Ever feel so fat and fucking ugly you just want to die to spare the world the pain of looking at you for one more second?
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Thanks muchly.. you guys make me feel loved. I don't have much else to say, except I took my meds today so I'm tired. I hate myself cause I overdrew on my bank account, so that's money right down the drain. I went to school for 5 hours and then worked for 6.. jittery all the while cause I didn't have time to eat.. and...
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I suppose I should update although I don't really know what to say. Up and down goes my mood. Beginning to think maybe that stupid psychiatrist was right when he said I had the beginning stages of bipolar disorder. I'm not ready to fully admit so yet though, and start going to therapy and taking meds again. I'm trying to be happy on my own...
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aj_paradiselost:
Psychic Vampire!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That thou art. Kick yer sister's ass and Take her room! So anyway babe, sorry I didn't answer the phone the other night. You know I am on fucking third shift so that is why I didn't pick up. Oh by the way, don't ever listen to what mom says. Well they are playing Pat fucking Benatar on VH1 So I'm gonna split. Be good, and get a fucking webcam. YOu know know who loves you .........L8er...........Aj
gamma:
OMG! You have black vinyl boots, too????!!!!
Did you get them from Torrid? I am looking for a pair with heels but I can't find them anywhere and I really don't wanna buy from an online source just in case they don't fit, etc.
Whatever you do, try not to get on those meds! I was on a couple different kinds (for general depression) and they made me more fucked up than when I wasn't on them. I just started being happy on my own.
Too bad I live so far away
or I'd offer you some space in my house so you could get away from your sister 
Did you get them from Torrid? I am looking for a pair with heels but I can't find them anywhere and I really don't wanna buy from an online source just in case they don't fit, etc.
Whatever you do, try not to get on those meds! I was on a couple different kinds (for general depression) and they made me more fucked up than when I wasn't on them. I just started being happy on my own.
Too bad I live so far away
or I'd offer you some space in my house so you could get away from your sister Just remembered that I forgot to update everyone on what I did last weekend cause I've been too excited about Italy and Josh, and such.. anyways Went to the Black Party at Marcella's this weekend with my Crissy and my sister. Just so you know, that's a gay party celebrating the end of summer, aka.. you can't wear white anymore.. so everyone dresses all in...
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jennynicole:
Well.. i tried to fix the pic.. i think its showing up now.. but it only has me and jackie in it.. anyways.. the point was how hideous i'm looking.. so you can still see me.
gamma:
Why do you say you are hideous looking???? I think you are super pretty! 
I love the outfit, too! Where did you get that?
I love the outfit, too! Where did you get that?
OK.. even bigger OMG than SG coming to Buffalo... I might be going to ITALY!!!!!!!!!!!! Old friend from high school lives there now and totaly invited me and Crissy. I am so psyched... I'm like.. savin up starting today! WOOOOOO!!!! ANddddd... i get to see him in about a week cause he's comin to NY to visit.
OMG OMG OMG OMG Suicide GIrls is doing a show in BUFFALO!!!!!
il_palazzo:
Lucky. I wish I could go to a SG show.
(also, I'm missing out on seeing NIN on thier current tour. And they are only my favorite. band. ever.)
(random aside: working in the library qualifies as sexy in my book)
(also, I'm missing out on seeing NIN on thier current tour. And they are only my favorite. band. ever.)
(random aside: working in the library qualifies as sexy in my book)
I think I want to redecorate my entire room.. It depresses me being in there.. and having to share it with my sister... so I just let it get discustingly messy and don't care. I got a few new Marilyn posters though, and Maryilyn deserves the best. lol. Anywho... its morning time and I have homework to finish.. cause that's what I do with long...
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gamma:
Hey! I'm an English major, too! I'm also notorious for writing 10 page papers the night before so I definitely know where you are coming from! How is school so far?
I honestly think that Crissy and I are completely fine about the threesome. We still love each other, we still want each other, Friday was just a night of fun.. something we've both fantasized about and it came true. I wish everyone didn't have such a negative outlook on the effects of a threesome on a relationship. I'm perfectly secure in my relationship with her...
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gamma:
I really wasn't trying to sound negative about the 3some thing. I mean I think it's really cool that you had one...I guess I don't have the balls to have one. Plus I'm waaaaay to much of a jealous person to let anyone get that close to my man.
