aponia

I'm so sorry -- my thoughts are with you.

If there's anything I can do or if you need someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to ask.

She had been diagnoised with pancreatic cancer a year before she died. She did all sorts of chemo and finlaly tried trial drugs. finally, it was just too much for her, so i took my leave and went to boston (i live in nyc). she decided to stop treatment. that was right before thanksgiving. She was on Hospice care at home. we eventually got a bed in the living room for her. It was awful. so incredibley painful to just watch her get weaker and weaker by the day. It was heartbreaking. All i could do was cry and cry. I looked at her and all I could think about were all the things she was going to miss. I kept thinking "please don't leave me". The day before she died was the only time in the whole year she had any pain. so she was very lucky for that. That was my birthday. That night was a nightmare. There is this thing that happens when people go into respiratory failure. The sound is awful. It really sounded like she was in pain, but we had given her morphine, so she was completely out. Didn't sleep much that night. In the morning, her beathing had quieted, but was really shallow and her heart was racing. She died 15 minutes after I woke up that day, dec. 19th. It was quiet, but it still felt like she was there. The worst thing is when they take the body. The next few days were a total blur. I was completely manic. I still feel like that sometimes. Ask me anything you want. I have a close friend who lost her dad from cancer and she was the only one that understood and gave me info no one else would.

[Edited on Sep 18, 2005 11:21PM]

I've been keeping you both in my prayers. For strength and courage for you both, and for your family. My heart hurts for you.

awww... thanks, girlie girl.
(since you're feeling girlie)

thank you for the birthday wishes.

What did you think of Supernatural?

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!!

mmmmmmm pumpkin spice! sounds so yummy!

oh thanks! i'm telling you that's the tranny glamour in me! i need to stop saying that but any idiot has to know i'm really a woman here. my journals are generally too bitchy to be otherwise.

oh man i ran out for my ticket the second i heard of it, i have a chronic fear of sell outs. i never actually ever bother to go to concerts for that reason. so it was special that i even got this one. i will try to ask for his hand in marriage! wish me luck!

ahh! you're the second person i know that's seen sigur. or is going to. lucky.

I know what you mean about checking IDs. On the rare occassion that my ID is checked I make sure to thank the person, so they don't think that I think it's a hassle. I make sure they know that small part of thier job is appreciated.
Glad the concert was wonderful, you needed some happiness after a crapy week like that.
*hug**hug**hug*

p.s. guess what comes out in 10 days?

That sucks. I lost my wallet once and a man drove two towns over to bring it to me and it still had the money in it and everything. I tried to give him the money that was in the wallet and he wouldn't take it. It was pretty cool.
*hugs*

that sucks.. at least you got your wallet back, though. i hope it doesn't take your bank long to sort stuff out.

i think you're the only other person i've met that likes parasite eve.

you are so lame
love ya

only one size a month and no more. You're ears will thank you. So that means you'll be at a O?

That shirt sounds pretty...I like dressing out of character once in a while too.

And I am totaly ready for the start of Autumn! I can't wait to bust out the hoodies!

Sounds like a fun weekend

p.s. I have more David Mack goodness in my latest journal

Hehe, that's quite a testimonial! Oh joy of joyous discoveries - Amazon.com sells the Hitachi + the G-spotter attachment for $50. Can't beat that!

I got the iVibe at Passional (formerly Fetishes Boutique) when I worked there. I miss selling sex toys to people. Those were the good ol' days!

i am still awake and know i should be asleep
but my troll needed the company

i go to work in five hours, i am stupid.

glad you had a good weekend! what are you knitting?
i'm totally ADD lately and have been working on Birch from Rowan 34(?), and three separate socks.

You aren't a horrible friend. You're the man! (gender notwithstanding)

thank you Lady!!!!



it's my little queen's b-day too!!!!