cotten

I'm going out on a limb here and I'm going to say that the people on this website are decidedly pro-cat, (excuse the pun), that is the domesticated house cat. That's all. Nothing further.

I am offering a 50% discount to all SG members who sign up for my Life Coaching Seminar at the Staples Center in LA next weekend. Offer good for the next hour. Act fast. Limited seated available. Don't miss this great opportunity to save yourself from the dangers of happiness, increasing wealth, and healthy relationships.

If I see one more ridiculously sexy Canadian on SG I will, I'm afraid, lose all faith in America. I was thinking of defecting to Canada during the Iraq War, but this is serious. We're at critical mass, folks.

I went out last night for a cocktail or two and woke up in a cheap motel room in Vegas with a shiny ring on my finger, freshly married to Jesus. O what a wash of a night! The pictures of me at the alter facing a greasy-haired pastor, standing arm in arm with a divine frame of light are utterly atrocious. I can't bear...
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I just talked to your mama and she said that E-card / Hallmark bullshit you sent her wasn't good enough and that you should put some more effort into honoring the goddess who gave you life.

I am seeking a lonely woman with astronomically low self-esteem for mutually miserable relationship full of forced intimacy, painfully stale conversation, once-a-month missionary sex, public displays of disaffection, long walks with even longer uncomfortable silences along the beach, and a mutually cultivated longing for something/someone much better while we raise our children in our own images. Anyone? Anyone? Hello? Why is so hard to find...
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O I'm just sitting here at my Malibu home, perched on the balcony, gazing at the Pacific, listening to the waves crash into the shore. O no, no, no, my mistake. It's just my hour-long album of Ocean Sounds playing on my laptop. So soothing and yet so fake. Folks, this is what happens when alone in a dreary room with your eyes closed...

Everyone gather around. Confession time. I really feel like I let you all down. I did not get a tattoo today. Nor did I get a piercing. And not even a sliver of metal implanted under my skin. I'm really sorry. I will try to do better tomorrow.

Potluck party at my house! There are just a few rules. Everyone must bring one item from their freezer that has been in their freezer for as long as anyone in the house can remember. (The item should be covered with frost and not quite identifiable.) At the party, we will defrost and cook all items and prepare one grand buffet. Whoever doesn't get sick...
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Well, it's happened. I dreamt of a Suicide Girl. No one in particular, something of my own creation, probably an amalgamation of all I've seen here. Though it was great to see a pierced, tatted and beautiful girl appear in my dream, I find it kinda alarming that I'm now dreaming of people on websites - people I don't really know (or will ever know)....
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Hey kids, if you like the Politics, here's a good rule to live by: You should not vote for a Republican or Democrat unless you can afford to fund his/her campaign. Or afford to buy off one already in office.

I am sick & tired of getting mistaken for the messiah. I can't stress this enough: it ain't me. If you think I listen to my Father, and if you think I'm footing the bills for your sins, you a crazy mutha fucka.