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One way that motorcylclists describe the performance of a motorcycle is to say whether or not it can get out of its own way, whether it has enough power to accelerate out of a tight spot. I find that I stand in my own way. Thing about pedagogy and culture is that you are trained to believe in invisible walls, that surround you and hopefully...
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salome:

Fear is just you standing in your own way.



I like that.

lillithvain:
Sometimes ingenious... mostly just bothersome. Good to use as human shields if someone is shoot at you though wink
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Battered and bruised from this week's work. Last night they had us doing 50 pound bags, lifting them head high. There's a nice kid there though who's trying to talk me into doing part time selecting in the freezer. I may but I'd probably rather do it up at the fruit and vegetable location rather than in the freezer location. My fingers hurt. I hope...
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salome:
Thanks for the sweet comment! I always try to post pictures in my journal; there are few things people like better than a photo update! kiss
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Not too much going on. OR some stuff. Work gives me plenty of time to think, body on autopilot. Last post I talked about how it is meaningless to compare yourself and your accomplishments to others. Thing about it is that there are two levels of being copeting for our attention. There is being in of itself, all kinds of beauty and knowledge flowing between...
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lizzi:
I believe you meant, "dizzi" not "dizzy". Come on now, gotta be consistent with the word play or I get all confused and my head explodes.
temper:
Thanks.
Professional modeling sucks. I do it sometimes, I just don't admit it. wink Theres several reasons. First, I'm a designer. Weird as it may sound, modeling is a degredation. Second, I hate the fashion business, or the 'scene'. Third, most people don't want a model with practically no hair, no eyebrows, scars all over and who can't walk in heels. Models have to be flexible, moldable with their looks, I'm not.

Doing clothes for men is a defenite plan for the future. I'll keep everyone informed! smile
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Well, thus far I have survived three evenings of my wonderful new job. Thing about it though, even though my arms are only just now ceasing to shake from all that lifting, is that night I was having difficulty suppressing a smile while I was working. I had been to a job interview yesterday morning and I have maybe a small chance of getting this...
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temper:
Thanks! Sorry to dissapoint... wink

Also, putting self-esteem issues and competitiveness aside just lets you focus on the main things, and not waste your time trying to prove a point where there is none to be proven. *shrugs*
enola:
true!! thank you for the comments!! kiss
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Well, I finally broke down and went to a temp agency to see it they would have anything for me. Today they called me and sent me to a frozen foods distribution center where I heaved 40 pound bags of ice onto pallets for several hours. I got a long break because the machine hung up and they had to call a guy in to...
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pokes:
Ouch, that's rough. Do you know what order-picking is? I used to order-pick in the werehouse of a bulk-foods wholesaler and was required, on a daily basis, to heave 50-70lb bags of foodstuffs onto a pallet which, towards the end of the order, was stacked above my own head height. It's horrible work, and I feel for you, but trust me when I say that your muscles will get used to it if you can endure the initial period of intense soreness. It also helps to stretch before and after work. But, in so much as it's grueling labor, I sincerely hope you find a new vocation soon. If not, good luck my friend.
temper:
Ah yes, crawling around in a pile of debris...thanks! biggrin
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I still don't have a job or life as of this moment, if there's anything to redeem this scenario it's that I have a history of burning chicken giblets.

You see, when I purchase a whole chicken and cut it apart, I boil or fry the heart, liver, and gizzard to give to my cats, as I do not like these bits and my cats...
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pihka:
Dewdrops and wildflowers? I wonder. More like Indian ink, oil colours, cardamon, rosemary, tar, sea water and woodsmoke. And lots of chili. wink

But I thank thee for thy kind comments...
abbie:
That's a really interesting comment to make considering I've never lived in the US and currently reside in what is probably the most European city in north america. My favourite authors are all american though, every last one of them from emerson and twain, to salinger, kerouac, bukowski and the staff of vice magazine. I guess I kind of have a 'thing' for that american literary voice in that outside-observer sort of way. Anyways, thanks for the insight and the compliment.
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A week ago I got my rejection notice from that Latin education program I had applied to. I really should have applied to more programs but I wanted to do this local one as I am sick of all the moving I've been doing the past few years and I probably wouldn't have gotten into anything anyway this time around as I have been away...
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magneticflux:
"Reifying freewill"? I reject freewill, and have eliminated cognitive dissonance which stems from that rejection. Sometimes I use non-literal language, though. And time is for nothing other than wasting.

