well little update for the people her in la la land, things have been getting progressivly worse with me with little spots of happiness. i had one of my worst black outs yet, my mind basicaly seperated from my body, the little bits that i can remember are me looking from the third person watching myself stumble around and once again scared the hell out...
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well im one of the worst human beings on earth at this point. i went over and hung out with delores last night. it went great we went to dennys and binged on ice cream went back to her house and watched some more queer as folk. at which point things took a turn for disaster. i got up to go to the bathroom and...
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delores:
yeah, you did scare the shit out of me, but then that was just compounded w/ alot of shit already swimming around in my head... i'm just glad you're ok. i hope things are at least a little better today. 
!!!IM BACK!!!!!! 
delores:
hurray!!!!
Welcome Back!!
how bad were the withdrawls?
Welcome Back!!
how bad were the withdrawls?
well unfortunatly im out of money so i have to cancel my account till next week when i get paid. 
delores:
well, we'll miss you and await your return with baited breath.
[Edited on Mar 09, 2005 10:10PM]
[Edited on Mar 09, 2005 10:10PM]
i wrote her another letter today but i think i might actually give her this one. i do miss her so much.
well i had yet another panic attack yesterday this time at work. so now my job is really on the line. i have to get over this girl but i cant how does someone get over 2 years. if you know please tell me
helicoprion:
If you find out let me know too. I'm having the same problems at work. I have to work alone a lot and i just have complete anxiety attacks. It sucks.
People do get through things like this, i don't know how quite yet but they do. Hang in there,
People do get through things like this, i don't know how quite yet but they do. Hang in there,
delores:
I feel your pain, hon.
I wish I could say something to make you feel better.
But I'm here if you ever need to talk or anything at all.
I wish I could say something to make you feel better.
But I'm here if you ever need to talk or anything at all.
To Shake Off the Mortal Coils
To Shake Off the Mortal Coils
A permanent solution to a temporary problem - that is what the wise and good people state to help. The way they make suicide look like a decision based on cowardice is remarkable, when in the end it is a clear statement of one's strength - at least mine. I cannot speak for...
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To Shake Off the Mortal Coils
A permanent solution to a temporary problem - that is what the wise and good people state to help. The way they make suicide look like a decision based on cowardice is remarkable, when in the end it is a clear statement of one's strength - at least mine. I cannot speak for...
Read More
my life has just colapesd in around me i cant stop shaking any more. i am so close just to ending it all. my life is a living hell the girl i love more than life itself has just told me she hates having me around. my life is going nowhere no education dead end job. im holding the knife i just need to muster...
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Though I chose death instead of pointless pain,
Please forgive the manner of my leaving.
My love and need for you remain.
I could not long such suffering sustain,
Nor would it long have held you from your grieving.
Though I chose death instead of pointless pain,
I hope that choice will not my memory stain,
Nor lead you to be wroth at my deceiving....
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Please forgive the manner of my leaving.
My love and need for you remain.
I could not long such suffering sustain,
Nor would it long have held you from your grieving.
Though I chose death instead of pointless pain,
I hope that choice will not my memory stain,
Nor lead you to be wroth at my deceiving....
Read More
I get a funny feeling,
it comes from deep inside.
I get all mad and angry,
wanting to go and hide.
My doctor calls it depression,
my mom says it's just me.
But the thoughts and feelings,
no one will ever be able to see.
Some say I'm psycho,
some say I'm just weird.
It's like I'm a different person,
and the old me just...
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it comes from deep inside.
I get all mad and angry,
wanting to go and hide.
My doctor calls it depression,
my mom says it's just me.
But the thoughts and feelings,
no one will ever be able to see.
Some say I'm psycho,
some say I'm just weird.
It's like I'm a different person,
and the old me just...
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delores:
??
know the feeling.
know the feeling.
worked entirely too much last weekend 7:30am-7PM sat. 8am-1am sunday this is ridiculous
delores:
in reply to your myspace comment:
take out the overweight german shepard and we got ourselves a deal.
hehe
take out the overweight german shepard and we got ourselves a deal.
hehe
okay funny ass storie me and my buddy matt were out 4x4ing tonight and we follow this trail that goes all the way across the back of fountain hills so we come up and as where going along we pop up a hill and bam where basically in this guys back yard on a trail no wider than a fucking twin bed and all of...
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delores:
yo, read your myspace journal. what happened?
i ought to be online for a while... if i'm on when you get home drop me a line.
i'm just being the concerned, nosey friend.
hope all is ok.
*edited to say: i'm heading to the doctors here soon...may have strep throat.*
joy.
[Edited on Feb 06, 2005 1:24PM]
i ought to be online for a while... if i'm on when you get home drop me a line.
i'm just being the concerned, nosey friend.
hope all is ok.
*edited to say: i'm heading to the doctors here soon...may have strep throat.*
joy.
[Edited on Feb 06, 2005 1:24PM]
delores:
yo, bitch!
update your damn journal!
and hey, we should hang out tonight. it's the crappiest day of the year, and i want some distraction!
when you get this, you should call me or drop me an IM if i'm online... doesn't matter what time it is, i'll be up.
update your damn journal!
and hey, we should hang out tonight. it's the crappiest day of the year, and i want some distraction!
when you get this, you should call me or drop me an IM if i'm online... doesn't matter what time it is, i'll be up.
[Edited on Mar 23, 2005 11:12PM]