75rhino

it all pushes apart
it all slams back together
it's amazing what an awkward
sober kiss
can do

sg is kind of like smoking cigarettes to me
it passes the time
and really isn't healthy
maybe if i didn't live in a studio
were the computer hums to me
i wouldn't get on here so much
if i didn't get on here so much
maybe i wouldn't come off
as a total basket case
i like coming off as a basket case
its...
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i get punched in the face
and you're fucking an insurance broker
it's kind of the same
doesn't make this hurt any less
being three thousand miles away
you should've been here
i don't belong there
you don't belong to me
california
it's not what i thought it would be
getting drunk is not what it used to meen

there's nobody here for me now...
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if there was ever a night
to call the last night
last night was that night
quitting drinking terrifies me
i feel like a loose my heart
but it has to be done
if i want to get to live out my dreams
i'm talented
but i've just pissed it away
the past couple of months
it's time to stop being lazy

"you know that...
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thanksgiving
the best ever
the best gravy, stuffing,and bird
nine bottles of wine
one bottle of chanpagne
time to switch to bass
my date ende up making out
with my best lady friend
while her boyfriend and i lpayed
fight club
i would've been down for getting naked
but we just couldn't convince him
hope everyone elses holiday
was as surreal as mine

i hate/love when i have no idea were i parked the car
i got this thing
i consider my only art
she said
"you have know idea how many one night stands i've had since we starting seeing each other"
i said
"i don't like you just because you have a vagina"
she was talking to a different guy almost every time i came back...
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there's tears in my eyes
and nobody gives a fuck
maybe my mother
but she doesn't know me
tara doesn't know me
at this point
angela
turned out to be smarter
than me
left me yelling outside her window
i had nothing original
to give
matt yates
its two syllables

so what
if i say i'll
crash us into a wall
you were flirting with that guy
with the skull t-shirt
what a cheese dick
don't
test me
drop you off here
i'm lost
i wear the same damn thing every day
JUST BE HONEST ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT
you're a whore
and i don't care
fucking let go
fucking bullshit romance
you know better...
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i've always hated books and poems
i always felt that you could
never really experience life
if you were just recycling someone
elses ideas
i read my first bukowski poem tonight
i hated it
that's a lie
but i'm about to just start
filling my mind with senseless shit
and he's as good a place to start as any
no cigs
no drinks
and i...
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drinking is the only thing that pushes
all the noise out of my head
only problem is
twenty four hours later
all the noise is back
the detox is fucking horrible though
i just put that fish hook right back in my lip
i want to type
"i'm going to the bar"
so bad
just eat something and watch bill murray
i have to get...
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