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2bit_sapiens

gathering no moss, except on teef

Member Since 2004

Followers 10 Following 8

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Friday Oct 15, 2004

Oct 15, 2004
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written 10/15 at 2:00 am EST

ny is alive. it is so alive that it buzzes. its cry is deafening, it is constant like a humming, steaming, driving engine. one can not turn it off. it waits for no one and shows mercy on no one. i think i would be driven mad by its roar-jaded and blocked. g said one must block out the energy in order to survive. can you imagine having to actively block such a thing every moment of your life? it is an unforgiving place. ny is a city of the young. to be young here is to be blessed. your youth is taken here for advantage, a high card in the deck. the east village is the place to be, there are underground, dimly lit dens where couples sit to dine away their salaries. countless bars and novelty shops-packed together along tree-lined streets...twinkling lights strung in window and boughs. i could not live here, not for very long anyway. i could give nyc my youth-it would take it gladly and then be gone. there are girls in ny, let me tell you there is pussy galore. they are dark, 1st impression: dark.
myths dispelled today: ny is not as tall as i suspected. ny's streets are not as densely packed as i suspected. walking in ny today was like walking in SF-only with a sprawl factor X50. a city is a city is a city (i believe this now) only w/slight variations-maybe a species of flora, maybe a river or coast, maybe an architecture unique to that time-but a common metropolis all the same. ny is lonely-there are so many souls here, they are searching, grasping out. they are alone.
my legs hurt, we walked from 4 pm 'til 1:30 am-non-stop except for 2 hours in a gay male bar named Splash & a gay female bar named Ava. we tore shit up on Wall Street, all the Villages, Times Square and Chelsea. the WTC site echoes of tragedy as if it were yesterday. many still stand there looking out on the void, reaching what small tribute is given on chain-link separations.
# of people who were rude ot me in ny today: 1
# who said hello: 9
number of layers i had on top: 4
# on bottom: 2
a hat: Yes
the weather started w/drizzle @ 7am, followed by overcast gray and then humidity-g & i were hot, walking and hot-it is not cold here now. it is pleasant but muggy.
my first glimpse of ny was, walking up from the subway, the brownstones-the steeple in the distance-this is Uptown- Washington Heights-g's hood. it is thrilling-we are here-the mecca. the colors are vibrant yet subdued-dulled by a history so long yet vibrant w/same rich history-forever imprinted in concrete. the house we are staying in tonight is g's childhood home-a Latin home-on 143rd and Amsterdam-the Dominican neighborhood. it smells of yucca and urine-there are bags of trash everywhere-not just here but everywhere (everywhere but Dwntwn. and Times Square) dare not muddle tourists w/such repulsive humanity.
g had to climb in through the window to get in this morning-we were dog tired-no sleep-welcome to NY and now you're onstage...now you have to perform.
there is plastic on the furniture, small dolls on bedroom dressers, mango chilling in the fridge. this is Uptown..
i am tired already of the city, there are so many people that you just don't get noticed. i am going to move away to the farm i think-18 years in the Sf Bay Area and almost 26 in urban CA. it is time-i want the freedom to choose. to not work 10-12 hrs. days for piddley money to barely get by in the concrete jungle. it is time...
sixothree:
that is one of the most powerful things i have ever read. may i borrow part of it to paste into my own (real) journal to read at later dates for inspiration? i'm truly touched.

i was only in the city for 2 days so i didn't get as much of a glimpse as you did. and my uncle (with whom i stayed) lives in a cute little apartment in queens, so i didn't quite get the same taste as you in that aspect either. we mostly drove around the city. two days in nyc is like being given a minute to describe the history of the united states. sure, i have pictures of lincoln center and 5th avenue Louis Vuitton, and we went to the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island... but we didn't get to even peer at the WTC site (it was behind thick green chain-link fences and there was nowhere to stop), we didn't walk through times square. i saw so much, but missed the essence of the city.

i think that if you grew up in the city, of course a city is a city is a city. but if you grew up where i grew up, every city is completely different. i learn each city from the beginning. they all have their own infrastructure and it's all unique to me. perhaps i just haven't visited enough cities for long enough periods of time. who knows, i'm very naive. all i know is that what you say about nyc is completely true. and it makes me sad for those who yearn to be there, also for those who are trapped there thinking it's the way life is everywhere.
Oct 15, 2004

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