2low

ok, im being fucking broken.the one person who i thought gave a fuck. Angela someone who i thought was so perfect. is scrambling my brain. after her being my best friend for over 2 years. i told her i loved her. as a friend, even though i would love to have a relationship with her. i wouldnt want to ruin what we already have. anyways....
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well im inches from iving up on finding a good woman. i need a girl who understnads the darker side of me. bondage, pin ups death metal. all that stuff but it seems to "creep out" anyone i tell about it. Like minded women are few and far between. ive been home every weekend for months and single since january. if it wasnt for a...
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ever worry about a suicidal friend? knowing you couldnt live without them? im so worried and dont know what to do i just want to take her away and make things all better. even though i cant even do it for myself.

Im slipping again. back down. so much to tell, no one to listen. everyone moving forward building lives. as i stand here. falling. no one helps they watch me slip. uncaring. saying they do. " understand" as they turn a def ear to my problems. no one will ever understand. never. maybe she will. but where is she when i need her. will she ever...
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well, im 21. spent a weekend home instead of another weekend at the shop. instead i threw myslef a night out. but i obviosly suck at throwing a party. couse it blew but whatever.who cares anyways

blank minded. feelings, i have none. on the fence of rage and sadness. darkness becomes me. the broken man

Nate

filled with rage. full of regrets, and anger. anger for myself and for others.

Anger for the past. i need to get it out somehow. i dont give a fuck who reads
this, and i could give two shits if anyone cares.half of it is your fault anyways.
im sick of all these knives in my back. whether you know you put it there or...
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well, the monte is almost roadable again, work is orsome.not much else is new really. nothing is stresing me anymore, i guess it comes and goes. you know, stressing about the basics of life. love, money and that junk.but on alighter side. somhow a totall hottie slipped under my raidar and somehow came to my attention. letterbomb is the most beutiful girl ever! "babenest babe...
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well, i think my brain is broken i cant think. i just want to be happy. but it isnt going very well. all i want is a good woman some money in the bank, and maybe a beer on fridays. is that to much to ask.
apperently so

I feel so blah lately, like i should be doing something. what exactly that "thing" is i dont know. im feeling the urge more and more to do some body mods of some kind, my face is all healed up oddly enough.
I joined vampirefreaks out of boredom only to descover a pile of hot ladies. so woot