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OK OK OK TODAY IS HONESTLY ONE OF THE BEST DAYS OF MY LIFE
FIRST I finally went to the doctor to start getting stuff done for my health and heart
SECOND Blaire came with me which meant ALOT and she was so caring and held my hand and told me it would be ok and made me feel calmer
THIRD i got to talk...
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semiretiredpunk:
smile
zaftigg:
I second that emotion.
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An artist works their whole life. They work every day trying to make that perfect piece that expresses them and how they feel. It may take a hundred or a million attempts but they keep working, keep trying.
An artist who works with crystal forms and molds the delicate crystal. Has a vision of what they want to create. They form many shapes and many...
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accuser:
Man.

Alright, look, I want to help you here. But you gotta come down from the drama for a bit. How long were you with this girl? Cause I gotta say, I was in a five and a half year relationship, out of the blue got dumped and shortly after figured out that there was another guy. I didn't make this big of a deal out of it.

You need to get a grip. Is this really the end of the world? Do you honestly believe there is no possibility that you'll ever meet anyone else? Even if that unlikely scenario unfolded, is that really that bad? Because if you can't be happy alone, you're not ready for serious relationships.

Look, go to this post, read it, and decide if you want to start healing or just keep tearing yourself apart. Shed your tears, do your thing, do what you need to do to get over it, but at this point you're making it harder on yourself than it needs to be.

From all I've seen, you're acting like a teenager over this. According to your profile, you ought to know better by now. You can be fucked up for a while, but it gets to a certain point where you're no longer legitimately fucked up - you're just basking in misery. It's destructive in every way. You're not getting over it, you're repelling anyone who might be interested, and you're still miserable.

Pull yourself together, move past it, figure out what you like about yourself, figure out what you don't like and change it, figure out what you want, and go after it. Right now you're portraying yourself as an emotional burden, looking for charity. No one wants to deal with that. Do better for yourself. There's no reason you can't.
calixtenemare:
I'm sorry to say this, but I agree with that comment up there. :/
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I'm trying to deal with this all but... its still really hard...

Why do i keep listening to songs that just makes me think of blaire and how much i love her and just make me sad? frown
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mrsfulks:
I understand that ur hurting things will get better *hugs*
decembermarie:
I understand fully hun. I did it too....I actually out em on repate and listened to them so many times they werent so sad anymore
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OK so as per usual I have no plans tonight for halloween. I did somethin glast year but it was honestly the first time i had done something on halloween since..... I was a kid. I never have any parties to go to. i don't enjoy going out to bars or clubs ESPECIALLY by myself. So i haven't had a reason to celebrate it.
Oh...
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deceptiviewfilm:
NO. I only fond the transformer sketchings a week ago. I dont know if you could see it but there's an decepticon there as well. I carved the Headless Horseman but it finally collapsed.
lighthammer1979:
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So..... Blaire came over Tuesday night to help me Dye my hair (pictures to come eventually) and when she picked me up from work she mentioned that we needed to talk later. So we purchased stuff to dye my hair and went home and dyed my hair and while it was all soaking in .... we talked..... she.... she...god this is so hard to say....
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mrsted_stryker:
So I dont need to tell you you did nothing wrong.
I DO feel like I should tell HER she isnt a horrible person either.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Look, I worry all the time that the men I have dated would react this way. And some of them have. Some of them havent. The ones that DIDNT were wonderful in some ways, but if they were so wonderful, why am I not with them now? The ones that couldnt deal, well 1. they have their own demons to chase. 2. it isnt easy to watch someone you care about be sick. Its scary and it hurts. Some ppl just arent ready for something like that. Dont fault them. Accept them for who they are and either let them get ready, or move on. You held back for a long time, and when you finally let go, she didnt react like you wanted. But she reacted the only way she knew how. You love her for who she is, well thats who she is. Accept that and hope for the best. Dont have unrealistic expectations, just hope that one day she will be ok with it, and if not, there ARE other women out there.

AND before ppl jump on me for this, I speak from personal experience. YOU know that hun. I have been dealing with this my whole life and just came to the realization that life is too short. Accept me or dont. It will hurt but I am strong. I HAVE to be to deal with the diseases I have!

