There is no pain, you are receding
A distant ships smoke on the horizon
You are only coming through in waves
Your lips move but I cant hear what youre sayin
When I was a child I had a fever
My hands felt just like two balloons
Now I got that feeling once again
I cant explain, you would not understand
This is not how...
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A distant ships smoke on the horizon
You are only coming through in waves
Your lips move but I cant hear what youre sayin
When I was a child I had a fever
My hands felt just like two balloons
Now I got that feeling once again
I cant explain, you would not understand
This is not how...
Read More
VIEW 19 of 19 COMMENTS
I finally see the light
Down on the east side
Wasted like a memory
If I had a car I'd drive
Straight off the bridge
Into the river, it would empty me
Pretty pictures in a magazine
Everybody is so make believe, it's true
I used to be sad
Now I'm just bored with you
You're doomed to repeat the past
'Cause nothing is gonna...
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Down on the east side
Wasted like a memory
If I had a car I'd drive
Straight off the bridge
Into the river, it would empty me
Pretty pictures in a magazine
Everybody is so make believe, it's true
I used to be sad
Now I'm just bored with you
You're doomed to repeat the past
'Cause nothing is gonna...
Read More
VIEW 19 of 19 COMMENTS
smuffy:
what was your job anyway? 
are you a student too?
are you a student too?
truextilxdeath:
Thats terrible that those things happened to you guys. I'll never get anything from there again. How many people did they have working there? Everyone who works there should totally up and leave. See how they do on their own. There are better jobs then that around town anyways. Don't sweat it.
Brace yourself. This is long.
I think I have exhausted all stages of the grieving process. For those who beared with it, thanks. For those who... didn't bear with it. Um. I don't know. I think I will use this entry as a time to explain and reflect a little since explanations are desired and such.
I am not going to exploit the things that...
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I think I have exhausted all stages of the grieving process. For those who beared with it, thanks. For those who... didn't bear with it. Um. I don't know. I think I will use this entry as a time to explain and reflect a little since explanations are desired and such.
I am not going to exploit the things that...
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VIEW 24 of 24 COMMENTS
sonofmorrissey:
Hey. First off, yes, I am teh suck at checking up on all the journls of my friend's on SG. I tend to get wrapped up in the SGSF group because we're so bloody active so I get 'tunnel vision' with my journal checking. Very sorry. Just move to SF and it won't be a problem, k? 
Now I just read your entry and I must say, you've managed to capture your experiences in a most poigniant(sp?) way. I believe I actually have *some* idea of what you're going through and I think you're handling it all as well as can be expected. I assume you're 19-22-ish and that would explain the guy scenario. Boys ( and I say that specifically ) just don't like confrontation or 'dealing' at that age ( more like that maturity level...the link between age/maturity varies wildly from person to person it seems ) and will tend to prefer a clean, 'no explanation given' break up as it is the easiest on them. Of course, that sucks for the other person and leaves a bunch of unanswered questions. Compund that with this being your first break up and wham!, it's sucksville. I can tell you it stops hurting after a while, and years from now, regardless of the outcome, you'll look back and just kind of shake your head...not in anger or disgust, but in a mildly ammused form of reflection. You'll see.
In the meantime, chin up buttercup. Try and only worry about the things you can control and take the rest as it comes. Family, friends and relationships all have aspects to them that you will never be able to fully exert control over or even fully understand. BUT, with age and experience will come wisdom and the 'tools' to make you better at handling them when things are bad. I hope this all doesn't sound preachy as it's not meant to be at all, nor am I passing judgement on the boy involved. Just my .02.
Now I just read your entry and I must say, you've managed to capture your experiences in a most poigniant(sp?) way. I believe I actually have *some* idea of what you're going through and I think you're handling it all as well as can be expected. I assume you're 19-22-ish and that would explain the guy scenario. Boys ( and I say that specifically ) just don't like confrontation or 'dealing' at that age ( more like that maturity level...the link between age/maturity varies wildly from person to person it seems ) and will tend to prefer a clean, 'no explanation given' break up as it is the easiest on them. Of course, that sucks for the other person and leaves a bunch of unanswered questions. Compund that with this being your first break up and wham!, it's sucksville. I can tell you it stops hurting after a while, and years from now, regardless of the outcome, you'll look back and just kind of shake your head...not in anger or disgust, but in a mildly ammused form of reflection. You'll see.
