85girl

school started today...i hate school so much. i am in the paramedic program and i am really starting to ponder if thats what i even really want to do. I am sure once i am done with school and it becomes something i am comfortable with, i will love it...but right now i am shy and having a rough time doing the skills stuff because i dont want to speak up and deal with it. everytime i go to say something i think "what if i am wrong and everyone laughs at me"....i really need to get over this shy bull shit. It also doesnt help that my class spent the whole winter break hanging out and doing stuff that i cant do because i am one of the only ones that is under 21...makes me sad to be out of the loop.

wow, i really whine a lot. now on to some happy stuff...i just got home from the gym and i feel great when i am working out! i am trying so hard to get myself in good shape...makes me proud of myself since i have been battling with my weight for as long as i can remember. I have finally come to terms with never being a barbie doll...now i am just working on being fit and curvy. I am also tanning and getting my nails done, i feel so pretty....i am even thinking about posting another set soon...but i have to wait till next month when i go to visit my boy (who is also my photographer )

Well anyways, its bedtime for me. no more online playing for tonight.