i have a very long list of names for the babys.... i have no idea what to name them and they will be here tuesday..!
um... spending time by myself... cleaning, preparing, .. all though i dont think i can do much more now.
im bored and im off work tomorrow so im going to try to get up at a good time so i...
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um... spending time by myself... cleaning, preparing, .. all though i dont think i can do much more now.
im bored and im off work tomorrow so im going to try to get up at a good time so i...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
its 10 on a wednesday evening.. im eating pasta i made last night and having a glass of water.
i put together the glider cage last night. its huge. ....i got new furniture. i love it.. its cherry or mohogany...its very 50's looking.
we were busy at work today.. 2 nape piercings in one night.. people are getting ballsy now....well more people.
um.. ive been...
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i put together the glider cage last night. its huge. ....i got new furniture. i love it.. its cherry or mohogany...its very 50's looking.
we were busy at work today.. 2 nape piercings in one night.. people are getting ballsy now....well more people.
um.. ive been...
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paradogmatic:
I haven't really nested yet even though I'm in my new place.. its remained sort of in a flux.
Shortly though, as I have a week off next week to contemplate all that needs to be done....
I haven't really nested yet even though I'm in my new place.. its remained sort of in a flux.
Shortly though, as I have a week off next week to contemplate all that needs to be done....
burialrabbits:
Whered that doctor go? he mumbled. Amidst an otherwise dead silence, his voice rang loud in the stone hall at the brighter end of the cafeteria hall, far off from the people whod already secured their meals and who were sitting down at the tables in small groups of two or three apiece, without any words being exchanged between soft, silent bites of sandwiches or lifeless sips from soup spoons.
Everyone in the dining hall looked blank and lifeless, unable to find their focus. Hospitals are cold places.
In this silence the mans voice bounced off undecorated white-painted stone walls, making perspiring soda machines hum louder to catch up to the useless calamity that interrupted everything that wasnt happening. He looked over toward a woman small hobbling with great effort across the sparkling white floor to a salad bar close to the registers and he called to her.
Is the doctor dead?
But the woman didnt answer him. She didnt even seem to hear, though a few of the people from the dining hall looked up from their cold soup bowls and gave him the once over before lifting spoons up to their lips again. Fluorescent lights over the table were so bright he could see glares fragmenting off spoon handles.
He couldnt move his arms.
Or what passed for arms, after surgery.
Just then, a nurse with strawberry colored hair wearing a familiar peculiar smile on her face stood in front of him and offered her hand, palm down; not quite a handshake but not quite dissimilar. Her skin was cold but soft, and she smelled like flowers.
In a practiced but charmingly songlike voice, she asked him, Would you like some help seeing you to an available table in the dining room, Mr. Kaye?
No, he answered abruptly, unsure, his voice raspy but not lost. Then, I dont think I can eat right now, actually.
Of course, Mr. Kaye, thats understandable. She smiled a perfectly considerate smile, bright white teeth and red lips, and a friendly nod.
Soothing classical violin music whispered across the cold cafeteria from overhead speakers in the ceiling distributed all throughout the room.
My name is Helen, as it were. Everyone calls me Nurse Helen. You do remember me, dont you, Mr. Kaye?
Of course he did. Hed been administered the proper amounts of anesthetics as the room had filled up with doctors in blue, and the brilliant overhead fluorescents blinked on in patches up above him, flooding his vision with white. But before he was drowned out, drifting off into a painless nap the medicine urged on to ease his body into quiet submission before the operation had begun, hed been introduced to Nurse Helen by one of the friendlier doctors. Shed smiled so reassuringly, said hello and put her face mask on over the studied bun of her hair, nestling over her nose and mouth like a bubble. He knew she was still smiling under the surgical mask because of the way her eyes had squinted as she tilted her head just a bit in his direction.
This was that nurse, whod been there for him.
How are your arms feeling this morning, Mr. Kaye?
Dazed, slow, not wanting to look down at his strange-fitting arms, he sighed. The way she said his name sounded harsh in the emptiness of sound around them, as though he were trapped somewhere. Please, he said. Please call me Alan.
With a hand on his shoulder, warm and friendly, she smiled again, and it was a nice smile, though she wouldnt touch the end of his shoulder or look down at his arms.
He did, though.
Alan looked down at his arms.
The doctor had removed the unsalvageable remains of the grasping limbs hed grown and lived 38 years with, taking them each off at the shoulder, and theyd been replaced with octopus tentacles.
