apostrophenow

"We don't have to protect the environment, The Second Coming is at hand."
James Watt, Interior Secretary under President Ronald W. Reagan

Thanks, really.

hey.

that aux. snare is a donoho custom. it's a 14x7.

the shell is really thin and the hardware is really light. i bought it off ebay from donoho. not the best snare i've played, but not bad for the price.

as for the vents, i'm not a huge fan of them. i think it really deadens the drum.

the purple snare in the picture, however is made by finland drums. basically, it's ocdp's old designer. he packed up his shit and moved to finland MN. it's the nicest snare i've ever played.

People rarely even ask me how I ever feel about something. A lot of people ask other people how they are doing or feeling or what is up, but the answers are usually auto-programmed. I love the picture of the bird- I think I might copy it and hang it by my throne so I can dwell on it during those lovely nights of insomnia or when I think I am going to be sick but am not or might be or not, can't be sure so I am just going to sit by the throne- some of the lovely shots they give me do that- yum! I really do love the bird pic.

That WNV sounds really really shitty. Is there a help group? Now I truly sound like my mom. She is always saying to me to join a help group, an organization for sick people like me. Strike what I said- it is retarded. I am going to call my neuro cause I swear he is a great good guy and just see if he will deal, and then we can see if he is on your plan. I read somewhere today that doing the wrong thing is better than doing no-thing. I don't know if I should put any stock in that theory, but wtf, I am on disability so I got nothing better to do than contemplate new ways to cure boredom, pain or the common pain in the ass.

Yaaayyy- A mission-- Agent F - End of Transmission or some shit like that. Yeah that sounded cool.

That bird is so scary.

I got in a fight with my father that lasted for a few months. We didn't speak except when necessary, i moved out, and it really sucked. These days, we are "cool" again but I know I will never be as close to him as I used to be. I know it is part of becoming an adult- to realize your parents are just people, with the same faults and shortcomings as any other people- but sometimes you find things you don't expect. My father is a cruel person sometimes. So much so, that portions of my extended family have expressed their worry and sympathy to me, that my sisters and I had to grow up in his house.
He's still my dad, and I still love him. But not blindly.

Interpitation is the reality and that is why contracts are subject to change. That is one of the largest reasons why we have so many lawyers, petty lawsuits and a corrupt judicial system. The various levels of conscious or unconsciousness, people use or hide behind becomes the logic and the ignorance of the world. The ignorance is a reality that serves people, but it is a double edged sword. In this world things are so utterly screwed up because of ignorant people or people incredible deft in claiming ignorance for gain, which ultimately destroys society because all of society as a mass is too stupid to coprehend more than 3 minutes into the future. Ignorance will get some people money, cost them their lives, or backfire on them in various fashions. Ignorance according to the law is not a legitament defense when fighting a violation against the law. However, ignorance is a defense when sueing for a hot cup of coffee, drowned child or nearly freezing to death near a ski resort. Either way ignorance is still the reality but in reality it does turn to wisdom for the present. I have been using very small examples to illustrate my understanding of what I think you are trying to get across here... and hopefully I am right. With that being said, the illustrations you show: 1. Virgin Mary or a Madonna fending off evils demonstrates the constant battle waging - in this case reality vs the unknown which becomes a reality 2. I don't understand other religous depictions but feel it is in common 3. Ditto 4. - Thru Depicts the ongoing struggles of an ideal life or good clean life, vs. the sins of life punished by the same ones promoting the good clean life by doing sins. All in all ignorance begets ingnorance which is the awful and still ugly reality.

Now, hopefully I have translated everything correctly or at least partially. My question is, do you feel that your unconscious mind holds a level of ignorance capable of this line of thought?

On a different subject... I am glad to hear you survived one thing and sad to hear you had the misfortune of WNV. How long have you had it exactly? That must be some very hard shit to deal with esp. with a compromised immune system. Why do you have to wait for a nuerologist? If you haven't picked one out, I have a great one. He deals with my migraines and he is young, but not fresh out of school. He is the best one I have ever had. I hate the old ones because they are so stuck in a routine and unwilling to try new things, the women are so - well, I am a chick and all and pro women, but women in the nuerological field seem really stupid to me. (I have had a lot of nuerologists w/ little success until this one I have now.) His name is Dr. Reinhart so if you want info on him I have it. He is like in early 30s. He is very detailed, polite, not harsh and he gives a shit, actually cares about what he is doing and who you are. It is cool. Anyway, thanks for writing back. Its rare to find someone on the same level who can grasp what its like sitting around for hours contemplating these radical thoughts that sometimes you wish you never had. No one should ever have to have thoughts like these sometimes. It is hard to be upbeat. Friends go away. I am lucky my husband stayed around when I nearly died myself. I won't go into the details on what did me in..., but death doesn't scare me either. It is actually very nice. I don't necessarily seek it, but my husband, Mark came home and found me literally cold and not responsive at all. He did CPR and brought me back right before the paramedics arrived. The coming back to life is what really hurts. That is the most painful thing in the world to experience. I think that might be the reason why most of us don't remeber being born. Anyway, I am lucky he stayed around after that and he continues to stay. Bottom line- thanks for talking back and its cool to see your spin on things. Get better soon and hope you get your life back on track where you want it to be.

Its things like your blog akin to philosophy that for some reason I hated when I was in college. Now my mind dwells on tangents, rambiling thoughts and never ending vicious cycles of ideas like this. Doesn't it ever make your head hurt? I've been on disability from my company for a while for some sickness- not mental- for a while so I have the opportunity to sit around and dwell on random thoughts for hours on end and it gets kind of nerve racking. I was just zooming and surfing thru AZ people files here on SG and read your post and I thought to myself, "Hey, maybe this guy's head hurts like mine!" Thinking beyond our true knowledge of the universe, our reason of life, what have you, I must admit is pretty interesting, but it is where it leads to that just frustrates the crud out of me. There is no possible end. I think that is probably why the greatest philosophical minds are those from Greece, they didn't have TV, which thankfully occupied my skull for a good 20 years. Now even that is nerve racking. So ultimately I guess I have to ask, have you settled on any hard theories of your own or do you just put out stuff to occupy the time and the wreckless feeling of knowing too many possiblities once having explored your mind?

*shakes a pompom*

I hope you made a wish.

[Edited on Sep 15, 2004 12:24AM]

[Edited on Sep 15, 2004 12:24AM]

i thought it was just because i'm getting older.