Howdy Hellos

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Do people still follow me on this thing? Howdy, it's been a while. I have a sound cloud where I make sounds. Check it out. It's One Rival, pretty cool, huh?

Thursday Dec 20, 2012

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I am jealous of those who can wake up, take some sort of drug or alcohol, and feel good. And if you don't need anything to wake up and feel alright than...fuck. Hopefully the world actually ends.

Monday Nov 12, 2012

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I recorded a song. It's ok.
It's a cover of the Gallows song The Vulture(Part 1)

http://soundcloud.com/steven-walsh-3/the-vulture-act-1

Yay.

Wednesday Oct 03, 2012

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How could someone so beautiful feel so worthless. Honey, you can get anything you want and you are better than what you let get you down. Everyone in this room wants you. Not a single person in the world wants me. Don't get too down on yourself.

Sunday Sep 30, 2012

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In span of a year I've lost contact with all my friends, the music scene, and my job. Why?

With friends...the closest ones have moved far away. Others never really deserved my friendship. There's a very beautiful girl who I can consider, really, my only friend now. I take her to therapy now and than and we hang out once every couple...
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avaadora:

i totally am in the same boat (the last paragraph) i am nothing but polite and nice to strangers, i hold doors open, i speak nicely, and i truly feel like i am a good person. yet know one seems to see me or have a response to what i do. people see to be so self involved anymore. sorry about you're loss of a job. hope things look up for you soon.

just try to stay somewhat positive and think of all the things that are in youre life. and be happy with the simple things.

Wednesday Apr 18, 2012

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As I wait for the next one to use me and throw me aside here is the perfect song for my anxiety.

Pretty Girls (The Mover) - Against Me!

What are you gonna say when she picks up the phone?
Should you leave a message if she's not at home?
I wanted to know if you'd like to see a movie or get a...
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Monday Feb 13, 2012

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What a horrible week for making me feel insignificant and meaningless. Valentines day, than my birthday. One to realize nobody loves me and the next to realize I have no friends. Well I wouldn't say realize. I know.

Here's a old tv show on G4 with me in it. HAH

Sunday Feb 05, 2012

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I just finished reading Fevre Dream(by George RR Martin) and it is amazing. One of the best books I've ever read. It's about a steamboat, a captain, and vampires. It sounds silly but if you ever get the chance read it.

Sunday Jan 29, 2012

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All of this not fitting in anywhere is really depressing. I put in for a transfer to a different city if any higher up jobs become available. Who knows when that will ever happen though. Nobody really quits. I need something. I'm either at work or I'm alone. I'm driving myself crazy.

Sunday Jan 22, 2012

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I got a media for my tv. It was sitting on a cardboard box before. EXCITE

Every Time I Die's newest single is pretty intense. Their next album should be interesting.

Thursday Jan 19, 2012

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I feel like shit today. My best friend tried to commit suicide this week. Twice. I just found out today. He blows it off like it's no big deal but now he can't work and he has to go to drugs anonymous every day. He say's it like it's a joke. I don't know what I can do for him...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
darksomething:

Thanks for the comments.

hardcoresteve:

Talk about his issues with him...from my experience the him blowing it off like it is nothing is a coping mechanism. I know I use it from time to time. If anything he needs people that care about him around him. As for the drinking thing, tell him how you feel about it. It will most likely make him angry, but throw it out there he should come around. But if he doesn't, well you did the best job that you could do as a friend.

I know that I do not know you, but I have had several friends commit suicide....and as a cop I have worked more than I care to remember. Good Luck with whatever you decide!

Here are some quotes for you.-
" We need not only a purpose in life to give meaning to our existence but also something to give meaning to our suffering. We need as much something to suffer for as something to live for."

"you may not always end up where you thought you would be, but you will always end up where you are meant to be"

"death is too permanent a solution to such a temporary problem. Nothing in life is set, we can change who and what we are. The trick is you must be willing to change. we hold the key to our lives. We define ourselves." - Steven Hodges

"in life you cant depend on other people to keep you focused, to keep you entertained, or to even keep you happy. They cant do those things for you, you must do them for yourself. But just because they cant do it for you, doesnt mean you dont need people in your life. But when you can make yourself happy the people you choose to keep around you, just add to the joy that you have created for yourself"