Tuesday Jun 14, 2011

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I dreamt that I went back in time to the Cretaceous. Naturally, it was full of tourists from even further in the future. I joined up with a tour group that reeked of velociraptor repellent. We had lunch in a McDonald's, where I was surprised to find the menu was the same as it was back home.

"What are these 'chicken' mcnuggets made of...
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Tuesday Jan 18, 2011

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GET A GRIP, INTERNET!
There isn't a new astrological sign. Parke Kunkle is not an astrologer, nor is he a historian or sociologist or psychologist. He wasn't trying to establish a new astrology, he was just joking about how stupid he thinks astrology is and he did it in a profoundly stupid way. Actually, he doesn't know what he was talking about...
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Wednesday Nov 18, 2009

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In The Weekly Standard's cover article, "Palin's Populist Pedigree," Sarah Palin is compared to Andrew Jackson and Ronald Reagan. The comparison is undeniably apt, but the article's writer Matthew Continetti inexplicably paints this as a good thing. Here, "populist" is used as a euphemism for "unbelievably stupid," but if you couldn't figure that out on your own, then you're probably...
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Saturday Jan 10, 2009

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I think that when George Herbert said, "Living well is the best revenge," he hadn't fully considered sleeping with his ex's friends, which is also a very good revenge.
iggy:

Unless their ex has herpes. Then the jokes on you.

Wednesday Nov 19, 2008

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When articulating her exact stance on abortion, a friend of mine said it was like her stance on self-mutilation - it's wrong, but we can't make that decision for anyone else.

I think that misses the point. After all, the pro-life stance is not so much like saying people shouldn't be allowed to cut themselves as saying that doctors should not be allowed...
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Tuesday Sep 16, 2008

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The Republican Party is America's abusive boyfriend. They love America so much, and they swear that if we give them another chance, they'll really change this time.
iggy:

That is the most perfect analogy ever.

Wednesday Jun 18, 2008

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I have noticed that, without enough actually wrong with Barack Obama, some people are spreading obviously unfounded rumours about him. For instance, due to his Arab-sounding name, people are saying that he is actually a Muslim. Others say he is receiving moral guidance from his former pastor, Rev. Wright, who is a radical leftist. Apparently, the people who believe these rumours cannot make the connection...
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Monday Jan 21, 2008

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Lately, I have been watching "The Addams Family" and reading "The Fantastic Four." I have noticed some startling similarities between the two:

- They were both comics that were made into television shows, then movies, then television shows again at various times.

- They were both popular in the 1960's.

- They both centered around an unusual family.

- They both became famous for their unconventional characterizations.

- They...
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Sunday Sep 09, 2007

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So I sent Katie John Donne's "Valediction Forbidding Mourning." I know I haven't known her long, and I was afraid it might seem like I was coming on a bit strong, but I don't read very much aloof poetry. I checked, and William Butler Yeats never wrote one called "I Think You're Kind of Neat."

Sunday Mar 04, 2007

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"Fuck this and fuck that.
Fuck it all and fuck her fucking brat...
I don't want a baby who looks like that."

-The Sex Pistols "Bodies"


Death isn't the end of the world.

It is common knowledge that when dirt napping, little things eat your body. Sometimes big things eat parts of it first. The mask that you have made of flesh and...
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Wednesday Aug 09, 2006

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They say it's like a shark. You know, sharks are always swimming. Of course, they are underwater, so it's logical for them to do that. The only time they stop, though, is to die. They say it's like that. Once you stop moving, you don't start again. You're already dead.

Is that what death really is?

If you can still...
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jessikaaaa:

I'm sorry I had to run tonight! I wanted to stop and say hello but I was meeting my cousin for dinner and I was already ridiculously late. Hello, BTW! smile