2def

Shit my dad says, Justin posts the shit his dad says http://twitter.com/Shitmydadsays

-Why the f*ck would I want to live to 100? I'm 73 and sh*ts starting to get boring. By the way, there is no money left when I go, just fyi.-

-I turn the kitchen faucet on and the shower burns you, yes, I get it...No, I m not gonna stop, I m just saying yes, I get that concept.-

-Anytime someone sells you food in a sack, its not a sack of food, its a sack of sh*t.-

-Happy birthday, I didnt get you a present...Oh, mom got you one? Well, thats from me then too, unless its sh*tty.-

-Dont listen to the pussy side of you when you make a decision. People gravitate towards being a pussy. Remove the pussy, son.-

-Fucking Radio Shack. Its a wonder they even know how to use a bathroom and don't just walk around all day with sh*t in their pants.-

-The universe does not give a f*ck about you. You are a speck in its sh*t.-

-Sometimes life leaves a hundred dollar bill on your dresser, and you dont realize until later that its because it fucked you.-

-I think the baby sh*t....Well, I m smelling sh*t right now, so if it aint the baby, one of you has a big fucking problem.-

-No, you can not borrow my t-shirt...How about instead of standing there looking shocked, you do your fucking laundry?-