I can't believe you are back to school already...isn't that really early? Good luck sweetie I hope you cheer up!
I can't believe you are back to school already...isn't that really early? Good luck sweetie I hope you cheer up!
Two girls and a guy.. and I totally loved it. Everyone involved totally loved it. It still seems so unreal to me, like I can't believe I actually did something that freakish. I'm glad I did it though, so much fun, and Crissy and I are both fine about it. We're great. No worries between us. I think that is all for now.... I'll update...
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spellbinder:
i've never been wild about threesomes, myself. But at least you enjoyed it. Kudos!
gamma:
Wow! I hope that everything really is fine between you and Crissy...Those things tend to put such a strain on a relationship even after the fact.
But I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it
But I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it
... I'm being stupid and just really depressed about not living on campus this year. I wouldn't have any friends to live with on campus anyways.. so its pointless. I need to get drunk. I think I might be having a threesome tomorrow, but I don't even care anymore. I just want to get drunk and fall asleep. I want to be drunk and fall...
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gamma:
A threesome, eh? Two girls and a guy, three girls or two guys and a girl? Yes, I'm nosey
So where do you go to school? I'd have to agree with AJ that it's much cheaper to live at home although you have to put up with a lot of shit usually. I feel for ya hun, although I definitely would NOT want to live at my school...just the riots alone would piss me off
Hope everything gets better for you
So where do you go to school? I'd have to agree with AJ that it's much cheaper to live at home although you have to put up with a lot of shit usually. I feel for ya hun, although I definitely would NOT want to live at my school...just the riots alone would piss me off
Hope everything gets better for you
aj_paradiselost:
So did you do the threesome thing or not babe? Lemme know something......little freak.......ha ha ha. You know who luvs ya..........L8er.......Aj
So... apparently I've been too lazy to update lately. Anyways.. don't think people read it much. Well.. things are ok. I think after nine months things are finally leveling out. Super depressed and then super happy.. and now maybe i'm just in the middle. I really don't know, and I try not to think about it too much. I try to just live life, do...
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gamma:
Hey I read your posts!
I thought for a really long time that I was just really depressed but then I realized that I am an extreme introvert and would rather be by myself than constantly trying to please others. I know what you mean when you say people get "edgy/sad/worried/aggrivated/annoyed" yet notice how everyone else expects you to listen to their crappy problems. None of my friends like to share the spotlight so I just stopped bothering....I have more important things to worry about anyway, namely making myself happy
I thought for a really long time that I was just really depressed but then I realized that I am an extreme introvert and would rather be by myself than constantly trying to please others. I know what you mean when you say people get "edgy/sad/worried/aggrivated/annoyed" yet notice how everyone else expects you to listen to their crappy problems. None of my friends like to share the spotlight so I just stopped bothering....I have more important things to worry about anyway, namely making myself happy
il_palazzo:
*hugs*
Sorry its been so long since I've updated. Life remains pretty boring. I am going to a Green Day concert on Saturday though, and I'm really psyched about it. I'm actually going too, lol. The tickets are on my refrigerator and my baby and I both have the day off so we can go. Cause yea... I'm a loser that likes to do stuff with...
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gamma:
I would LOVE to be able to refinish my own furniture! Is it really easy? I have like 80,000 projects started at once so why not take on another one
I'm sure you are gonna have a blast at the Green Day show!
I'm sure you are gonna have a blast at the Green Day show!
aj_paradiselost:
OOOOOOOoooo, I think your art teacher wants to nail you babe. Now c'mon you can't tell me you didn't know a remark like that wasn't going to come from me. Anyway Green day eh? Ummm, well, ummmm, yeah....have a ummm, good time. I hope they fucking ROCK......long live Punk, who needs Sex Pistols, The Ramones, and shit when we have Green Day......ha ha ha. I'm just busting your balls babe. If i don't do that then I think you would just be fucking disappointed. Its really tough when you are expected to be the asshole, no shit. Anyway babe, I'll talk to you L8er.........AJ
Who are you trying to feed off of tonight babe? Who is being drained now? Unreal, I dig you doll but you need to leave that young chick Cancer bullshit behind.........L8er..........Aj
I hope everything is ok with you...you've been gone for a while...