COPS (cue "Bad Boys" theme music)
Baltimore, MD Friday, Aug 6
In front of Kissling's
A red Toyota 4runner starts to pull out from an intersection and threatens to hit me and my GF on her motorcycle. I sound the horn and the vehicle stops without striking us. It then follows us, tailing us closely and gunning the engine to surge up aggressively behind us again and again. We come to a stop light in front of Kissling's. The driver continues to be aggressive and bumps in to the back of us. I put down the kick stand and walked back to the driver's window to casually ask what in the FUCK he thought he was doing. He would not roll down his window. Perhaps he did not want me to smell the urine that escaped into his pants while I was pounding the fuck out of his window, I am not sure. Shortly three people who had witnessed the incident appeared and surrounded his vehicle. The driver of a car that was behind us and witnessed the incident pulled up close to his rear and parked to block him in. One of the witnesses was an army captain and he took charge of the scene and managed to talk me into going back over by my bike. I'm not sure how I managed to bring myself to doing that without kicking the SHIT out of that fuck-wad in the car, but I did. I guess I figured I would rather not join him in jail, but it sure would have been worth it.
But wait there is more...
Then the guy starts getting REALLY aggressive and trying to force his way out of the vehicle since he is now aware that the police are on the way. Eventually he does force his way out of the car and flees the scene [without my noticing I must add 'cuz wouldda DROPKICKED his ass had I noticed him slipping away], abandoning his vehicle in the road. So we sit. And we wait. And wait. Eventually the cops show up but he is long gone. They search the vehicle and discover his passport that we use to positively identify him as the driver. From that we discover that this car does not belong to him. The asshole possibly is such an asshole that he borrowed somebody's car then abandoned it on the road. He sure didn't look like the type to be stealing a car. The car got impounded. He got a warrant out for his arrest for aggravated assault. If they find him he gets a baloney sandwich downtown, the officer says. I got so jacked up on adrenaline that my legs were twitching for like two hours.
How's that for a Friday night?
Saturday my GF and I met some friends down at Cedarville Park to ride our mountain bikes while scouting trail for the run we are planning two Sundays from now. That was loads of fun, but at the end my GF got stung in the EAR by a wasp and lost her sunglasses while swatting the pests away.
Sunday we went to Chesapeake Beach to do the trail running hash in the sweltering heat, but it was good trail and good beer so that was OK. We had a hot tub party at someone's house afterward. I was the designated driver, and my GF and one of my other friends that rode with us got seriously FUCKED UP. GF decided to get sick just as we were crossing the South River bridge so I could not pull over and she spewed all over the side of the car. At least it was HER car!!! She got sick one or two times more on the way back. My less drunk buddy helped me pour water and such on it to try to save the paint. My more drunk buddy slept through the whole thing.
Today my GF's ear was still swolen and she felt achy and lethargic so I talked her into going to see a doc but she had trouble finding a walk-in clinic, so I end up spending 4 hours taking her to the doc and back instead of working. She got some drugs and a shot and doc's orders to go home and rest rather than go back to work.
What a freak show weekend, eh?
Baltimore, MD Friday, Aug 6
In front of Kissling's
A red Toyota 4runner starts to pull out from an intersection and threatens to hit me and my GF on her motorcycle. I sound the horn and the vehicle stops without striking us. It then follows us, tailing us closely and gunning the engine to surge up aggressively behind us again and again. We come to a stop light in front of Kissling's. The driver continues to be aggressive and bumps in to the back of us. I put down the kick stand and walked back to the driver's window to casually ask what in the FUCK he thought he was doing. He would not roll down his window. Perhaps he did not want me to smell the urine that escaped into his pants while I was pounding the fuck out of his window, I am not sure. Shortly three people who had witnessed the incident appeared and surrounded his vehicle. The driver of a car that was behind us and witnessed the incident pulled up close to his rear and parked to block him in. One of the witnesses was an army captain and he took charge of the scene and managed to talk me into going back over by my bike. I'm not sure how I managed to bring myself to doing that without kicking the SHIT out of that fuck-wad in the car, but I did. I guess I figured I would rather not join him in jail, but it sure would have been worth it.
But wait there is more...
Then the guy starts getting REALLY aggressive and trying to force his way out of the vehicle since he is now aware that the police are on the way. Eventually he does force his way out of the car and flees the scene [without my noticing I must add 'cuz wouldda DROPKICKED his ass had I noticed him slipping away], abandoning his vehicle in the road. So we sit. And we wait. And wait. Eventually the cops show up but he is long gone. They search the vehicle and discover his passport that we use to positively identify him as the driver. From that we discover that this car does not belong to him. The asshole possibly is such an asshole that he borrowed somebody's car then abandoned it on the road. He sure didn't look like the type to be stealing a car. The car got impounded. He got a warrant out for his arrest for aggravated assault. If they find him he gets a baloney sandwich downtown, the officer says. I got so jacked up on adrenaline that my legs were twitching for like two hours.
How's that for a Friday night?
Saturday my GF and I met some friends down at Cedarville Park to ride our mountain bikes while scouting trail for the run we are planning two Sundays from now. That was loads of fun, but at the end my GF got stung in the EAR by a wasp and lost her sunglasses while swatting the pests away.
Sunday we went to Chesapeake Beach to do the trail running hash in the sweltering heat, but it was good trail and good beer so that was OK. We had a hot tub party at someone's house afterward. I was the designated driver, and my GF and one of my other friends that rode with us got seriously FUCKED UP. GF decided to get sick just as we were crossing the South River bridge so I could not pull over and she spewed all over the side of the car. At least it was HER car!!! She got sick one or two times more on the way back. My less drunk buddy helped me pour water and such on it to try to save the paint. My more drunk buddy slept through the whole thing.
Today my GF's ear was still swolen and she felt achy and lethargic so I talked her into going to see a doc but she had trouble finding a walk-in clinic, so I end up spending 4 hours taking her to the doc and back instead of working. She got some drugs and a shot and doc's orders to go home and rest rather than go back to work.
What a freak show weekend, eh?
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
also: i've puked on the side of a car before and it really did ruin the paint!