Sunday Feb 26, 2012

0
A comment to a friend inspired me to just make this into a post, lol.

I think as I learn more, my past feels better. What hurt the most was feeling like so many things were left unsaid, or unaddressed while she wasn't being honest. She might have not even known she was being dishonest, but a person's heart knows. I've seen...
Read More

Tuesday Jan 18, 2011

0
Ever since I found out my ex is now sleeping with her...ahem...EX-guitarist I've had trouble with my sex drive.

Porn, touch-touchy shower time, EVEN SUICIDE GIRLIES sends terrible images of them getting down in dirty into my head. Sometimes they're pretty hot images because she's a beautiful woman, but the mere thought of another man having her like that makes...
Read More
myrtle:

I thought you said you weren't renewing your account!
Isn't it strange to look back and read this more than a year later?
I imagine it still stings, and probably always will for lots of reasons, but I admire how you handled and still handle all of this situation!

akaiookami:

You convinced me, silly! The deal, the forums, and the chance to talk to more people is what inspired me.

I think as I learn more, it feels better. What hurt the most was feeling like things were left unsaid, or unaddressed while she wasn't being honest. She might have not even known she was being dishonest, but a person's heart knows. I've seen this with Anna recently.

I am trying to let down my guard with a lot of things, i.e. seafood, but mostly with living. Living true to myself, and what my beliefs are, even if I do enjoy living humbly. With that said, I am also trying to live more vibrantly and thrive in my own skin. That's tough when even the people you love are critical. Life is just fucking hard, hahahahaha.

Sometimes, the situation really worries me. RyAnn has been one of the only people willing to live under the same roof with Chico and myself, but I think when people find out that we dated, it ruins chances of finding another mate. However, I think Chico does that all on his own too, lol. However, I am very protective of the two of them being who they are. We're all friends, and we care about each other...even if we have difficult existences that tend to sting one another. I just thought of this today: one can reflect on how things went wrong, and it sometimes makes us sad. We can try to fix things for right now and tomorrow, but some situations and opportunities have been completely missed. RyAnn and I had our chance, and it's done. I feel it in my gut that it's over, and while we may always be friends, I really believe that when she physically leaves this house, the distance between us will be great, She has a hard time making time for anyone. It may be school, but it's also her nature.

I have come to terms with this.

After all of my relationship problems of this year already, I'm becoming who I want to be, now I just need to walk. One awkward, clumsy step at a time until I can courageously run toward my destiny.

Thursday Jan 06, 2011

0
So lately I feel like my life is sorta similar to that George Thurgood song, "Movin On Over"

I come in last night about half past ten,
that baby of mine wouldn't let me in
So move it on over, rock it on over,
move over little dog, the mean old dog is movin' in

She told me not to mess around,
but I...
Read More
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
akuma:

its so awesome to have great friends

akaiookami:

Honestly, I'd probably be dead. poor, and homeless right now if it weren't for my homies...