75rhino

i get punched in the face
and you're fucking an insurance broker
it's kind of the same
doesn't make this hurt any less
being three thousand miles away
you should've been here
i don't belong there
you don't belong to me
california
it's not what i thought it would be
getting drunk is not what it used to meen

there's nobody here for me now
they said
you know those girls aren't real
they don't care about you
i know that that's true
but your names meen so much to me somehow
gettiing touched by words
simple words
they sure do complicate things

it's over
and that scares me
because something new has to start
i think it allready did
i just was to drunk to see it
it's not what i want
but it is what i need
i don't want to need it
i still shake my head
in disbelief
it's time to detox
and deal with
all those emotions
i was unwilling to deal with fifteen years ago
or was it just a month ago
i hate it
the bullshit insecurities
why am i so fucking terrified of people
because people are shit matt
that kind of thinking won't work here anymore
it'll be worse tomorrow
i know
i've done this a hundred times