In the meantime, chin up buttercup. Try and only worry about the things you can control and take the rest as it comes. Family, friends and relationships all have aspects to them that you will never be able to fully exert control over or even fully understand. BUT, with age and experience will come wisdom and the 'tools' to make you better at handling them when things are bad. I hope this all doesn't sound preachy as it's not meant to be at all, nor am I passing judgement on the boy involved. Just my .02.
crushjunkie:
Thank you, you are too kind.
Edited to say: haha, I just read the "chin up, buttercup." (above) That's the cutest/funniest thing I've read all day so I will repeat it: chin up, buttercup. Sound advice. Ttyl.
[Edited on Sep 05, 2004 8:24PM]
Edited to say: haha, I just read the "chin up, buttercup." (above) That's the cutest/funniest thing I've read all day so I will repeat it: chin up, buttercup.
Sound advice. Ttyl.[Edited on Sep 05, 2004 8:24PM]
Sometimes it hurts when you talk but it hurts the most when you say nothing at all. Don't shut me out, cut me off, turn me down. I am still a person and I still have a heart. At the very least I deserve answers. I deserve reasons. I don't deserve this. Please ask me questions and disregard the answers. Corner me in a room...
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VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
dollfacepunk:
thanks...i heart you!
smuffy:
hey what's wrong with you? are you ok?
anyway, I thought your comments in my journal were really funny.
so it looks like you get by making friends with intelligence and humor and I rely on my nickname. we all have our ways I guess.
p.s. thanks. I like your pics too. how long have you been doing photography?
anyway, I thought your comments in my journal were really funny.
so it looks like you get by making friends with intelligence and humor and I rely on my nickname. we all have our ways I guess.
p.s. thanks. I like your pics too. how long have you been doing photography?
Reaching but it's impossible to grasp. I wish you could understand why and how it feels this bad. We no longer make decisions together. You are calling the shots solo. I am sitting and nodding and obeying. I would scream at this point, but I don't have a voice anymore. Please pursue me and then ignore me. Please initiate me and then cease me. And...
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VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
cambria:
my school rocks. there are idiots there but not too many--so i dont want to kill myself very often. its a VERY small private school. about 900-1000 students. last year it was barely 800. it was lovely.
its a VERY small private school. about 900-1000 students. last year it was barely 800. it was lovely.
holy_mountain:
Because vibrators need electricity! Dirty minds think alike hahaha
HeHe No i've never heard that before, thanks!
You're adorable.
HeHe No i've never heard that before, thanks!
You're adorable.
This is what it's like, 3:30 in the afternoon and I'm only just getting out of bed. Cold and wet and naked at the bottom of the tub. Tired. Bleeding. Lonely. Stateless. Ugly.
This is my pain.
This is my pain.
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
hypnogogic:
you worry me.
are you ok?
are those self inflicted wounds?
do i have to come and get you?
do you not want to talk?
what can i do?
big hug?
cocoa?
beer?
vacation?
road trip?
camping?
i am sick to my stomach now...............................
are you ok?
are those self inflicted wounds?
do i have to come and get you?
do you not want to talk?
what can i do?
big hug?
cocoa?
beer?
vacation?
road trip?
camping?
i am sick to my stomach now...............................
hypnogogic:
Hailey wants you to feel better too!!!!!
Hailey wants you to feel better too!!!!!
...
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
extreme:
lovely face you have
gofuserectus:
how can i help? i am here in ohio!