SO you take care. I agree. Try to do something fun. In 5, 10, 20, 30 or how ever many years, do you really wanna look back and think "I should have cared less what other ppl thought and enjoyed all the time I could"??

_crystal_:
Yeah in this past year I've become distant from all my friends... we hang out occasionally, but it's not like it used to be... I never thought I would say this, but I kinda miss high school confused
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A weekend that started out great has turned horrible.
Yesterday Blaire finally got to meet my best friend Manni. We went to the movies to see SAW V and they got along great. Well later me and Blaire went to Target i got some socks and walking out we started talking.... i decided to tell her fully about my heart condition and the fact that...
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semiretiredpunk:
My heart's fucked up too. But not much. Sorry to hear it. I just wouldn't worry about it. If you were/are serious about being with her, that would be a pretty big thing to be hiding. You did the right thing.
lighthammer1979:
How bad was her reaction? It is a bit of a bomb to drop on someone though. If she is as caring as you say she is it may just take her a little time to process it all and put it in perspective. I have a bad heart as well. Nothing as serious as you, but I feel you.
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So i was awesome and i voted early yesterday biggrin (as we say in chicago VOTE EARLY AND VOTE OFTEN!!!!!!!!!!)
I love that we can vote early here biggrin
The one bad thing is because of the economy being shit sales in the company are way down so they are starting to cut hours frown I am down from having as much as 6 days a week to...
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fragilesong_:
nice biggrin

and I'm sorry about your hours.
_crystal_:
Like about two hours haha God I'm so tired... and I have to be up at 5 tomorrow morning... I think I'm gonna die tongue
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WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So Saturday went AMAZING.
I busted my ass from getting off work at 6:30 ran by my friends Flower shop to pick up flowers for the night. Ran home to change for the night. The only sucky thing is that Traffic was HORRIBLE getting home. I should have just been able to take the bus there BUT i ended up having to take a...
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fabrizia:
You sound like a real sweetie. I bet your lady had an awesome night! wink
pomfelo:
Excellent! biggrin
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Well The meeting the other night was boring as fuck as usual. Got free food. but it wasn't worth the damn trip. Oh well can't do shit about it. its part of the job i guess.
Me and blaire are doing ok but are having a few minor differences. But we are doing good to talk through them. A large apart of it is the...
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comixbookgurl:
omg it was so good getting back into my bed!!! ^_^

and all that that implies! tongue
comixbookgurl:
kiss
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OK so the fucking Blackhawks Blew their first season home game. ... ok correction. their Goalie Cristobal Huet blew it. He needs to learn to stand right and keep his damn legs closed!!!!!!!!!!
Other than that. Nothing new since my major journal yesterday about my busy and somewhat stressfull weekend.
Been listening to alot of queen lately so here are a few of my favorites...
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nexus:
You definitely succeeded in the good and sexy category! Also, HB ftmfw! miao!!
nexus:
Man I haven't been to Chicago in forever! Been meaning to make it out that way. A scary drug woman kissed me outside Marshal Field's in Chicago once.
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QUICK POST:
So my day was going MEH. Nothing to special at work. Few customers. NO sales. Well in the last ... half hour or so it went from meh to AWESOME. First about an hour ago my gf came by to visit me at work which is always nice.
But the things that changed my day are. i made a nice big sale to...
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rizzo:
hahahahaha congrats
decembermarie:
well im glad things turned around for ya lol
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Things still going better and better with me and CalixteNemare. Got to meet her family this weekend. including her moms. Everyone seemed to really like me. We had dinner together on Saturday and i went over to watch Heroes last night and got to talk to her moms and i think i left a good impression. smile
Me and Blaire are also talking through and...
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nikonphoto80:
i'm glad things with you and the girl are going well.
ash:
You're so funny, u think I actually am juvinille enough to show up to a job interview with piercings and dreads??? lol, dude Im 27, I know how to get a job wink I just have bad luck right now. Where do u work again? And DONT make fun of my bad memory!

I guess Im out of the loop, I dunno who claire is or the cali person!