coffeelove

So today is the day I hopefully get the key for the apartment. The guy said he would bring it over today and he better!
I've emptied my room for stuff, filling up half the living room with all the stuff I've managed to cram into my tiny room. Haven't got any boxes so I finally found a use for all my purses and bags...
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Off to the housewarming party, as always late, overslept, spent hours doing my hair etc etc. And have been given the task of bringing music. Yay.. And need to stop by somewhere to buy food. Fuck, I haven't eaten today. Eep!
Spending the night at the apartment in the city, and depending on how drunk I am, see you all later.

All curled up and...
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So you are staring into the mirror and you are no longer looking at what is real, it is you but you are hanging upside down, there is no struggle to break free, just a quiet acceptance of a victory that was not yours, the tears have been soothingly wiped from your cheeks, keep staring or reach out, trail your fingers through your hair, press...
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Blindfold me
Sneak up from behind and make my world go dark
Grab my arm and lead me, my skin sensitive to your touch
Send shivers down my spine, the hair on my arms stand
Don't say a word, your breathing is enough
Your hand on my lower back, guiding me, firmly
Push me down
Make me explode with joy


Anyways.. Promised myself off to...
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Seconds before the dawn..
Seconds before the storm..
A burning sensation, buried deep within, clenching of sheets, screaming at the midnight sun
A god staring at lips that are a work of art, claws digging through pale skin, a heartbeat
Believe he will hurt you, believe the wounds will be fatal
Her eyes, terrified and shining, will give the hungry beasts manners
Creep back into...
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Back from Denmark. It is done, we spread some of her ashes by the grave of her favorite poet and the rest in the sea. It was a brilliant day, beautiful, poetic. We went there at sunrise, dressed in colourful tracksuit pants, turquoise, red, green, some clutching bottles of champagne, I was carrying a tray of strawberries and plastic cups. The grieving family and friends...
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17 days of vacation! Fanfuckingtastic!
Sunday, going south, Monday, off to Denmark for festival, booze and spreading of the aunts ashes.

And.. time to stop buying whatever it is I have been buying lately.. Spent $1300 in the last two weeks.. Woops..
Spent $90 on underwear yesterday. But it was on sale, I couldn't help myself!
Other than this.. Life feels pretty sweet at the...
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So got the answer to all those blood tests. Hep and HIV - Negative.
The other.. Well, I have high cholesterol and impaired glucose tolerance. Which can be fixed by changing my diet and exercising more. Going to have a EEG of my head to rule out epilepsy though. So that's it for now.

And now, ladies and gentlemen. This weekends 70's costume party in...
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She said hope is such a silly silly thing to have..
I wish I could mend her broken heart, I can't. I have no miracle recipe.
She wants to escape from all the things that are infused with him.
I told her go.
It never did me any good, but for a short while it might help.
Short lived is that happiness, that freedom....
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Went to the doc today, she said it could be hypoglycemia, some kind of epilepsy or indeed panic attacks.
So I took a bunch of blood tests, have to go back tomorrow for another test I have to take fasting and then I have a new appointment with my doc on Tuesday.
So no answers yet but at least I'm closing in on some kind...
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So I can add hypoglycemia to the list of what might be causing my symptoms. It fits with what I experience when I have these attacks. Fits really well actually.
Thought about some things and I remembered I haven't been able to relax my stomach muscles in months. It's been a constant knot. I keep expecting bad news thrown at me at any time. I...
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Three days of drinking in a row. I am too old for this.
Cuddle rats, shower, pill, then bed. Hope everyone has had a wonderful weekend.
♥