gamma

you can call it room mates. i like to refer to it as living in sin.

i don't think we lost power last week. (i was actually at TK's that night) but i do know that a big tree branch missed my truck by only a few feet. and if my bike was home the stockade fence in my back yard would have been lying on in. so i lucked out. no damage.

If you could imagine the possibility.. being in Europe made me even worse. And.. since the expectations were so high that I would be having the most wonderful time in my life.. I dunno.. I think I've honestly started to crack. I don't know if it truly is possible for me to hold it together anymore. I don't even want to put the effort in to talk to people anymore. I don't wanna rehash the stupid things that make me miserable, that I know shouldn't make me miserable. I know that all of this misery is inside my head, I've made it up. Yet knowing that isn't enough to make it go away. So.. I sit here and allow myself to be eaten alive by the knowledge of my depression being my fault. I don't know where to go from here.

I actually haven't moved yet and we aren't going to be for awhile... I'm going to update later with why. I had put it up in my livejournal but I will need to edit it a bit to put it up tonight.

We are going to be moving possibly in the spring. We are going to pay $300 a month to stay at Justin's mom's house until our friend Tom buys the house.

I may have found a car, not sure. oy im tired right now, stayed up all n ight to take this drug test, took it, got home and passed out, its 6pm .. *groan* *passes back out*

FIRST of all, it is a little known fact that the female species can be mesmerized by the sight of the male species twirling things. That's why they don't allow boys to become majorettes. It would be anarchy!!

My list of past "bizarre" psuedo-crushes (in no particular order)
1. Adrien Brody (okay, if you saw him in Love the Hard Way you'd be high-five-ing me, ok?)
2. John Malkovich
3. Chris Noth
4. Holly Hunter (yeah, you heard me!)
5. Liev Schreiber
6. Ron Livingston
7. Kevin Spacey

My friend Jen claims I was once obsessed with what's-his-name, that redhead scenery-chewer on CSI Miami, when he was on NYPD Blue, but for obvious reasons, I have blocked that out of my consciousness. Oh, and Jen, who is a devout lesbian, crushes on Ed Harris. Talk about bizarre!

Is Rachel Ray the one who pronounces everything with such annunciation that she practically bites the camera with every word? My friend Liz made me watch the Food Channel with her once and that's the only show I remember. The toothy host was making vegetarian lasagna, but I suspect she used her giant incisors to tear some flesh off the cameraman after they stopped rolling.

Lol , love your crushes, got a thing for bobby flay myself..lol jk. hey i finnally got a fricking job working on bikes, i wicked excited

he gives all of us Justins a bad name!!!!

Hmmmm time management. Well. Here are some suggestions.
a. don't sleep. ever again.
b. develop a wicked crack and/or meth habit
c. learn to drive/go grocery shopping/speak to worthless people while sleeping (that way, all that wasted time is used wisely)

d. give yourself credit for doing all the things you are doing right now: few people can handle school AND full-time work AND a relationship AND friendships, and you are doing so well all around (regardless of lonely boob-craving boy). Why do you think I disappeared from SG for the spring? I just can't juggle it. The stress will lift eventually, and then you will have more time.

As far as Justin goes, go out with him one night. Tell him how lecherous and wrong his boob comment was, and then work into the conversation how busy your life is right now. Perhaps he doesn't realize how inappropriate he was. Better yet, take him to the Mardi Gras on that night out, and kill two birds with one stone!

Bahahahahaha! I used to have the stroke-awareness commercial memorized (because it was always on during the morning news, as I got ready for school/work).

*tuning fork*
Face! Does it droop when you ask them to smile?
Arm! (yada dah yada dah I forget this line)
Speech! Does it sound (something?) or confused?
Then it's time... Time to call 9-1-1!
Face! Arm! Speech! Time!
Act fast!
Give a loved one hope!

Very catchy. Makes me want all PSAs to be communicated through cartoon jingles!

Thank you for your encouraging comments. I appreciate your kindness. I hope you can share that success on it's time. Be well.

me too

I do believe this is one of the funniest yet true things I"ve ever heard. I'm assuming I need not apply since I PERFECTLY fit the above criteria.. although I might sneak in a boob grab every now and then. lol

You are just too nice. That's why everyone seems to want to take advantage of you. Just say no. It's sound simplistic but is not. It's obvious to me that you are a very resorceful woman but for some reason some of your friends/family-members/ex-family-members think that they can use you as they need or please them.

I could fill the page with obnoxious advise but I won't. Just start saying no more often. Welcome to the talented people Hell! Our hell is to have to say no to the abusive people until your skin get thicker and they are so afraid to ask than they just stop doing so.

Another strategy is to ask something very abusive in return for every inconsiderate thing you are ask to do. What is that do you want me to do for you? Sure, but could you cut my toe nails now? Clean my boots? Bath my dog? You choose.

Yipes! Milli Vanilli? That makes me want to drink right now!!

I went food shopping with Jen today at the East Longmeadow Big Y and she kept screaming the commercial jingle as we walked through the aisles, so I feel that since it is in MY head, you too must suffer!

Come home, come home! To Big Y!
Come home, come on hooooommmme.... to Big Y (to Big Y!)
Come on hooooo oooooo oooome
To your neighborhood market, Big Y!

ps: It's Mad Monday: $6.00 pizza from the food court. I hope my doctor (I scheduled both my dentist and yearly physical on the same day, I'm so efficient) doesn't give me a cholesterol test

lol, I do think I'm lucky. But I felt that way before he tore the deck of cards in half

and...if we don't ask???

i think i'm figuring it out...couldn't they have given us warning? a cheat sheet? at least told us what would be on the test so we could study (oops - delirium - had a midterm the other day)...uggh I am too sick to figure this out today! But, I will send notes if I learn anything!

yeah what they said about finding your friends journals.

i played around on this version of the site for a couple days while they were going through the beta testing. but i haven't been back so i've had to poke around again and try and re-learn where everything is. now if i could only find where i left the keys.

Im working on trying to like the newness

I may be a minority right now (which I'm used to be anyway), but I liked it better than the old one. Only that grey color......

crap i just had a big response written and i lost it. oh well let's try again.

that de la soul album is awesome. and i found it at turn it up for only $8.
i saw your new truck the other night when i was riding home. i was about to honk as i was flying by on my bike but i realized that walter was just getting in/out of it and he probably would have been confused as to why i was honking.
as for the dog digging. try buying chicken wire and attaching it along the bottom of the fence (and if you can) bury it straight down. or if not buryng it attach it and place it along the ground so he can't dig.

I changed Bank Accounts and it took a few days to get my New Card

Love you dear. I'm not quite pissed at the world, just incredibly confused with myself. We may be somewhat in the same boat however, and I miss chattin with you.

Where are you? Drop me a line.