I have felt quite a bit better in general so far this year. Being in therapy since last fall is helping, playing shows again is helping

...probably also helps that I realized I was asexual back in October.

yeah.

I felt like my whole life up to then had been a fucking lie.

So much shit I would have avoided experiencing, doing or saying had I known at a much younger age.

I would have known to tell whatsherfuckingface not to send me unsolicited n00dz anymore (that happened to me more than once too).

it explains fucking everything. it even explains what kind of porn I like (ie: I fucking hate POV and VR shit).

I don't know if I'm aromantic. I don't think hating romance makes someone aromantic. right?

....we'll see how I feel when it starts getting really hot out (I will say, this is the shittiest spring that ever sprung . . . but ya know what? I still hate the world, I just don't hate myself so much anymore).

edit- i completely forgot to add. . . .on this site of all places. . . . .there is a specific sublabel in the ace spectrum i identify as: aegosexual. means you still enjoy smut/fantasy/etc. eh?