Life sucks, Life is random
it makes you smile
but more often it makes you cry
tears of sadness or happiness
they dont matter
why they... Read More
I am supposed to be listing crap on EBAy. I would much rather be on here with you..
I am going to see Nickelback on sunday. Not that I am a huge fan of them, but I am a huge fan of live concerts where you get totally hammered and see guys with mullets and stuff.
I just got an email confirming I am... Read More
Back to work today. Very bad... anxiety everywhere... no ativan..... moments of crying spells and hopelessness.
In other news have I mentioned I am getting a hard on lately for country music, like the shit my parents listened to?
I also meditate.