well, its been a while. my black ass was locked up in a psycho ward at the 'loco' hospital. oh the ironies that stem'd from that situation. but thats for another time another place. i read that poor people are more proned to being diagnosed with skitzophrenia or some other from of dementia. no, shit!. they have to travel between so many different worlds that are constantly contradicting themselves. i feel like theres so much hate and indifference sometimes its like why bother trying to be on peoples good side. when they havent even figured out themselves yet. its like everyone lives in black and white, i wanna live in red and blue. 3 dimensional. whats the 4th dimension? 'understanding?' i dunno. who really cares. all i know is that these 2 dimensional people are barricading my thought process. Holla 
I want to be burned by the heat of impulse
I want to meet the knot that tangles me
I want to forget the way the story ends
I want time to take brief intermissions to freeze the moments that are good
I want whats wrong in this world to write Im wrong on its fore head
I want the shallow to dive into their own waters
I want to lie when everyone else decides to tell the truth
I want to kick my conscience
I want to be florescent purple when everything is black and white
I want to be entered into a thesaurus so I can look up alternative words for myself
I want a brochure on heaven and all its accommodations
I want to be understood when I cant phrase how I feel
I want assumptions to be made into fur coats until they become extinct
I want to surrender to someone who isnt fighting
I want honesty to be as comfortable as old blue jeans
I want to be free from my desire
Most of all, I want to never want again.