I hate teh way i get sometimes... i hate feeling this way and knowing there is nothing i can do about it. is it justified? do i even have teh right to feel this way? probably not. but no matter how i try to suprress this feeling it won't stop nagging at me.
Quote of the journal:
"Tired Of Sex"
I'm tired, so tired
I'm tired of having sex (So tired)
I'm spread so thin
I don't know who I am (who I am)
Monday night I'm makin' Jen
Tuesday night I'm makin' Lyn
Wednesday night I'm makin' Catherine
Oh, why can't I be makin' Love come true?
I'm beat, beet red
ashamed of what I said(What I said)
I'm sorry, here I go
I know I'm a sinner
but I can't say no(Say no)
Thursday night I'm makin' Denise
Friday night I'm makin' Therese
Saturday night I'm making Louise
Oh, why can't I be making Love come true?
Tonight, I'm down on my knees
Tonight, I'm beggin' you please
Tonight, tonight it bleeds
Oh why can't I be makin' Love come true?
not that i'm even getting, just plain sex 
Let him go. You had you're fucking chance, and do you know what, you blew it, big time. It's not fucking fair to continue to hold on to him and ruin every other chance he has. It's not just about me. . .or maybe it is, but fuckin hell. I don't know you, I don't care to. You could be really sweet, but right now you're pissing me off because you can't let go of the person I care about currently. Do you know what you're doing? You're turning him into you, and it's not fucking right. END THE PATTERN! Love yourself! And quit fucking fishing for compliments! You have a boyfriend fucking cunt. . .go fisihing with him, love him, not your past.
-howdy