He tried as best he could, but could not get these new limbsthe tentaclesto move. Searching through memory for the nerves in his arms, for any sort of feeling that was like fingers, or a hand; to his horror the shriveling circle suction cups near the curling tips of the tentacles flared and contracted.
Alan winced.
Nurse Helen squeezed his shoulder a little tighter, reassuringly. It may take some time, Mr. Kayesorry . . . Alanbut before long, youll find movement to return to you at a natural, productive rate. Well be here for you while and until you fully rehabilitate the use of muscle movement, so whenever you need me, just call my name.
She glanced fleetingly down to the soft gray tentacles dangling lifelessly from the sleeves of his spotted gray hospital gown, then looked back into his eyes, with a wide, close-mouthed smile hung over her face that was both friendly and reassuring as well as trustworthy. But she looked a bit worried somewhere behind all that surety; a glossy forefront of a look that promises but doesnt quite physically come through in the end.
However, its very important that we keep them wet, Alan. Perhaps we should go back to the emergency room now and have the doctor submerse them in water while we wait for your appetite to return. She started to lead the way out of the cafeteria, offering her hand again, ahead of them, for him to make the first step.
He nodded, slowly, looking off toward a few dozen people with their heads down who were eating lunch at the tables in the dining room, with their fingers curled around the handles of cold coffee cups, lifting steamless black drinks to their lips, cutting small bits of food with forks and knives, stirring cold soup.
Okay, Nurse Helen, Alan breathed very quietly, still watching the people in the dining hall, who all had their heads down, probably thinking about their various somebodies up above in one of the many cold hospital rooms, hooked to machines, heart rates shifting throughout the day and night.
He tried to move the tentacles around again. All he got were more flared suction cups.
Everyone in the dining hall looked blank and lifeless, unable to find their focus. Hospitals are cold places.
In this silence the mans voice bounced off undecorated white-painted stone walls, making perspiring soda machines hum louder to catch up to the useless calamity that interrupted everything that wasnt happening. He looked over toward a woman small hobbling with great effort across the sparkling white floor to a salad bar close to the registers and he called to her.
Is the doctor dead?
But the woman didnt answer him. She didnt even seem to hear, though a few of the people from the dining hall looked up from their cold soup bowls and gave him the once over before lifting spoons up to their lips again. Fluorescent lights over the table were so bright he could see glares fragmenting off spoon handles.
He couldnt move his arms.
Or what passed for arms, after surgery.
Just then, a nurse with strawberry colored hair wearing a familiar peculiar smile on her face stood in front of him and offered her hand, palm down; not quite a handshake but not quite dissimilar. Her skin was cold but soft, and she smelled like flowers.
In a practiced but charmingly songlike voice, she asked him, Would you like some help seeing you to an available table in the dining room, Mr. Kaye?
No, he answered abruptly, unsure, his voice raspy but not lost. Then, I dont think I can eat right now, actually.
Of course, Mr. Kaye, thats understandable. She smiled a perfectly considerate smile, bright white teeth and red lips, and a friendly nod.
Soothing classical violin music whispered across the cold cafeteria from overhead speakers in the ceiling distributed all throughout the room.
My name is Helen, as it were. Everyone calls me Nurse Helen. You do remember me, dont you, Mr. Kaye?
Of course he did. Hed been administered the proper amounts of anesthetics as the room had filled up with doctors in blue, and the brilliant overhead fluorescents blinked on in patches up above him, flooding his vision with white. But before he was drowned out, drifting off into a painless nap the medicine urged on to ease his body into quiet submission before the operation had begun, hed been introduced to Nurse Helen by one of the friendlier doctors. Shed smiled so reassuringly, said hello and put her face mask on over the studied bun of her hair, nestling over her nose and mouth like a bubble. He knew she was still smiling under the surgical mask because of the way her eyes had squinted as she tilted her head just a bit in his direction.
This was that nurse, whod been there for him.
How are your arms feeling this morning, Mr. Kaye?
Dazed, slow, not wanting to look down at his strange-fitting arms, he sighed. The way she said his name sounded harsh in the emptiness of sound around them, as though he were trapped somewhere. Please, he said. Please call me Alan.
With a hand on his shoulder, warm and friendly, she smiled again, and it was a nice smile, though she wouldnt touch the end of his shoulder or look down at his arms.
He did, though.
Alan looked down at his arms.
The doctor had removed the unsalvageable remains of the grasping limbs hed grown and lived 38 years with, taking them each off at the shoulder, and theyd been replaced with octopus tentacles.
