kristoph

hhmmmm...
cryptic me eh?
i shouldn't post drunk! bad idea.

this is an official apology to caz for not getting to see her when she came to bristol. i'm bummed that i missed you too hun

you will be nearer soon tho, eh? then the fun can begin!!
WOOOP!!

you know what?
fuck it.

i've sold my soul to the goddamn devil
and you know...

it feels fucking good.

whoo!
at last i get the chance to sit down and update!!
sooooo...
mantra.
it was aces i tells ya!
only got to go for the sunday, but what i grand old time i had.
I travelled to jolly cheltenham with Distorture.
first pleasant surprise was finding out Disco & death_to_ribena were going to be there still..two of my favouritest peoples. (discovered that death...
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so.
i just watched dogville. has to be one of the most thought provoking, intelligent, original films i've seen in a looooong while & i recommend you all go see it...
(while you're doing that, check out the idiots, breaking the waves and dancer in the dark..i dare you to watch "dancer..." without coming away emotionally affected in some way)

then i went and spoiled...
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talked for nearly 3 hours
and you came so close
not close enough

though i wouldn't want it
if you didn't mean it

i was already numb
when you mentioned his name
so i let it slide

like i always do

why can't people just say what they mean?
i thought by this time, by this age, that we could just say things how they are.

i'm tired of guilt trips, half truths and just blatant fucking lies.

as mr Tyler Durden said..."man, just ask!"

you people are right.
i think too much.
it keeps me awake and i so fucking need sleep.
i'm wasting time on wasted time.

i'm plain wasting.

i keep being reminded of those colorado daybreaks.
the strange, comforting winds and those beautiful storms over the industrial plant.

seems like we never stopped driving.
never stopped talking.

and i was so confident then. so easy in my mind and flesh.

i was open. i was living in the eye.
while things fell apart around us we turned up our collars and walked.

we...
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my new t-shirt came in today, all the way from america.
i miss that place. so bad. the dreams still come every night.
it's never goin to get easier is it?

too tired for clever (pretentious) prose tonight.

did anyone else know that daryll from glassjaw has a dance-rock side project with dan the automator?!?! they rule.

did anyone else care?

thought not

why would she tell me these things?
i'll never understand.

i don't want to fall into "a good friend"
although i am. lord knows i am.
she'll never know how i try and look out for her.

i'll always be a laugh

it's always one step closer
and one thousand back

it's always a fleeting glance and a stolen kiss

it's always your amnesia
bringing on my insomnia

it's always that one
step
closer

and that
one
drink
easier

x

(for L)

it's too late
or too early
for this

too predictable
too deja vu

the shirt is faded and shrunken

inside
it's faded and shrunken

i've watched
from that wall
kept guard
kept notes

should've kept my distance