josephene

Working away, as one does on a Friday night...what social life? What's that you say? No complaints, I do love my job.

In the shadows of decision, one phone call brought to me my strength. Stacey was here last week. I wish for all of you, that one friend, who will fly across the country just to hold your hand as life once again offers...
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I live within the beautiful disaster of my existence. Salvation living within secrets, veiled from the outside world. Striving for palliation, I found my life complacent, when seeing it through your eyes. Through the destruction, I sought you out. You appeared, as if manifesting yourself out of thin air. Believing the unbelievable, your teaching, only visible through the reflection that I'm too scared to see....
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It's been a while...since we've talked. I haven't had much to say. Reality can often times over-shadow everything else.

It's different this time. I see the path much more clearly, with some reorganization ... understanding ... acceptance ... life, under my instruction, will continue.

I'm not meaning to portray the cryptic id, just a predominate voice tonight.

Fall brings the sweet slumber.

Your name lives...
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This has been one of the longest weeks...nothing I want to rehash at this point. The only reason one should look back is to learn, to relive the bad is only a form of self-punishment.

So, looking forward to the weekend, I see facing a HUGE fear of mine, my cousin is in a play...of all plays, it has to be the "Wizard of Oz."...
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It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas...

Let me be the first to wish you a MERRY CHRISTMAS!! by the way, it's okay to think I'm completely crazy now

Yesterday was trying...and after running, biking, and kick boxing (oh my..) my feelings were still ruling my evening. So, I loaded some Christmas music and lost myself in the memory-inducing sounds.

This in itself doesn't...
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In an effort to wash the last two weeks away, tonight I headed out to the lake with friends. And now I'm home. Call it, a desire to keep their great moods in tact.

Over-emotional
Over-stressed
Over-extended

This isn't what I signed up for.

Self-pity leads to self-loathing, which leads to guilt. Others have it far worse than I do and yet I find a...
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Is there such a thing as being "too nice?"

Yesterday, early morning....I'm talking with one of my co-workers about the race last weekend. They bring up the fact that the 500 ratings weren't even comparable to the 600 ratings. I thought for a moment and replied, well, the 500 is blocked from TV 50 miles around Indy to increase track support, maybe that had something...
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..i love where my dreams take me...

The night began as many had. A small gathering of ideas and logic swimming in the sweet molasses. Her eyes scanned the surroundings. The warm night was cooled by the soft breeze across the rhythmic waves down the beach. The sun had disappeared hours ago and the moon discovered its twin, reflecting across the calm distant water.

The...
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I am drained. Physically, mentally, and emotionally...It's been a hell of a weekend. It's been amazingly fulfilling, though. My theories on mankind have been tarnished by the love and pure joy that comes from others when you give them a piece of yourself, expecting nothing in return. People are good, you just have to choose the company you keep very carefully.

Part of my weekend...
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Bruised, sore, and content...

After a shameful defeat in paint-ball yesterday, we went out on the lake. It was just what the doctor ordered...I do have a great group of friends.

My combat skills leave much to be desired, it seems. Instead of shooting the paint-ball gun in my hand, it makes more sense, in my brain anyway, to run at the person and tackle...
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