So school starts tomorrow. AHH. Please sever my lifeline. I don't think I'm ready at all. I haven't even given any thought to school this entire week. This morning I woke up and I thought, "today is my last day to sleep in." That's pretty much all I've thought about school-wise. Tonight I need to plan what I'm wearing, what I'm eating for lunch, how...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
longblackbangs:
Oh man, I'm in the same boat with you on the whole school thing. I fully took advantage of the whole last day to sleep in and just got out of bed...what is it 3:45 in the afternoon right now 
You should post the news story in your journal. I'd like to check it out.
You should post the news story in your journal. I'd like to check it out.
burstandbloom:
Do not go gentle into that good night
rage against the school
just have fun with it
you gotta be there make the best of it
thats how i looked at it
im living in New Orleans now
crashing with my uncle
looking (like a mad-man?) for a job
i got a couple good things
so hopefully ill hook something up soon
i know you have some intersting things to say
you write me some good stuff
ill send you good New Orleans stories
deal
deal
see you on the flipside
chiggity check yourself before you wreck yourself
and
word to your moms
rage against the school
just have fun with it
you gotta be there make the best of it
thats how i looked at it
im living in New Orleans now
crashing with my uncle
looking (like a mad-man?) for a job
i got a couple good things
so hopefully ill hook something up soon
i know you have some intersting things to say
you write me some good stuff
ill send you good New Orleans stories
deal
deal
see you on the flipside
chiggity check yourself before you wreck yourself
and
word to your moms
Yeeeee, I'm as happy as can be. I took my permit test today and passed with a 78% and I just drove all the way home from my grandma's farm and did great! Mind you, I've been behind the wheel like three times and the last time was a complete and utter disaster with the mailbox and such. But her farm is out in the...
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VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
econstupidity:
I'm baaaack - I have returned & yes indeed, Homer Simpson is the great philosopher of our time.
congrats on the test completion & good luck on the Ani DiFranco tix
congrats on the test completion & good luck on the Ani DiFranco tix
shayne:
i'm training a brand new kitten right now.. any pointers?
I am not ready for school. No no no no no. I just finished cleaning this cluttered computer desk area... and my bookbag from last year was laying beside the desk... and I cleaned out that and sorted through papers and threw them all away. The good news is I need minimal school supplies, such as pencils, pens, paper, etc. I think I lost my...
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VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
illstabyou:
Great picture !
[Edited on Aug 21, 2004 3:34PM]
[Edited on Aug 21, 2004 3:34PM]
geraldine:
Oooh! So pretty!!! Thank You so much!!
Warped Tour was great! 
Except now I have a sunburn on my face and neck and I don't have any money. But I got to be in the front row to see my Coheed boys, plus I got an autograph from the lead singer of Brazil... he is amazingly gorgeous and so sweet! I loved all the free stickers and pins and such everyone kept...
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Except now I have a sunburn on my face and neck and I don't have any money. But I got to be in the front row to see my Coheed boys, plus I got an autograph from the lead singer of Brazil... he is amazingly gorgeous and so sweet! I loved all the free stickers and pins and such everyone kept... Read More
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
coheed:
i always miss warped tour
johnny_fantastic:
you should've tried Coachella - fucking 105 every day - and not much escape from the sun - but I had such a great time - and got introduced to some really great bands...
[Edited on Aug 20, 2004 2:12AM]
[Edited on Aug 20, 2004 2:12AM]
Hello Apollo, where should I begin?
I need to update my site. I always come here and write and never there and I think it's making certain people sad. What can I say? I am addicted to this site. I come here several times a day. Today I was happily surprised to know that my banners and sticker pic for the SG Army were accepted...
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I need to update my site. I always come here and write and never there and I think it's making certain people sad. What can I say? I am addicted to this site. I come here several times a day. Today I was happily surprised to know that my banners and sticker pic for the SG Army were accepted...
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VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
dollfacepunk:
i actually had fun in driver's ed. we just made perverted gestures behind the teacher in the car..but he didn't notice cause he was old. yeah.
cambria:
seeing your banners really wants me to steal photoshop again. it expired on me so i cant make anything spiffy. could you make me a new avatar from my attic pictues? ♥
What do you think of that modest mouse album ? im loving 'float on' .. I bet its not up to that.
I can't leave, I'm stuck. lol