kronos

yeah, still a bit shocked, but i saved the date.

and then stick their body parts in the oven.
IN THE OVEN?!
in... the oven.
THE. oven?
OMGWTFINTHEOVEN.
in the oven.
what the fuck, bitch.

Happy birthday.

well the odds are on your side. pap smears come back abnormal all the time. so many abnormal tests in a row is a little disconcerting but just keep your chin up and you'll be just fine.

also, i'm between two different apartments at the moment and i'll have a decision by thursday and be moved in by monday. but one is about a five minute drive to your house and the other is a five minute walk. i'll definitely be close if you need me. :]]

positive thinking will get you everywhere. even if you do have something wrong [which we're not even gonna think about!] then we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. but you're just going to make yourself sick with worry in the meantime, so refuckinglax lady! i'm not going anywhere except closer to you so i've got your back. :]]

and since i'm so shitty with names i had to ask greg where i'm looking at apartments. there's the 1801 complex over on creason and the hillside complex by the new walmart. i have an appointment to go see the greenhaven complex on thursday but with my awful sense of direction i wouldn't wanna live there. i got lost just trying to find it again like a few hours after i went back there the first time. o.o so fuck that. but either way i'm going to be super close! you can come over and watch movies on the bigscreen tv and eat all my food! yaaaaay!

I MEANT UPDATE SOMETHING INTERESTING JEEZ.

yay no more j roc! and i'm really tempted to make a stupid reflexes joke [after his dick!] but i'll refrain. ^.^

oh! i'm moving into an apartment sometime this week! hopefully here in the next two days but things are STILL up in the air, booooo. i'll be really close to campus and really close to you! ultra hooray! and since it might take a while before i have internet and cable [it's a sudden move so daddy's paying for everything on credit cards, that i have to have immediately] then i might invite you and the kids over for sleepovers where we rent spongebob movies and eat stir fried veggies and rice, for a couple of nights. hopefully greg won't be working like a maniac but i'm sure he will since rent's due in like two weeks and chicago's just the week after that. hurm.

and because i did it last year, i plan on renewing your sg subscription again this year. i think that's what i'm going to do for your birthday every year haha. i'm buying subscriptions up at chicago [august 6-9] so it'll be a tad bit late and there'll be like a week where your subscription lapses and you won't be able to log on but better late than never. i was planning on getting it at sdcc again but plans fell through and we're not going. :[[

gahh i miss you!

it's at the convention center next to the holiday inn, over behind steak and shake. you can call either of us and we'll meet you somewhere close by if you can't find it but you should reeeeeeeaally try to swing by. :]]

BITCH UPDATE YO BLOGGGGG.

you shot the rain off? wha?

i am sick and therefore cranky. i've been laying in bed all day watching the shield because michael chiklis is a fucking BADASS that smashes through walls and shit because why not. i'm waiting on pop to get home with taco bell and emergen-c and life will be swell again, and hopefully i'll be not sick enough tonight to watch venture bros with greg. OH! and we did his hair last night/yesterday! it's no longer all roots and fadey red! you have to come over and see itttttt. because i miss you boobear. :]]

ohhh i read that wrong. sorry. i'm just not all there lately. :[[

call me back soon because i need to lament boring shit to you so you can agree with me and tell me that i keep wasting too much time on loser asshole fuckfaces and i have more self-respect than that. ugh. also tell me to stop leaving the house or answering my phone because wtf people are fucking stupid.

so glad things are settling, for BOTH of us. :]]
i have tons to tell you but it'll have to wait til i go home in a couple days, boyfriend has taken me hostage and is super nosy about who i'm talking to on the phoneeeeeee. boo nosy. but yes. settling. happy. the yeeeeeek kind of happy too. YAY!

i can help you with yo hurr if you tell me what you want it to look like, but i kinda like being twinkies. it just proves that we're more badass than everyone else, jesus shit.

greg just msged me on facebook oh fuck he wants to talk and my neck still looks like fucking lestat bit me goddammit julian why couldn't you have bitten below the neck. at least my back looks better today, but it's still bad. remember when le creature cut lucie's back? like that except from my neck down to my ass. fucking ravaged. also, i ignored chris's friend request. if he wants to ask you what's up with the anal sex, he can grow a fucking pair and JUST ASK YOU instead of playing batman and trying to piece it together.
god people are stupid.

