facetious73

Well, the holidays have come and gone and what would christmas be without the traditional ten pound, louisville slugger of a candy cane that my grandmother gives me each year. Mmmm... I've just about slubbered one end down to a nice, stake-like point. Time to go out and hunt down all the christmas vampires.

Man it'd be cool to date a girl that was "bi" and it actually mean "bisexual". So far the only "bi" girls I have met turned out to be "bipolar". And really, that's just not quite the same.

Man, X-mas is damn near here. Anyone know where I can get a mistle-toe belt buckle?

Goddamn it started getting dark early tonight. It started around four-thiry. Four-fuckin'-thirty!! It just doesn't make sense to me. We "fall back" only ONE hour but it starts getting dark FOUR hours earlier. Does not compute. This daylight savings time is a piss poor investment.

Call me weird, but it just dawned on me today that I have NEVER used an entire chapstick. I've either, lost, thrown away, or melted into my jeans pocket (doing laundry) each tube I have ever gotten my hands on. I have absolutely no recollection of ever using up that last little bit from a tube. It's completely stupid, yet utterly mind-boggling.

I dont drive too much these days. Got into a little trouble with L.A.s finest a little while back and got my license suspended. Apparently youre not supposed to drive around with expired tagsAND smoke a doobie at the same time. The state of California seems to frown upon that. And the judge didnt buy into that whole smoking makes me drive better bit. But...
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I have decided you simply can NOT play Uno with only two people. It just doesn't work. Skip you, Skip you, Reverse back to me, Draw Two - still me, Skip you, Reverse back to me, Skip you, Draw Four, um red - UNO!!!

Nuh-uh.

God the days are just rollin' on by. There's about a half dozen things I wanted to do today and I didn't get to because I had to work. I think my only problem with going to work is that it's too damn time consuming.

I've decided to make a conscious effort to not be such a potty mouth if I can help it. I'm not starting any "swear jar" or anything thing coo-coo like that. I'm going to just try and reduce my usage of such words like "damn", "shit", & "fuck". "Asshole", I may retain only because it applies to so many chuckleheads here in LA. And while...
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You know those guys that dress up like gigantic hoagies and stand outside of Subway? The ones that stand out on the curb and wave to passing traffic in an effort to wrangle in some of the afternoon crowd. I wonder if anyone has ever gone in to the Subway and said, "What's that guy made out of? Whatever it is, he looks fucking delicious....
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I just walked down to the bakery on the corner for a little morning coffee. I'm thinking the VERY FIRST homeless dude that used the sign "Why Lie? I Want Beer" probably made a few bucks with that one. I mean, I know the first time I saw it, I laughed. But then everyone started doing it and at this point I find that those...
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Weird. I just learned that my cat's favorite movie is Ice Age. It just happened to be on tv and she sat right the fuck down in front of the tv and stared at the screen for a good 10 minutes. Which is odd because I actually watched Toy Story the other day and she wasn't havin' any of that. And Toy Story's a MUCH...
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