sometimes you just need to open a vein and write
its... 15:12 most of my bills are paid, life should be good, afterall my choices are limitless, I am for the most part, free. No obligations, and yet, when there are no obligations I feel more obligated to keep my promises, therby trapping myself further in a place I don't even know If I want to be.
I have moved so much in my life, maybe that is why I don't want to move again, My mom moved to run from her problems, I moved to solve mine, and yet, here I am again faced with that ultimate decision, to move or not to move, and I find myself conflicted, to give up so much to gain an equaly desireable prize. Either way I lose. I suppose either way I win as well, but the prizes are different and so are the games, and I suppose it depends on which game I want to play.
Life is a game I have decided, people get angry, and I laugh, people care, and I laugh, I used to get emotional, angry, I had fits of jealousy, love, happyness, sadness, now its just... fun, thats what life is, fun, fun is happyness, excitement, is happyness, bleed something dry then move on, life without new experiences isn't a life to be lived, comfort is boring, to grow you must learn, to learn you must experience, to experience is to live, to live is to grow.
it is all quite simple.
its... 15:12 most of my bills are paid, life should be good, afterall my choices are limitless, I am for the most part, free. No obligations, and yet, when there are no obligations I feel more obligated to keep my promises, therby trapping myself further in a place I don't even know If I want to be.
I have moved so much in my life, maybe that is why I don't want to move again, My mom moved to run from her problems, I moved to solve mine, and yet, here I am again faced with that ultimate decision, to move or not to move, and I find myself conflicted, to give up so much to gain an equaly desireable prize. Either way I lose. I suppose either way I win as well, but the prizes are different and so are the games, and I suppose it depends on which game I want to play.
Life is a game I have decided, people get angry, and I laugh, people care, and I laugh, I used to get emotional, angry, I had fits of jealousy, love, happyness, sadness, now its just... fun, thats what life is, fun, fun is happyness, excitement, is happyness, bleed something dry then move on, life without new experiences isn't a life to be lived, comfort is boring, to grow you must learn, to learn you must experience, to experience is to live, to live is to grow.
it is all quite simple.
andromeda:
Wow. I love your journal entry! It isn't very often that I can relate to what people write. I love to run away from things as well. It sounds like you really know much much more than you think. 