I sometimes waste my time with metaphysics and you waste yours with idealism about the social order:

but the way I see it people who want to really be themselves deserve to get a good education every bit as much as people who wish to assimilate



Gaurdian temperments will always outway you Idealists; and they will rigidly defend the establishments against your attemps at subversion. Artisans are too busy working for the establishment, being apathetic, partying and being generally flippant to matter to your cause. Rationals are too immersed in their own designs (some of which lend support to social heirarchy and authority-- e.g. your machiavelli, hobbes, plato, strauss, others which include mastering the institutions of domination themselves) to help you in any substantial manner, though if you can get them on your side it's still 2 against 8 on the large.

In principle I am with you-- but you are still "wasting your time".

wink

Seriously though, I worry about my career too and finding my niche with which I can use to further some kind of "betterment" or at least maintain my principle. My electrical engineering diploma just came in the mail today and I'm still puzzling about which corporatized private tyrrany I want to work for. I'm thinking about some sort of firm which has it's business in sustainable energy, most likely photo-voltaic systems or energy-autonomous building design or something like that.

[Edited on Mar 22, 2006 4:20AM]

zaksmith:
clark,


I disagree entirely--things are either identical or entirely distinct (and therefore original in respect to one another), there is no in-between.
This is because each person sees different similarities between things due to their own points of view. It's like two people standing in a field of boulders--certain boulders will line up from one persons point of view that won't from the other person's.

Nick's paintings are in no way identical to other products and so are as original as anything else. There is no question in my mind.
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Filled out another goddamn job application today. I guess there's little point in writing anything about one's actual life. At least if you're me. Hopefully at least some of my ideas are interesting to somebody.

Hit the darkroom a couple of days ago and printed up several takes of a single image. I drive myself crazy trying to match the beautiful tonalities that my pics...
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mratomic:
hello there,
thanks for your comments about my work, I sometimes "between the wars" Paris cravings it seems like a simpler time in that if you were an artist you really had to BE one and they all hung out together in the same bar, but I guess we've got myspace for that now.
Funny you mention painting viruses in interesting shapes and colours, it's almost like you can see my worktop suface and are trying to make sense of all the splatters, doodles, spills, smears and so forth.
And yes I'm truly blessed to have a Manko in my life but it's far from luck...
all the best,
atomic
temper:
I don't have a lot to do with her.

What about the other two time-destinations, hm?
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COMPLETELY RANDOM STUFF

It's late right now as I type this. I love the feeling of being very tired when I have time to just enjoy it. A soft, weightless weight on me.

If I were the president of the United States I would cover the white house with grass seeds and glue and rename it the Chia House.

The term glottal stop could usefully...
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Well hello. Today I've decided to treat my (largely) hypothetical readership to some more of my self-indulgent keyboard clicking. I did a bit of mountain scrambling today. The photographs I sought did not materialize, but it's all good, the mountain should still be there when the seasons tweak the photographic conditions a bit.

Nobody cares about me boo hoo hoo. I shall therefore compose a...
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affy:
haha, Im going to apply and send in my first set when I have a set I think is a bit more worthy.
artrob:
Cool list. I have caught all of those fish too.

Do you still fish??
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Well, I've managed to figure out how to upload to a folder but not yet how to move them over into a journal entry, but it's progress. I'm a photographic dinosaur with two enlargers in my second bedroom and something like 20-25 cameras. Embarrasingly behind the times with respect to elementary digital behaviors.

Yesterday I went to a lecture about Cicero. It wasn't terribly exciting...
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