and yeah, i've decided that i'm only going to be nice to the people i care about and everyone else can eat a mudkip dick. i'm sick of the rumors, i'm sick of the shit talking, i'm sick of second guessing everything everyone says because nobody has the decency to say it to my fucking face. what are we, in middle school? grow the fuck up.

i was like five seconds away from commenting "BITCH WHY DON'T YOU EVER UPDATE GODDAMN" but then you fucking beat my ass.

good to know things are getting better. i know for a while everything was just one massive continuous dildo in your butt, so i'm happy to hear that things are settling. i'm still not entirely sure what the fuck is going on over here in my neck of the woods but at least one of us is happy, right? right! hooray! celebratory drinks on me, after i get home from talking to artsy types in north carolina! oh yeah, and i found out a few days ago that i'm making a fake snuff film while i'm out there. i'm not entirely sure how i feel about that yet but i get to wear the mask from scream AND a strap-on so i'm down.
also, the prospect of a video of you hip hop dancing on the internet makes me want to piss my pants laughing.

on my t-shirt quotes list, let's put "life is just one massive continuous dildo in your butt" at the very fucking top.
seriously! why do i say these things!

if you go around snooping on facebook you can probably figure out who he is. i'm not saying you SHOULD, but i mean, if you really WANT to... ;]

i probably have worse videos lurking around the dark corners of the wired. hip hop dancing would be a step up for me. but to start off your viral video career with that, is kind of terrifying.
i also just remembered that we were going to make a video where we made fun of the seriousvagina and his creepy manly girlfriend, but we never did it. it makes me really sad that we never got to do this. let's do this. let's also release pigs into the mall, and solve murders, and all the other ridiculous bullshit we keep talking about doing.

you should've gone to that party, dude... o.o
i only saw like two people i wasn't thrilled to see, but one of them was puking his face off and the other got punched in the fucking mouth so i guess it evened out. even though i bumped into some shitty people from high school and beyond everyone was really chill and not into starting drama, and seriously, it seems like a lot of people finally grew the fuck up. FINALLY.
then there's the part where i now have to get an anullment tomorrow in nashville and one of the dudes i had a crush on in high school, that had such a huge opportunity to be a huge asshole to me, checked in to make sure i was okay and not pissed off at him the day after... but i'm not putting that part on the internet. ahah.
also, i left the house at 10pm saturday night, and got home at like 7pm sunday night. do the math.

it seems like there are some other things i wanted to say but my heart is still all giddy over what happened so i can't focus. just call me sometime tomorrow and i'll regale you with all kinds of sordid stories of what you missed.
hint: it involves dancing, the venture bros, stovetop stuffing, and why i'm on facebook chat right now when i fucking HATE being on facebook chat but if i'm talking to a bff or a nice dude then it's all good and since it's not a bff then ut oh...

fdglnfdhdgkhfkjfndsjhg DUDE!
i'm going to make you learn the lyrics to the song "liquor and whores" so you can sing it with me!
1. because it's the greatest song ever written.
2. because i need to see you again anyway.
3. because i would feel slightly retarded singing it by myself if nobody else knew the words.
4. because the chorus is "liquor and whores, liquor and whores, cigarettes and dope and mustard and bologna and liquor and whooooooooorrres!" hahahahahahahahahaha!

FUCK YES THIS IS MY NEW SUMMER JAM.

i take it that this blog means the block button worked? haha.

and, dude, let's totes be 90s twinkies! remember when twins were called twinkies? or was i the only one that did that? what the hell was wrong with me? was i retarded? i don't remember being retarded. o.o
you better go to the mall pronto and reserve the dress in your size. i heard that they were almost out, and my heart might be broken if we DON'T MATCH OH NOES. seriously. just have the store put it on hold til you get paid sucka.

OMG WAIT WHAT THE HELL SHOES AM I GONNA WEAR WITH THIS DRESS OH MY GOD DUDE WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DO I DO LIFE SUCKS SO BAD.

the more i think about it, the more i'm thinking... navy flip flops?
too bad i hate flip flops.
sigh.
or maybe i'll go barefoot? we'll see.
(just got a pedicure and i'm dying to show it off. plus, i've got the cutest toes ever. soft and pale. mmmm.)

also, i'm lazy. touching up the roots would require bleach, and waiting, and blablablablablablablafuck. it would just be soooo easier to dye the whole thing black and be done with it. plus i'd have to run out and get bleach, and someone would have to help me do the back, and just HASSLE MUCH.
ghod.

you're not on the invite list. get on that shit.

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/event.php?eid=91363263884