He tried as best he could, but could not get these new limbsthe tentaclesto move. Searching through memory for the nerves in his arms, for any sort of feeling that was like fingers, or a hand; to his horror the shriveling circle suction cups near the curling tips of the tentacles flared and contracted.
Alan winced.
Nurse Helen squeezed his shoulder a little tighter, reassuringly. It may take some time, Mr. Kayesorry . . . Alanbut before long, youll find movement to return to you at a natural, productive rate. Well be here for you while and until you fully rehabilitate the use of muscle movement, so whenever you need me, just call my name.
She glanced fleetingly down to the soft gray tentacles dangling lifelessly from the sleeves of his spotted gray hospital gown, then looked back into his eyes, with a wide, close-mouthed smile hung over her face that was both friendly and reassuring as well as trustworthy. But she looked a bit worried somewhere behind all that surety; a glossy forefront of a look that promises but doesnt quite physically come through in the end.
However, its very important that we keep them wet, Alan. Perhaps we should go back to the emergency room now and have the doctor submerse them in water while we wait for your appetite to return. She started to lead the way out of the cafeteria, offering her hand again, ahead of them, for him to make the first step.
He nodded, slowly, looking off toward a few dozen people with their heads down who were eating lunch at the tables in the dining room, with their fingers curled around the handles of cold coffee cups, lifting steamless black drinks to their lips, cutting small bits of food with forks and knives, stirring cold soup.
Okay, Nurse Helen, Alan breathed very quietly, still watching the people in the dining hall, who all had their heads down, probably thinking about their various somebodies up above in one of the many cold hospital rooms, hooked to machines, heart rates shifting throughout the day and night.
He tried to move the tentacles around again. All he got were more flared suction cups.
I walked inside today and was overcome by this feeling of loneliness.
I hate that.
I had dreams again last night...about the happy couple. I woke up annoyed and feeling a little angry.
The rest of the day seemed to follow in this same pattern.
Spilled coffee on my hand.
Got stuck behind slow drivers.
Dropped a bunch of junk at work.
The shop was...
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I hate that.
I had dreams again last night...about the happy couple. I woke up annoyed and feeling a little angry.
The rest of the day seemed to follow in this same pattern.
Spilled coffee on my hand.
Got stuck behind slow drivers.
Dropped a bunch of junk at work.
The shop was...
Read More
paradogmatic:
Well - all of that is a double edged sword - its good to hold onto some things as a reminder of good things and also perhaps mistakes one should avoid again. When I moved I found many things I'd forgotten about, some of which I just got rid of but a few I still couldn't bring myself to be rid of.
The strangest item I have is basically one of those signs they put on top of a for-sale sign to say its 'Sold' .. there's a long story behind this and I think I'll inflict it upon you
On the night of my high-school graduation dance / dinner ( a 'couple' years ago ), I ended up meeting for the first time this girl, who was the 'date' of a friend of mine. As the night progressed, her and I gravitated towards talking the most and the others were less and less involved.
Upon being tossed out of the house where we were having the after party party, the plan became that the majority of the senior class was to walk all the way to the top of the Mountain here in Montreal and meet up there.
So Siobhan, myself and her date Brendon and another friend of mine Sasha all head off. This was an early spring night, about 2 am, so things had gotten somewhat chilly - we stopped off at my house which was in walking distance for some extra sweaters etc and then started making our way through our neighbourhood. As we wandered up one street, Siobhan and I got the idea that it would be particularly fun to steal Vendu ( Sold ) signs because then people would start getting calls about their houses again - admittedly sort of funny even now, and relatively harmless.
We never made it to the Mountain that night, instead ending up on the forested lawn of Siobhan's school - a private school along the way to the mountain. And here's the funny part - that point is the first time in my life I really ever fell in love with someone. We were both sitting in the misty night, leaning up against the trees. The others were there ( At this point it had been discovered that Brendon and her were simply friends and not dating ).
And so the tragedy of this all strikes - looking back on it now a bit more wise, I realise that we both felt similarly - in at least that there was attraction. We were sitting there, in the quiet night ( the other two had just disappeared ) and it was the time to kiss her - but me being so unaware, I didn't quite catch on .. and soon enough that 'moment' was gone. But wait - it gets worse
I was so paranoid later that week that Brendon would freak out, that it took me nearly the whole week to simply get the courage to get her number from him. And even then, I couldn't pick up the phone ..
