new job in 12 hours
the endless circle begins anew

do most people set long term goals?
like in 4 years i want to be....
i would think so
i always seem to TRY and set them
as in the back of my mind
if all the chips fall in the right place i'll do this

do the chips ever fall in the right place?
at the near the coffin age of 27 i feel my plans
slipping through my fingers
but i don't grasp
i don't struggle to hold them onboard
they just fade away
almost forgotten except for late nights at Denny's
tossing around stories of missed ops and glory days
soooo many obsticals
love
work
love
money
marriage
time
friends
love
Ask the Dust by John Fante
work
divorce
accidents
time
hate
work
bills
love
time so much time

i stopped talking to a girl who liked me in Seattle
a few months ago
i packed everything i owned into my old Ford Bronco
and here i am
Las Vegas
going to get the BA that has been buzzing in my heart
for 10 years
going to walk that walk and grap that rolled up piece of paper
that at times i have scoffed at
worthless
overated
just money wasted

why?
it's grating at me
nawing on my mind
eating at my soul

i really close to erasing all this..
but fuck if i cant blather to people ive never met
ill just cram it all inside
and s t e w

as i reread i realize it's pretty
run of the mill drama
and a tad dull
but by george
IT'S MY DULL!


CapNStillkickingandscreamingafteralltheseyears