8spiders

It is too fucking hot.

If you have any compassion, any compassion at all... if you are any sort of caring or loving human being you wioll shoot me.

You will shoot me in the fucking face.

I came to about 3 in the am.

Because of unexpected circumstances a few moneys ago I've been plucking my ass out of debt. Thankfully I make good money and I have few expenses other than running up a huge tab every time I go out.

There's a dynamic in my life right now that just realkly frustrates and irritates the fuck out of me...
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It's not something I'll ever really understand - a need to crush everything beautiful underneath the weight of your heel.

So many people grab the world, they force everything that does not make sense to them... they forcibley mold it into a shape that suits their vision to justifies their views. They want to leave their mark and they want the world to reflect them....
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,!,,

I had been wandering through a haze for months now. Was it before Karen left me? I know that's part of the reason I was so unaffected.

I'm almost sure it was.

I've felt so... insulated from everything. I'm a very... I'm reluctant to say emotional. I suppose intense is more appropriate? When I'm passionate I am passionate.

What is life if we do not...
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Portland was good.

I miss my brother.

Back to work in the warehouse and on my book and shit.

I think the girl at work is falling back for me. Bad news. Romance and work just don't work. Especially when you don't want to date her.

I'm tired. I'm moving in a couples months but still haven't found a place.

IThere's this girl I've always...
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It was an odd week last week.

Monday I went home with Masuimi Max after drinking with her and a friend of mine. She made me dinner and we chatted. She offered to clean parts of my house, but only if I record them and put it on her site.

I ended up cabbing it home at 4 in the morning.

The rest of the...
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I think I'm dumb. Maybe just happy.

Saturday is Octavio's book release party.

Drop me a line if you want to go. This especially means you, Nick.

They say a watched pot never boils.

It feels that's what I'm doing right now. Watching the pot... waiting for it to boil.

Occasionally I've been missing Karen but I tell myself it's for the best. There's no way she's sane enough for anything to work properly and when I'm involved with someone crazy it makes me crazy too.

I start ripping up floorboards and...
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I've been neglecting my SG journal.

And so it goes...

That is in, she came and went. Again. And again. And now I'm finally done with it.

I'm strangely not upset. I feel like I can't be bothered to be upset. I'm actually a little relieved, because I know what I want and I want someone who knows what they want.

As for everything else, I'm adjusting to my work schedule...
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It's been a long time...

I've got work soon and don't know what to say, except ever since I really decided things were going to be different... they've been different. I'll be back with more later...