88hopesfall

well.... i have survived 3 tours to iraq and the middle east, endured 8 years in the army, 10 years in a kitchen (5 of which, as a certified chef) and i have never killed or mamed anyone due to PTSD(post tramatic stress disorder).... so far so good... but that may change on wednesday. my ex, who left me for someone else while i was in iraq this time, has finally got me to come and meet her and to talk...it will be the first time we have spoken face to face in nearly a year. which i can deal with, i think... now i know that it will be really hard for me to do and to be there with her is gonna be tourtorious, in a way. but what do i do if my anger starts to get the better of me...? normally i dont get angry, but when you go from oneday talking about how you cant wait for someone to get home and then literaly the next day her telling you that she is gonna date someone else, how do you not get slightly pissed off...? (oh, and she and her new boytoy already broke up) maybe she is hoping to start over again, or maybe just wanting some final closure on us... at any rate i really dont care what she wants(i say that but deep down, i think that i really do) it is even worth going to see her, to get up early in the morning to meet her half way? it one of those things that i am definatly torn on, cause i really dont know what to do... part of me really wants to see, part of me really wants to rip her head off, and part of me really wants some type of closure to this whole ordeal. i dont think i have been this stressed out since i joined the army and went to explosives technition school or ranger school... damn, its wearing me out hard freakin core.... thats it i quite, i am going to bed... talk at you all laters!!!