i'm trying really hard to pull my life together but days like today i just sleep and feel like shit and listen to Morrissey.
good lord, i feel so homosexual.
i really thought i was going to have to fuck off to Portland. i really felt like i needed family. i'd be with my brother and i know he'll always have my back.
my best friend and i reconciled and i'm learning to just keep a low profile around her husband. because it's not worth losing her again.
i know he's looking for any excuse to get her to keep a distance from me, which won't happen but i don't want to put anymore pressure on their marriage then there already is. it's weird because i know he likes me and thinks i'm a decent guy.
jealous is just really fucking retarded.
anyway, i'm probably going to be really busy the next couple weeks. which is good. i need to distance myself from ms. "fuck me/don't touch me", even though we sort of worked out what was going on and said we had some really good times and should leave it at that.
even still, i want her to be happy and everything, but at the moment i want her to do it away from me. i do not need to get sucked back into her emotional insecurities.
sometimes i feel really disappointed that she couldn't just pull her head out of her ass and we could have made something cool.
or, alternatively, me pull away when i started to see the signs that she was going to keep pulling the same thing over and over and over.
ugh.
i think i need a woman like Donna Reed. someone just fucking normal and mundane, no matter how lame it seems. just once not have her be emotionally cold, or a speed addict, or a cheat, or wishy-washy, or just too fuckin' needy. just for once i'd like a relationship that's... you know... healthy and productive.
if only life were that simple.
cheers. i think i'm going to go desposit some checks, pounf a 40 and then check the fuck out until tomorrow.
ta.
good lord, i feel so homosexual.
i really thought i was going to have to fuck off to Portland. i really felt like i needed family. i'd be with my brother and i know he'll always have my back.
my best friend and i reconciled and i'm learning to just keep a low profile around her husband. because it's not worth losing her again.
i know he's looking for any excuse to get her to keep a distance from me, which won't happen but i don't want to put anymore pressure on their marriage then there already is. it's weird because i know he likes me and thinks i'm a decent guy.
jealous is just really fucking retarded.
anyway, i'm probably going to be really busy the next couple weeks. which is good. i need to distance myself from ms. "fuck me/don't touch me", even though we sort of worked out what was going on and said we had some really good times and should leave it at that.
even still, i want her to be happy and everything, but at the moment i want her to do it away from me. i do not need to get sucked back into her emotional insecurities.
sometimes i feel really disappointed that she couldn't just pull her head out of her ass and we could have made something cool.
or, alternatively, me pull away when i started to see the signs that she was going to keep pulling the same thing over and over and over.
ugh.
i think i need a woman like Donna Reed. someone just fucking normal and mundane, no matter how lame it seems. just once not have her be emotionally cold, or a speed addict, or a cheat, or wishy-washy, or just too fuckin' needy. just for once i'd like a relationship that's... you know... healthy and productive.
if only life were that simple.
cheers. i think i'm going to go desposit some checks, pounf a 40 and then check the fuck out until tomorrow.
ta.
ringleader:
Yeah, this whole life thing is a lot to handle. It seems to get a little bit crazier all the time. ANd then, just when you get one thing figured out something else kicks you in the ass and makes you wonder if you really have anything figured out. Well, good luck 