Wow today was an eventful day.
I actually feel the budding of an actual social life. I realized what it takes to be into a crowd, or whatever. It's history and connections.
You see some girl and you think "oh crap, now she's with that guy" You talk to some guy you have an inside joke with. You talk to someone who at different times... Read More
Advanced garbage on
the magic of communication.
Pushing logs into lemons.
Driving through inevitability of sand.
The effort of the tongue to alleviate suffering
vibrating folds of skin, exhalting history.
Crossing minds, this space
plumbing mind, plumbing wells.
And this -- solid reverie of its creation
Was what more than every replayed moment
in dark stairwell fascination
every day and night and in the hours.... Read More
I love you for quoting the tarot at me - and pictorially en plus.
And there I was about to post a journal about how all the poets had left this site...
'I keep my razor blades cool' is a properly chilling line...
I can't use marijuana, and it is one of my (many) big regrets, (I said this once before on this site) 'cos it seems like a mellow, undemonstrative, gently expansive drug. My psyche just ain't built for. I can't handle that kind of opening up into canyons and chasms and corridors of lost thought.
So lately I've been alternating between these feeling of extreme annoyance where I feel like violently lashing out at minor irritations, and then it's this grim hopeless depression where I'm walking through fog on auto-pilot.
Those are only two extreme sides of it actually. Most of the time I feel fine. I worked out again and I think that improved my mood. I should be... Read More
I've been feeling overall kind of irritated, angry and frustrated the last couple of days. Maybe part of it is laying off the weed and my wacked sleep schedule.
Does anyone have a problem with their grandma falling down? It happened today and I had to leave work to take care of it. C'mon on gram we gotta get a pulley and rope system going... Read More
i cut out junkfood, fast food, and cut down on my booze intake and lost 20 lbs in less than six months; i feel a hell of a lot better, too... still working on the exercise bit. maybe that will be my new year's resolution.
i won't be going back to New Orleans. at least not to live. i went back for a week to pack up my house earlier this month. a lot of things are back to normal, or as close to normal as can be expected, but it's still surreal. the military pressence alone is enough to keep me away. plus, they'll arrest you if you're out between 2 am and 6 am- that's definitely not the New Orleans i know and love.
I sit at my desk.
My legs are white, and beefy, and hairy.
Once again on the roof
the abandoned souls of yesterday.
We never should have fed them.
corn bread heffers
interspacial combat zone tonight.
Another dreary drizzler sifting sugar.
I fear nothing but
the bloodless act of removal.
They're cheering us on, but
we don't speak the language.
So my new thing is... smoking skunk bud and Netflix. That's what I call medication.
On the couch just about anything will do actually. It's too amazingly easy to remain immobile on the couch for long periods. It's just that you get so much more out of what you're watching.
It goes back to that freedom thing. It'll last as long as the holiday season.... Read More
The Scirocco, apart from being some make of car, is a particular trade wind, like the mistral. The scirocco blows north from Africa and as a consequence takes a lot of the top layer desert silt with it in the clouds and water vapour it carries along.
In a rainy or dry autumn in Britain this doesn't really make a lot of difference as the size of raindrops wash away the silt as it lands and dry is dry. When whopping great rolling clouds of mist that carry the grit in it in suspension are part of the autumn landscape then a car moving through it quickly will get covered in shit.
I never knew that before. Now my car is living proof of this. African silt is kinda khaki brown...
So, what's new? This last week seems like a month.
I'm settling in at the new workplace which is good. I've already written more code this last week than the last eight months at the last lame place I was at.
I refrained from drinking this weekend and feel better about it. Got decent sleep, this cold I'm half-way have didn't get worse.
So it seems like lots of people are out of it, or in need of updating but they don't know what to say. That includes me somewhat.
I'm just feeling run down, even though for the most part I'm really stoked about my new job. It's kind of like overstimulation where I end up feeling tired and cranky at the end of the day. I... Read More
I am going to give him a sedative, but even drugged (believe me, I've tried), he will not go into the hard carrier. It's bloody and exhausting. The only thing he will go into is his pillowcase. But I figure that it will work the same with the soft carrier because I can just slip the opening over his head and coax him in like I do with the pillowcase.
Thanks, but I don't think that will work. He has to have something snug on his body the whole time, so I'd have to fill it up with a bunch of stuff that would make him hot. Also, the one I have isn't airline approved, so I'd have to buy another one anyway. Those cost around $25+. Then I'd have to cover it with another blanket or something to keep him from seeing out. I'd rather eat white rice for a few months than do that.
The dreaded hangover update.
Not that bad, but bad enough to mention.
It's right now that I really recognize how this interferes with appreciating things that I should be able to appreciate more, instead of wanting to crawl into a burrow and hide from the world.
Well, at least I wasn't the drunkest person in the group. And I have a fairly continuous memory of... Read More
Thanks! At first I thought it was a really horrible journal entry, but I edited it a bit and so I was happy with it! The quote box style though, was stolen from Louys, but the images, the way they are and la la la, that is something not uncommon in a journal of mine.
I have the shakes...from my withdrawls...
I am not a huge drinker, as I can normally control it, but it seems very true that being uncomfortable leads to more drinking...and as this was a bit of a weekend for me...the tremors continue....
on the bright side, at least I can shake quite a Martini....
NaNoWriMo - well, I read two books on writing already. It's interesting to see how it's really done. It doesn't seem so bad, but.... I haven't started writing yet
That's not entirely true. I've spent a lot of time, some time at least -- about 5 hours, working on an outline.
I've already got it down, in a vague way, to the... Read More
day!
