Man in the mirror

1

http://youtu.be/FKgEUYcq_mU

@colchicine

colchicine:
HAHAHA that's great! I doubt MJ would have cared about someone enjoying his music, that video would have probably made him smile! Damn greedy family and executives >:/ 
1akbrian:
I'm glad it worked, I play the video every once in a while for his wife. Every time he hears it he's like "really!, you still have that!" @colchicine

Hats

6

Why is it that women always try and steal my hat. Every single time I wear a hat some chick tries to steal it from me, then I have to chase her down to get it back. I see it happen to other guys at the bar too. Ladies any input would be appreciated as this is a mystery that I can't figure out.

VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
_finklestein_:
So, what would happen if I wear my sombrero to a bar?!
1akbrian:
Prepare to chase girls around all night @_finklestein_

I hate plumbing on the side

7

People always ask what I do, I tell them plumber and they automatically think I want side work. I have a buddy that want a two bath remodel at his house and thinks he's going to get it cheap because its side work. Yes I'm not going to charge him what my company charges, but I'm also not doing it for free. My general rule...
Read More

VIEW 22 of 22 COMMENTS
colchicine:
My partner gets the same problem, when people find out he does I.T support and is good at fixing computers they ask him to fix their personal computer and expect it to be free, then get pissed off when he tells them his hourly rate. I even had people i know asking ME to ask him to fix their computers for free cus "we are friends". One ex friend got pretty mad when they asked me to ask him to fix their computer and i said "He doesn't even know you, why would he want to work free for a stranger?" they said "Well you said he fixed YOUR computer for free" and i trumped them with "Yeah, he fixed mine for free because i fuck him. I can ask him what his hourly blowjob rate is if you want, i'm sure you two can work something out."
1akbrian:
@colchine 😂😂😂😂

So I got an email

6

The person that sold me my depth charge sends me an email asking what my plans are for it. He asked are you making a table or a lamp out of it? I'm just curious. I simply responded "sinking U-boats silly." It's been two weeks and still no response back or knock on my door from any federal agents, so I think I'm in the
Read More

VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
colchicine:
The female at the register looked confused like she wasn't sure if i was kidding or not, the male employee looked terrified. I doubt their faces would be that much different if i told them i was going to make them into post apocalyptic weapons for my madmax inspired armor outfit. I quit explaining that to people because they kept asking if i was making them for a convention, then get creeped out when i say no, just getting ready for judgement day. Seriously though, why do they have to be a "costume" for some event. I like to play dress up in my own home, so what!?
1akbrian:
Exactly @colchicine I have a mace made out of the flywheel from a car transmission. I always get a look when I tell someone about it. I'm just like you never know, I'd rather have it and not need it.

Damn you drunk cute girl

5

Why do you not give me the time of day when you're sober. I used to be an ass and would take you home in a heartbeat. But now sober me feels like a creep when you are drunk and I'm not.

VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
colchicine:
I know i felt pretty betrayed when i got drunk and had sex and the partner was stone cold sober. I drink now before getting down but it's because it relaxes me and my partner is well aware of that. I'm pretty bitter about people doing that in the past, they should have declined the first time and saw how i felt about doing it later instead of taking advantage at the first chance. If we were both wasted, i get it, no one was thinking clearly, but a sober guy has no excuse. 
1akbrian:
Exactly @colchine 
Join Now to see more