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1aine

bleepity bleep bleep bleep

Member Since 2005

Followers 7 Following 4

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Wednesday Aug 15, 2007

Aug 15, 2007
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Hey Girls-

Just a brief update on how wonderful my life is now....went on my date on Sat....great guy, but not too much chemistry....we have loads in common so in the least, I've made myself a friend to do stuff with up here that my other friends aren't really into (which is what I've wanted).

AND.......fate has reconnected me with a blast from the past. Through sources on my computer which will remain nameless, a picture popped up on my screen & there he was! (And I hadn't even been looking for him.) 14 fucking years since I've last seen him & he was right there in front of me. Looking even better, as if that was possible. That was two days ago....since then we've been flirting back & forth through messages & talking on the phone, and I feel that warm fuzzy feeling in places I forgot could feel that way. I'm not sure I want to get into something super serious quite yet. I wouldn't want my baggage to screw it up......but I can't explain how great it feels that we could possibly start something!

By the looks of this it sounds like my life is wonderful soley on the basis of men, which is totally untrue (even though the attention does wonders to boost the self esteem). I am truly so much happier without my ex in my life. I NEVER imagined I could or would ever feel like that, but it's like the world, which I had been carrying for years, has been lifted off of my shoulders. I literally feel lighter. I don't have to worry about the money always disappearing & not being able to pay the bills. I don't have that "fist in my stomach" feeling when I'm constantly being lied to. I don't have to tip-toe around everything worrying about any little thing that might set him off. I can be the kind of person I've missed in myself for so long....positive. I have energy to put towards the kids now. We play & I'm actually having fun with them. The whole dynamic in the home has changed.....my kids don't have "melt-downs" anymore & we all get along in a much more upbeat, positive manner. I have a great job & have met some great people because of it. I feel alive again.......I LOVE MY LIFE!!!!!
pandorashope:
It is wonderful to see that you have regained your happiness sweetie--And the ability to be the kind of mother you know you are--I understand how horrible it was to live the way you did--:HUGS:--Clarity and confidence are inspiring feelings and obviosly it has shown as you have made so many friends at work-Like Atlas shrugging huh?-Just from the few blogs of yours I have read my intuition tells me you are one of those few and far between beautiful souls--I wish you all the luck and goodness the world can offer--And yes always love your life--It is the only one we have on this place...If I am not being to nosy (and you can smack me if I am lol) where do you live--Your profile says you love to hike and camp and I am curious where--I grew up in NM and adored the outdoors--Mountains and the smell of pine trees bring me the few moments of peace I have found so far--But anyways I hope you and your boys are well--Take care sweetie kiss

Lexi
Sep 22, 2007

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