cakemix

you all know how much i really really really hate being single...
but i really really fucking hate being single on nice sunday days like today when i really just want to chill and hang out somewhere with someone, ugh.

and to make it worse i was actually double booked today!
one is trying to put it off til tomoro night (but i can't as...
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i don't seem to have much luck with italian american men in france!

last time it was dante, this time its toeboy...

i really don't understand what happened between giving him head on thursday morning in london and kissing him goodbye with his come still drying between my tits and meeting him on a train platform friday lunchtime in paris...but he made it very clear...
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when i picked him up at the train station i just wanted to tell him to get down on his knees and kiss my toes, but instead we went for a drink and he held my foot in his lap and stroked my arch...then headed home and the first thing he did after ripping my clothes off was turn me over and lick my ass...
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omg...
i'm sooo tired...
and i GOTTA get some rest before tuesday because i probably won't sleep again til april 12th, lol!
maybe i can sleep through my tattoo session?

mmm...i've got a tattoo appointment booked!
woohooo!

and breathe...
i've either just done something really stupid or really really exciting...i can't tell which right now though!

anyway, i'll be in paris on april 9th at least.
come play with me there please?

i finally had my 1st post break up fuck...and it was perfectly just what i needed.
was leaving the black time gig and walked passed the troy club and flowerboy ran outside and grabbed me.
omg, yes he does certainly have a perfect 6th sense of when/where to be around...so we quickly knocked back a couple of vodkas and jumped in a cab straight home...
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ugh.
evidently 'his friends' still read my journal and told him i'd written about him.
so he phoned me 3 times in succession and left 2 almost identical voicemails telling me i'm weird.
hmmm...who is the one acting weird?

he left me so why doesn't he just leave me alone?
why does he feel the need to still keep tabs on me if he doesn't...
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m is really fucking with me again and it really really stings.
sunday we spent hours talking about trying again and left it that i'd go round his house for dinner sometime soon and see how it went...

then yesterday i finally picked up my xmas present from him - a handmade tailored lovely black shirt, that i had to pay for myself *ouch* i...
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look what i made!
oki i did have some help from the guys at work but still...

you get rebuked by a surly French woman for taking the wrong directions - just my style, lol!

let me know what you think - i've just done a month at this new place and i'm loving it.

now i just need to get that eiffel tower tattoo...
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Its like being in purgatory, I don't know if I should move on or hang on, I'm just floating here empty and waiting. Waiting for my guardian angel to save me or the devil to reclaim my soul - and the scary part is that right now I don't know which is which or who or what is going to be my redemption.

Let's just...
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