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Well, we are in the process of packing up half the house now...it's funny because Vanny hasn't gotten any confirmation on a job and yet here we are...getting ready to move the hell out of here! lol I have decided I don't care where we move..just as long as we do it! We need more room damn it! We have WAY outgrown this house! Vanny and some other guy I've never seen before in my life are in there ripping up the carpet and linoleum right now...we've decided to acid stain the concrete throughout most of the house. Apparently that is the thing nowadays so we thought it would make the house a little more marketable...raise it's value a bit...plus the carpet looks like hell!..three kids you know..then we have to re-paint the kids' bedrooms...they aren't neutral enough for interested buyers and such...and I have learned my lesson on that one...I spent hours and hours and HOURS painting those rooms...and now I have to spend even MORE hours covering it all up with Kilz and more paint and...it's a pain in the ass! Not to mention the two places where my lovely step daughter dropped the paint brush on the carpet...black paint...on tan carpet..sigh..the whole room was covered in drop cloth and she managed to find the two places they weren't covered well and dropped the brush there...oh the irony! lol

I am seriously considering (if we move to Baton Rouge that is) going to the LSU School of Music...I keep coming back to music..it's my only true passion...it's my life...but this damn performance anxiety...I mean, I don't shake..I convulse! lol I laugh and yet it's horrible! And I know the only way to overcome it is to just get up there and do it...over and over and over again until I realize I'm not going to die if I'm not perfect...but you know...realizing that and actually DOING that are two totally and completely different animals...I need therapy...seriously..I've been meaning to call and set up an appointment..but I'm in one of my anti-phone episodes and just can't bring myself to call the dr. Therapy and voice lessons to slowly wade back into the waters of performance...I haven't been on stage since I was in high school...well...since I was in my mid twenties anyway...I haven't sang in front of an audience in probably 6 years...well, unless you count that one night I got super sloshed and did karaoke in front of a bunch of drunk red necks! LOL The auditions are in February and March of 2007 for the fall of 2007....that's 8 or 9 months away...and I'm nervous just thinking about it! I have GOT to get a grip! I have plenty of time to prepare..get my vocal cords back into shape...we have to audition with classical style music...I haven't sang anything classical since I was 20 or something crazy like that! lol I know that I will never stick with any field of study until I change it to music...I guess I was just kind of hoping I could get around it...but alas...it's either give it a shot, or live the rest of my life in regret, wondering what would have happened if I had....