75rhino

i've always hated books and poems
i always felt that you could
never really experience life
if you were just recycling someone
elses ideas
i read my first bukowski poem tonight
i hated it
that's a lie
but i'm about to just start
filling my mind with senseless shit
and he's as good a place to start as any
no cigs
no drinks
and i feel
so fucking mean right now
i'm starting to hate both of them
fuck you for leaving
and fuck you for letting me stay

it's a a chemical response
in your brain
go get a drink
the bar's closed
which response is the true one
this one
or the drunk one

i'm wide awake and feel like
experiencing fluids
the sex ones
or blood
i'm gnashing my teeth

when will i start
walking around and not
hold up my middle finger
at everything
this isn't enough
repeat that till it
doesn't sound like words
i feel like i have fucking bees in my head
iwish you would choke me until i passed out
than smack me till i woke back up
maybe i wouldn't
my guts are fucked
maybe i'll get on antidepressants
and won't have these
amazing mood swings
i'll buy some girll
a diamond
that cost someone their arm
she'll fuck the next door neighbor
and i'll burn down our fucking sausage link
with the dog still in it

i'm half tempted
to take this fuck on
just to see if he can ruin
my life
everybody else
just bows down to that bitch
and lets her ruin their time
not me
and i'm the fucking bad guy
it's a bar
people are supposed to get drunk

i shouldn't let it get to me
go become an animator
leave this shit behind
it's not worth it
say that till it doesn't sound like words
just dissapear
i wish it were that simple
the bees always come back