And the poignant reminder ? Well here's the thing.. I didn't keep a sign that night - so its not a sign from that night that I have .. its the sign she left on my porch one day with a note written to me in lip-liner stick saying to the effect, "Hi - was in the neigbourhood and I thought I'd let you know I was here.."
Afterwards, I tried to get into contact with her ( much later ) -- but I never actually saw her again ..
So - what does the sign remind me to do? To not be so afraid of things, as you may very well let something good just slip away through inaction ...
Anyhow - now I've spammed you enough Guess I'm just trying to say don't be rid of everything simply because there may be some pain attached.. reminders are good for you in moderation.
Well - all of that is a double edged sword - its good to hold onto some things as a reminder of good things and also perhaps mistakes one should avoid again. When I moved I found many things I'd forgotten about, some of which I just got rid of but a few I still couldn't bring myself to be rid of.
The strangest item I have is basically one of those signs they put on top of a for-sale sign to say its 'Sold' .. there's a long story behind this and I think I'll inflict it upon you
On the night of my high-school graduation dance / dinner ( a 'couple' years ago ), I ended up meeting for the first time this girl, who was the 'date' of a friend of mine. As the night progressed, her and I gravitated towards talking the most and the others were less and less involved.
Upon being tossed out of the house where we were having the after party party, the plan became that the majority of the senior class was to walk all the way to the top of the Mountain here in Montreal and meet up there.
So Siobhan, myself and her date Brendon and another friend of mine Sasha all head off. This was an early spring night, about 2 am, so things had gotten somewhat chilly - we stopped off at my house which was in walking distance for some extra sweaters etc and then started making our way through our neighbourhood. As we wandered up one street, Siobhan and I got the idea that it would be particularly fun to steal Vendu ( Sold ) signs because then people would start getting calls about their houses again - admittedly sort of funny even now, and relatively harmless.
We never made it to the Mountain that night, instead ending up on the forested lawn of Siobhan's school - a private school along the way to the mountain. And here's the funny part - that point is the first time in my life I really ever fell in love with someone. We were both sitting in the misty night, leaning up against the trees. The others were there ( At this point it had been discovered that Brendon and her were simply friends and not dating ).
And so the tragedy of this all strikes - looking back on it now a bit more wise, I realise that we both felt similarly - in at least that there was attraction. We were sitting there, in the quiet night ( the other two had just disappeared ) and it was the time to kiss her - but me being so unaware, I didn't quite catch on .. and soon enough that 'moment' was gone. But wait - it gets worse
I was so paranoid later that week that Brendon would freak out, that it took me nearly the whole week to simply get the courage to get her number from him. And even then, I couldn't pick up the phone ..
And the poignant reminder ? Well here's the thing.. I didn't keep a sign that night - so its not a sign from that night that I have .. its the sign she left on my porch one day with a note written to me in lip-liner stick saying to the effect, "Hi - was in the neigbourhood and I thought I'd let you know I was here.."
Afterwards, I tried to get into contact with her ( much later ) -- but I never actually saw her again ..
So - what does the sign remind me to do? To not be so afraid of things, as you may very well let something good just slip away through inaction ...
Anyhow - now I've spammed you enough
Guess I'm just trying to say don't be rid of everything simply because there may be some pain attached.. reminders are good for you in moderation.
paradogmatic:
Well ... then we each are on the other side of the coin ..
Heh - man I hope I didn't get you down that much with my story .. just felt like an apt time to let it out
Well ... then we each are on the other side of the coin ..
Heh - man I hope I didn't get you down that much with my story .. just felt like an apt time to let it out
bahhh....bored at work.
did squat last night.... cleaned out my dresser so i can give it to the chick downstairs. im getting new/old ones from
so i ordered my cage for my sugar gliders... it should be here to set up in the next few days.
um.. didnt get the house.. they countered with the same price so since there not willing to work with...
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did squat last night.... cleaned out my dresser so i can give it to the chick downstairs. im getting new/old ones from
so i ordered my cage for my sugar gliders... it should be here to set up in the next few days.
um.. didnt get the house.. they countered with the same price so since there not willing to work with...
Read More
paradogmatic:
I must've missed something.. what's a sugar glider?
grr.... its 2:22 at night.. im annoyed. i dont feel like ranting about it because .. well im trying to not do that. im trying to not spread garbage like everyone else.
im trying...
so hard damnit..
just give me some credit.
let me know im doing okay!
okay
im okay.
im trying...
so hard damnit..
just give me some credit.
let me know im doing okay!
okay
im okay.
fragile21:
You're doing better than ok! Maybe after some good sleep things will be better. 
well its monday again... thank god were starting off our week with Benni who is looking as hot as ever!
god i wish i could go to the SG sanctuary and just live with all the hot ladies. there all so stunning.
in other news... were makin an offer on the house today... i have to go read the contracts and sign some stuff. im...
