first off to important matters i just did my bi-monthly computer virus check i had one and as a waring to any one that might have emailed me or recieved email from me, or had a IM conversation, be advised it mighht be benificial to check your PC now.
seocndly and just as important i like the NEW TAB that the lovely SG crew put...
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seocndly and just as important i like the NEW TAB that the lovely SG crew put...
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"See, the problem is that God gives men a
__ brain and a_ penis, and only enough blood to
__ run one at a time."
___ * Robin Williams
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nyhcx516:
i love that line of his.
freyja__:
nice to see you!
A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics. It identifies that American Indians have the longest average penis and Polish men have the...
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clara:
That was a bad one, Malphas. It's ok, I still like you.
"What do people mean when they say the
___ computer went down on them?"
__ * Marilyn Pittman
___ computer went down on them?"
__ * Marilyn Pittman
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ophelia:
*giggles*
Damn, I wish my computer would go down on me.
*tries to sweet talk computer*
no luck.
And yes. You're not the only kazakstanionian or whatever the hell they/we're called. I once had to write a 1000 word essay on Kazakstan so that I could get dessert. My brothers were bastards to me when they babysat me. I went upstairs, wrote for two hours straight, came back down, and they'd eaten it all. Stupid brothers.
Damn, I wish my computer would go down on me.
*tries to sweet talk computer*
no luck.
And yes. You're not the only kazakstanionian or whatever the hell they/we're called. I once had to write a 1000 word essay on Kazakstan so that I could get dessert. My brothers were bastards to me when they babysat me. I went upstairs, wrote for two hours straight, came back down, and they'd eaten it all. Stupid brothers.
maelwys:
You were going to be in Surrey or Sussex? I'm in Harrow, Middlesex, on the edges of London. And, yea, it is handy for the buses and trains. You'll get nicer scenery than I have here! I'm never adverse to a pint or three. Maybe you'll be the focus of a SGUK event?
A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender inquires. "I want 6 shots of Jagermeister, responded the young man. "6 shots?!? Are you celebratin something?" "Yeah, my first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house." "No offence, sir. But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste,...
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clara:
More blowjob talk? *wishing you good luck in your quest*
A man walks into a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both startled and he says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She...
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pixilated101:
too fucking funny!!!!!!
edea:
HaHaHa!
Flotsam & Jetsam was a metal band in the mid-80s that Jason Newstedt was in before Metallica.
It was also the names of the two evil eels in 'The Little Mermaid'
HaHaHa!
Flotsam & Jetsam was a metal band in the mid-80s that Jason Newstedt was in before Metallica.
It was also the names of the two evil eels in 'The Little Mermaid'
227 days and i'm still on sex stirke. no sex or masterbation and all is going well. i have almost 30 days left in jersy. someone once pointed it out that they found it funny i keep track of things by day number instead of by week, month or year, and asked why? to which i had no reply it has alway been the way...
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slinkster:
you're so perdy
11_11:
you had no reply cuz numbers are better then letters.
i need a new profile pic if anyone has any pics of me that they think would make a graet profile pic IM me and well talk
that is all
and now for something completely different
charlie will run around screaming "i'm a dirty dirty dirty slut"
that is all
and now for something completely different
charlie will run around screaming "i'm a dirty dirty dirty slut"
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maelwys:
The leopard (?) is good. My indentification of big cats is a bit crap.
Never grabbed a polar bear by his ears, never had the oppo. The only ones over here are in zoo's and safely secured. The animals are even more so after some pillock got loose in the lions den a year or too back. Dont know what he thought he was doing, but the lions though he was the feline equivalent of meals on wheels. So with lack of polar bears, I could only ever manage to grab a stray beagle by the ear, even so it'd probably bite me. Or possibly a blind terminally ill fox with no teeth.
Never grabbed a polar bear by his ears, never had the oppo. The only ones over here are in zoo's and safely secured. The animals are even more so after some pillock got loose in the lions den a year or too back. Dont know what he thought he was doing, but the lions though he was the feline equivalent of meals on wheels. So with lack of polar bears, I could only ever manage to grab a stray beagle by the ear, even so it'd probably bite me. Or possibly a blind terminally ill fox with no teeth.
clara:
Good eye.
someone here once asked me why i was so full of self depricating humor. she did not agree or like my answer, thus she delivered her ultimatum to me. that i am no longer alowed to crack sarcastic jokes about myself. but when i see the whose hot and whose not type threads i cant help but make some sort of coment about my apearance....
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liquid29:
Well, I merely said I was average, which isn't REALLY putting myself down.
And she's right, you a cool mofucka.
And she's right, you a cool mofucka.
maelwys:
Ah, curse my gutter mind. There I was thinking the yodeler was performing a 'look no hands' style ride.
and this word "love" which old folks call devine be resident in men like you. not me, for i myself am alone.
i am like my father, but not my father
i am like my brother, but not my brother.
i am myself
i am like my father, but not my father
i am like my brother, but not my brother.
i am myself
clara:
I am also myself, but not alone. I have 
s. They're good company.
s. They're good company.
since it is that dreaded holiday here is something for who ever reads this.
Subject: KIDS describe Love~
Love through the eyes of children - Love and Marriage:
"If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want
to do it. It takes too long." -- Glenn, age 7
"Love is like an avalanche where you have to run for your...
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Subject: KIDS describe Love~
Love through the eyes of children - Love and Marriage:
"If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want
to do it. It takes too long." -- Glenn, age 7
"Love is like an avalanche where you have to run for your...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
destro:
what's this " virtual bartender" you speak of?
i just started tending bar , it could be helpfull.
i just started tending bar , it could be helpfull.
thalia1:
my name has nothing to do with a latin pop star.
it was the name of a muse
happy valentine's day to you too!
xoxo thalia
it was the name of a muse
happy valentine's day to you too!
xoxo thalia
* NEWS FLASH*
patience is to virtue as discretion is to valor
that being said i have made a decision about my celibacy. as to when it will end. i will end my celibacy with the first grrl , that i talk to in person, that just wants to jump my bones. that is all
and now for something completely different
el pedro es muy...
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patience is to virtue as discretion is to valor
that being said i have made a decision about my celibacy. as to when it will end. i will end my celibacy with the first grrl , that i talk to in person, that just wants to jump my bones. that is all
and now for something completely different
el pedro es muy...
Read More
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
freyja__:
silly malphas. why wait to get love before you return it!?
start a trend. spread love.
it's not always romantic love, you know.
*big warm hugs*
see?
that's love!
start a trend. spread love.
it's not always romantic love, you know.
*big warm hugs*
see?
that's love!
clara:
Listen to freyja, she's a smarty and she gives good hug!
*whew*
BOYS MAKIN OUT!
BOYS MAKIN OUT!