as pro,ised, a short-short story. crit welcome. I'm told the last line isn't the right last line but I don't know what is.
Sushi-A-Go-Go
He picked up a piece of fish with his chopsticks and placed it in her mouth.
Thats some good fish, she said.
You want some more?
I want some of that, she said, and pointed across the restaurant with her own...
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Sushi-A-Go-Go
He picked up a piece of fish with his chopsticks and placed it in her mouth.
Thats some good fish, she said.
You want some more?
I want some of that, she said, and pointed across the restaurant with her own...
Read More
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elora1:
you are almost to my house.
too bad i'm not there.
i hope i'm done in time to come home.
too bad i'm not there.
i hope i'm done in time to come home.
letigre:
yes.
In other news:
Our new roommate needs to take a serious chill pill. Seriously.
Jealousy makes life harder.
My short-short story prof thinks I rule.
I need a second job.
Our new roommate needs to take a serious chill pill. Seriously.
Jealousy makes life harder.
My short-short story prof thinks I rule.
I need a second job.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
kenyon:
ahh, professor love/praise . . . how i miss it! 
finklestein:
Send short stories! ...and I lost your number so I don't know what's up with dinner tonight.
And it was a happy day. Nothing amazing happened, just a day. I finished work earlier than I expected, I had a burrito, I went to class, I watched some Nip/Tuck...but best of all, I didn't freak out. Yay, me!
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kenyon:
i think i'm a lightweight - i like nip/tuck, but often i have to look away. it's just TOO MUCH TOO FAST.
and yeah, i found foot/shoe pervert on craigslist, aka pervlist.
and yeah, i found foot/shoe pervert on craigslist, aka pervlist.
letigre:
you will see. 
Today is gonna be a happy day.
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fridgemagnet:
So!?!
letigre:
pirates say yarrrr. dont they?
pirates say yarrrr. dont they?Well, I had a nice little meltdown today, the weather is crap & didn't really have any plans to begin with, so I think I'm gonna spend this New Year's Eve hunkering down on the couch with my boy and a nice spicy Cab, finally responding to my plethora of birthday comments. Happy New Year, y'all. 
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fridgemagnet:
Impossible sir, it's in Johnson's shorts.
First semester of grad school: check.
Happy birthday to meeeee!
Happy birthday to meeeee!
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bleakronin:
HOPPY HOLIDAYS!!!
King James
HOPPY HOLIDAYS!!!
King James
anja:
miss you! *kisses*
current word count: 3,431. Goal: 4,200. Time left: 3 hours. That's 250 words an hour. Think I can do it?
update: 12:53. 3,753 words. And yes, I should stay off SG. But it helps to know I'm being watched
update: 3:24. Okay, I passed my goal. I coulda sworn 4,200 words was at least 15 pages, but I'm up to 4,496 and I'm only at...
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update: 12:53. 3,753 words. And yes, I should stay off SG. But it helps to know I'm being watched
update: 3:24. Okay, I passed my goal. I coulda sworn 4,200 words was at least 15 pages, but I'm up to 4,496 and I'm only at...
Read More
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
mya22:
GO GO GO!!! 
lotusmonger:
whatever happened to "quality not quantity"? 
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magni:
Why? What'd I do?
yuriel:
aww
cute lil thing <3
hehe happy holidays and i hope you get your chinchilla if you aint already!
cute lil thing <3
hehe happy holidays and i hope you get your chinchilla if you aint already!
I've decided to follow what seems to be a trend and picked a significant date to quit smoking. So, two more weeks until the big 2-5 and nice, pink healthy lungs. Wish me luck! 
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hapworth:
You're the first one... smarty pants.
evanx:
Best of luck! Don't give up! It can be done!
Does anyone know anything about tenants rights (esp in CA) when it comes to lengthy repairs that make parts of your home uninhabitable?
So pA pokes me two nights ago and say "this guy is coming by at 8:00 tomorrow morning to look at the place"
"mmkay. I'll be here."
So dude shows up at 8, says "Is pA here?"
"No, he went to work."...
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So pA pokes me two nights ago and say "this guy is coming by at 8:00 tomorrow morning to look at the place"
"mmkay. I'll be here."
So dude shows up at 8, says "Is pA here?"
"No, he went to work."...
Read More
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panigirl:
as i understand it, you can withhold your rent for the portion of the place that's uninhabitable, but it has to be put into an account (escrow?) so that you can show intent to pay.
btw ... i put new pics of my scooter on my page ...
btw ... i put new pics of my scooter on my page ...
ceeja:
Yeah, that sure felt like a sitcom moment when I came out of the shower. I should've dropped my towel in shock. Then the laugh track would've set in....
I hate Christmas shopping. I like that it makes some people super happy, because I like it when other people are super happy, but the whole deal always ends up making me feel incredibly guilty, a) because I honestly don't need anything except really practical shit like a whisk. I really need a whisk. I was trying to make crepes the other day and I...
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mya22:
awww those are great presents! glasses are fucking expensive!
i'm asking all my relatives for LLBean gift certs. I really want snowshoes and all the crap that goes with them (snowpants, long underwear, coat, etc). I've told them all what I'm getting with them, but this way they'll know that even $20 matters.
i'm asking all my relatives for LLBean gift certs. I really want snowshoes and all the crap that goes with them (snowpants, long underwear, coat, etc). I've told them all what I'm getting with them, but this way they'll know that even $20 matters.
BWAHAHAHA! Oh, I crack me up.
Honestly, though...how about something a little less hyperbolic and a little more immediate, such as, "You know, you're not the only one here."
Other than that last line bit...which, honestly, I only mentioned because you mentioned...I like this. The spare language and the repetitions of some words ("enough," "game," "shitty," "empty"), and the structural parallelisms (Have some fish, Aline, she said.
Thats okay, said Aline, I just ate.) are very effective.
Did you intend that, in a way, you ended with the "he" being optimistic, in that his plate is half-full, rather than half-empty?