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god i wish i could go to the SG sanctuary and just live with all the hot ladies. there all so stunning.
in other news... were makin an offer on the house today... i have to go read the contracts and sign some stuff. im...
Read More
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
micah:
Damn... I second the Pyrate: Those lip piercings are some hotness 
monica:
www.explodingdog.com
lazy sunday afternoon.....
went to see the house again.. were making an offer in a bit.
um... anyway.. life is boring.
went to see the house again.. were making an offer in a bit.
um... anyway.. life is boring.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
pyrate:
My arm is so so sore, This is the worst part about getting a tattoo 
cc_baxter:
carnie's are untrustworthy trolls beware!
when things get bad... and you think they cant get worse.... they do... its murphys law. live, accept this, adapt, and move on.
on that note. i have to clean my place. its not up to standard.
on that note. i have to clean my place. its not up to standard.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
ayres:
Thank you Too classic... Gotta do a new one... looking for something original!
Too classic... Gotta do a new one... looking for something original!
cc_baxter:
are you complaining again. i don't mean to be rude but i've been complaining far longer than you about the state of my life and i think i have copyright privileges here.
oh yeah and here's a couple of these cause i haven't been aroung and must owe you a few by now.
oh yeah and here's a couple of these cause i haven't been aroung and must owe you a few by now.
work was better yesterday... i dunno why but i was having a rough day the other day.
victoria and i went to daniels pub last night. it was awesome, we just talked until like 12:30 when cannon called hehe we were out later than the boys.
she is so smart and gives very good advice/life lessons.
mmmm toast.....
so as far as the house is...
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victoria and i went to daniels pub last night. it was awesome, we just talked until like 12:30 when cannon called hehe we were out later than the boys.
she is so smart and gives very good advice/life lessons.
mmmm toast.....
so as far as the house is...
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punknitemike:
i wish i could move into that house, sounds really nice!
sweet mother of god the set today kicks ass..... someone take me hostage.
um... in other news.. ya know how i've been wanting a pet squirrel?! yeah well i woke up this morning to one rummaging through my kitchen! i aws a little flipped out but it was fun.. he scurried right now when he saw me hehe...
cute..
hm... sets like the set today...
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um... in other news.. ya know how i've been wanting a pet squirrel?! yeah well i woke up this morning to one rummaging through my kitchen! i aws a little flipped out but it was fun.. he scurried right now when he saw me hehe...
cute..
hm... sets like the set today...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
moralitydies:
a buddy of mine had a cat that ran away from home, and then came back 7 years later missing a leg and an eye. true story.
benni is the coolest. she's even cooler than pictures of me in public restrooms, and thats pretty damn cool.
benni is the coolest. she's even cooler than pictures of me in public restrooms, and thats pretty damn cool.
fragile21:
that set is really fucking hot!!! alright...you asked for it. I got some rope. lol.
I miss my cat. He was hit by a car too. He was the coolest cat in the world.
I miss my cat. He was hit by a car too. He was the coolest cat in the world.
so the house is wonderful outside and in... as part of the closing (assuming the inspection goes perfectly) they are fininshing installing the AC, and repaving the drive way so it will have off street parking.
now just to make sure its stable etc...
and to get rid of the squirrles... i do want pets of them but i dont want them living in my...
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now just to make sure its stable etc...
and to get rid of the squirrles... i do want pets of them but i dont want them living in my...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
paradogmatic:
That's awesome man that's great news .. I'd love to hit on a sweet deal like that
man that's great news .. I'd love to hit on a sweet deal like that
pyrate:
What the hell, did i miss something? you're getting a house?
So i'm very excited! The kid called Lisa again =) they are going to be so flippin cute together! and their piercings on their mouths wont get in the way... aww.. ehahah its kinda funny cause now that I've hung out with this kid for like 35 or so minutes i think they really will get along...i hope it works out.
well i was going...
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well i was going...
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punknitemike:
stirfry has a pink house, it has pink carpet & everything.
paradogmatic:
Sweet ass looking place - man I wanna get my butt into something I own already instead of rent, and I just moved lol...
i want to seem me some of those adorable moppets.