wowiee!! I'm fucking updating
I don't do this ever anymore, my life is just too damned boring. I don't DO anything and it's boring for me to even to recount. I did have a more interesting day a short while ago. Last Fri I was obliged to hang out with Erik. I also had planned on going to Kelly's gallery show thingy. I was kind of excited to do something free and interesting. Erik decided we were going out for sushi. I wassn't going to argue however I would have liked to not have hung out with him there. I think he just stressed me out a little which is what he seems to do a lot lately. Sometimes thinking about him makes me cry. Anyways I wore my brand new silk bebe shirt that is totally stylish I love it. It only cost twenty dollars, totally a find. Bill would call it an investment piece. HaHa. So I got all dressed up in my new clothes and Erik picked me up we went over the the gallery Evan was there and so was his girl Shannon, tee hee weird. I felt totally awkward. It was just odd because i totally tried to "hook up" with him (for lack of a better term. and I didn't know he had a chick. When I met her and Erik was there it just freaked me out on top of that the situation is weird because i suspect an unspoken attraction Evan has for Kelly but I'm sure nothing will come of it it just created an even stranger dynamic. Basically free food, awkward interactions, great clothes, and no attention payed to the art even though Kelly's Book was sweet. I loved the russian birds. Then Erik an I went to Fujiyama. It was tasty we ate the Black Dragon and the Pink Lady rolls they were delish!! After dinner we went over to steves and heard all about his adventures over seas. Then we went home to watch Freaks and Geeks at my place. It was fun for a while then my God damned roomate came home with Rob and they were drinking and annoying the shit out of me so I retreated to my room and started crying that outburst of emotion was a long time comming I hadn't slept at home in two weeks and I had been avoiding my roomates like the plague. The fact that he was a dick to me after not having to speak to me in almost two weeks. It just put me over the edge. Erik kept telling me that I shouldn't worry about them because they don't care about me. That almost upset me more. Eventually he calmed me down but that just ruined the evening. BAH! I hate my life sometimes, well most of the time.
I went to a party after work on Sat and I saw a guy from my past there who totally looked HOT!! I kept getting great signals from him but I didn't give him my number because Erik was there and of course I felt guilty. We ended up talking to each other until we fell asleep. we talked about his Ex and Erik (soon to be Ex). I think he liked me, or was he just being polite? It hardly matters since I have no way of contacting him and I have no clue where he hangs out. I will never run into him and I should be content to know that there is a nice guy out there somewhere. But I won't be. I know how I am and I've actually seriously thought about breaking up with Erik and I think it's a good idea like I will actually feel happier once it happens. But I am so sure I will never meet another boy again that gives two shits about me. I am paralized by fear. gal dern it. I'm dumb.
Current Mood: aggravated
Current Music: New Order
I don't do this ever anymore, my life is just too damned boring. I don't DO anything and it's boring for me to even to recount. I did have a more interesting day a short while ago. Last Fri I was obliged to hang out with Erik. I also had planned on going to Kelly's gallery show thingy. I was kind of excited to do something free and interesting. Erik decided we were going out for sushi. I wassn't going to argue however I would have liked to not have hung out with him there. I think he just stressed me out a little which is what he seems to do a lot lately. Sometimes thinking about him makes me cry. Anyways I wore my brand new silk bebe shirt that is totally stylish I love it. It only cost twenty dollars, totally a find. Bill would call it an investment piece. HaHa. So I got all dressed up in my new clothes and Erik picked me up we went over the the gallery Evan was there and so was his girl Shannon, tee hee weird. I felt totally awkward. It was just odd because i totally tried to "hook up" with him (for lack of a better term. and I didn't know he had a chick. When I met her and Erik was there it just freaked me out on top of that the situation is weird because i suspect an unspoken attraction Evan has for Kelly but I'm sure nothing will come of it it just created an even stranger dynamic. Basically free food, awkward interactions, great clothes, and no attention payed to the art even though Kelly's Book was sweet. I loved the russian birds. Then Erik an I went to Fujiyama. It was tasty we ate the Black Dragon and the Pink Lady rolls they were delish!! After dinner we went over to steves and heard all about his adventures over seas. Then we went home to watch Freaks and Geeks at my place. It was fun for a while then my God damned roomate came home with Rob and they were drinking and annoying the shit out of me so I retreated to my room and started crying that outburst of emotion was a long time comming I hadn't slept at home in two weeks and I had been avoiding my roomates like the plague. The fact that he was a dick to me after not having to speak to me in almost two weeks. It just put me over the edge. Erik kept telling me that I shouldn't worry about them because they don't care about me. That almost upset me more. Eventually he calmed me down but that just ruined the evening. BAH! I hate my life sometimes, well most of the time.
I went to a party after work on Sat and I saw a guy from my past there who totally looked HOT!! I kept getting great signals from him but I didn't give him my number because Erik was there and of course I felt guilty. We ended up talking to each other until we fell asleep. we talked about his Ex and Erik (soon to be Ex). I think he liked me, or was he just being polite? It hardly matters since I have no way of contacting him and I have no clue where he hangs out. I will never run into him and I should be content to know that there is a nice guy out there somewhere. But I won't be. I know how I am and I've actually seriously thought about breaking up with Erik and I think it's a good idea like I will actually feel happier once it happens. But I am so sure I will never meet another boy again that gives two shits about me. I am paralized by fear. gal dern it. I'm dumb.
Current Mood: aggravated
Current Music: New Order
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
but, you should never stop listening to your own voice!
It may sound dull to you, but it sound quite interesting to me. I may not know the "players" that you speak of, but the plot is thick and twisted, to hear what may unravel is exciting. It plays like a hollywood story... the sucky boyfriend and the guy that may never be again... oh how romantic.
Just thought you should know, I might end up moving closer to OH, Johnstown, PA to be exact, but that's if the job deal goes thru, so fingers crossed cause I really need the money.
You sprout those wings and fly again someday...