WOW! wtf is wrong with people???? Ive been noticing thats a big issue with a lot of douche bags, when you react to something stupid they do, THEY act like YOU are the asshole. Something like that happened to me last week, this loser in a jeep cut us off in traffic and when we honked he waved and smiled like it was funny so we flipped him off and he acted SUPER offended and glared at us and added douche bag body language to boot.  What in the world was the guy thinking before touching your goatee??? " I'm going to fondle a grown man's facial hair and he should be totally fine with it, because this is an absolutely normal thing for an adult man to do. He better not get mad at me!!" 

@colchicine at least when a woman has ever touched my goatee they've asked. I feel like smacking the next guy right in the face. Open handed of course, and just hard enough that he pee's himself a little.